Why is this so familiar?
January 6, 2009Well, I didn’t want to find myself in this spot again…EVER, but I am. Over the course of 2008 I learned my lesson the hard way. At the beginning of ‘08 I found my weight to be in the low 140’s (close to my record high of 151 in high school!) and I knew I needed the change…I never wanted to be over 140 in my life, not necessarily for "vanity" reasons, but also for health. I have a short stature I clock in at a mere 5′4" and have a smaller frame. The point, when I gain weight…I gain it FAST!!! And it’s always visible, God "blessed" me those infamous hips and thighs. I played soccer in high school for 3 years and I’ve always had muscular legs, but any gain of weight suctions itself right on to them! Go figure!!!!LOL….Anyway, my weight has fluctuated in high school from 151 to mid 120’s. I’ve always been a little "thicker" a little larger and curvier than the average girl. I watched my mom battle her weight…the yo-yo dieting, etc. My father passed away when I was 14 from a stroke, he was an "old time farmer" (God love him!!)…But, breakfast was always "hardy" and by hardy I mean flapjacks SMOTHERED in butter and real maple-syrup, bacon fried in grease, sausage, etc…Dinner, always meat and potatoes and HUGE portions! I’m not 100% sure if a stroke is genetically caused and/or diet is a contributing factor, but at the end of 2004 I knew a change had to be made. From then on, we’ve ate healthier…lean chicken, more veggies, etc. But, still going out for dinner and large portions was a battle. The end of 2007 slapped me in the face and said that I needed to get things on the right track and straighten my life and health up. Like every other NY’s resolutioner I made the "pact" to lose the weight…and I lost it. A whopping 30 lbs! I was my lightest at 112 at the end of May. Asked how I did it? Lots of blood, sweat, tears and sacrifice. I started training on the right foot, 6 smaller meals a day lean veggies and a complex carb…weight training 3x a week and cardio the other 3x days. I had a cheat day at the end of the week and had what I was craving for, everything in moderation. Then, I thought I would up the "anti" on things, I pulled longer cardio sessions and some days, twice a day and I added in my "rest" day. I never wanted to sit idle. The weight training stayed at 3 days a week. If there was ever a queen of being a cardio junkie, it was me! I decided to cut my calories down to around 1200 calories a day, the majority of my carbs came from a bowl of oatmeal in the morning…nothing really in the rest of the day…maybe some yogurt, maybe. Keep in mind, I was still being as active as I was…still doing the intense cardio. I walked to college everyday with an easily 40lb backpack uphill about a mile and then went the gym and walked downhill at the end of the day. I couldn’t really see the visible changes to my body, but people complimented me on how I was starting to look so good….Like anyone else, I "ate" it up and fed on it. It was like an emotional high to hear that. I knew my hardwork was paying off and it made me want to work harder and see what else I could accomplish. I never really gained notable muscle definition because I lagged in the weight training department and kept the same pear-shape, just a smaller version…I ran and ran and ran and ran. In addition, the diet was poor! I’d starve myself all week to eat one day on the weekend. I looked forward to that, sometimes I’d be excited to just get to the end of the week. I felt like I was rushing my life, just to get to ONE day! I got what I needed out of the "cheat" food at the end of the week. Deprived and hungry I gorged…breakfast, lunch, dessert, dinner HUGE! Greasy, sugary, etc. I went on vacation in mid-July and I was in heaven, FOOD, FOOD, FOOD. I would workout in the morning and eat clean during the day and by the time we went out for dinner it was large and out of control. I looked forward to eating and it didn’t help DQ was a block from the hotel! I told myself I was going to buckle down when I got home and settle back in the "real world". Didn’t happen, my cheat day turned into 2 days…I found it okay to have something to eat the night before and suddenly things snowballed it was numbing to eat. By the end of December I was back to 143. Again, me?! This road I was NEVER going to embark on again? I was just in the 110’s 6 months ago! What the hell happened? Here it was again the night for the NY’s resolution. Again, I made it. And this time I don’t want to go down the road I did. I damaged my body, my mind, my spirit. When I get to that "Y" in the road, I’m going to go "right" instead of "wrong". I don’t want to deprive myself too much, NO over-training! I’m going to keep going strong and the correct way! If anything I never want to see a woman go the same direction as I once did. It’s destructive…But, if you are going on that track, stop it now!! Take control of your life! Food is fuel and not comfort…push your body, but don’t over-do it! Keep going strong everyone! God bless!!! xoxo
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