R.I.P. Kat
April 19,2010 (10:36 a.m.): Kat loss her 6 month battle with cancer.  It was sudden, but she remained a fighter to the end.  We can all find peace in knowing she is with her Heavenly Father and eternal peace.  She loved her Body Building Community.  Let her progress be an inspiration to all. Stay motivated and GOD BLESS!!

Stats:

Oct. 26, 2009 - found out she had rectal cancer
finished chemo & radiation treatments just before Christmas
Jan. 16, 2010 - Kat was rushed to the hospital only to find out she had developed stomach cancer (tumors)
Diagnosed: Aggressive & Terminal
Jan. 26, 2010 - Left the hospital to spend her last days with family and be where her Grandparents died.
March 22, 2010 - Hospice told family the beginning of the end is drawing near but she held on for another 4 weeks!!

 

 

Today, I took a long walk during my lunch break. It is a beautiful day in VA. It is warm and still early enough in the year that I don’t have to worry about my allergies. I love, love, love days like this. Everything seems so perfect!

Last night I did my back and biceps work. I need major improvement in those two areas. I felt good throughout my workout and I feel like I am improving. My trainer wants to keep me on my current schedule for a while longer.

As far as my nutrition, I am hungry towards the end of the day. I eat every few hours, but I tend to want more carbs at night (more than I am allowed by that point- my macros are 50/25/25). By the end of the week, my allowed “cheats” really come into play because I am so hungry. I wore my Polar HR monitor this week for a period of 24 hours. I burned 3,015 calories in those 24 hours. I then wore it for about 12 more hours after that just to make sure it was accurate. At rest, I burn over 100 calories per hour. I am eating around 2,200-2,300 calories per day. I am still trying to gain muscle and drop fat, as I will not step on stage until October.

I have this vision of myself as I step on stage. I know what I will look like. I have to make it happen. I am somewhat cocky in my thoughts because I say I will win. For me, I have to go into it with that mindset. I often see women saying they want to enter a competition and place in the top five. Well, I need to go for number one. If I only strive for the top five, then fifth place is what I will be. I am giving it my all. I have an awesome support group and I am leaning on them, especially my guy. He brings me back down to reality when I start questioning everything. I am such a nerd- I analyze everything. With that comes thoroughness and organization in everything I do. That is why I like my job as a programmer- it suits my personality- and I don’t have to talk to anyone all day- lol.

Well, I’d better get back to work. I need to get a lot done before the end of the week. Oh, and I have an eye doctor’s appointment on Friday. Let’s hope that I am allowed to get contacts this year. I don’t want to be the only bodybuilder on stage with glasses-lol. I am so much of a nerd that my eyes are too bad for contacts. I am not sure what makes me think my eyes have gotten better when I know I am having trouble seeing what I am typing right now. Oh- let me zoom to 500%- that is better- now I can see what I am typing- I was only at 200%. Roflmao.

I joined this site. I am happy that I did. I have met a lot of great people and learned a lot. Thank you all. So many of you have been so supportive and that means a lot. This is a lifelong journey for me and I am really enjoying it. I am happy to be able to share it with like-minded people.

About this week- I have been in a bad mood for the past few days. I have taken it out on my guy (*sorry*). If I really dig down deep, I realize that my mood is a reflection of what I see in the mirror. I was not happy with my progress this weekend. When I took my pictures, I just felt bad. Mentally, it took a lot out of me. I know that I have hit a plateau and because of that I have changed my cardio. Hopefully, my body will respond. Actually, I know it will. I am not a negative person anymore, but in the past I was. Sometimes, it takes a lot of work to keep the old me away. Sometimes, I still have a bad day every now and then. This will pass in time and so will my plateau.

My trainer worked with me from Sunday through last night. I am happy with the progress I made (and will make). I am happy with my trainer, in all aspects. He is very familiar with the organization that I will be competing with, he pushes me hard during my workouts (my legs are sore- that is a huge accomplishment), and he knows how to prep me for the show. He is a kind man who showed great respect for my family and I while in my home. I am glad that I have chosen this path.

So, what did I learn?

• Working out in socks can sometimes get slippery. LOL  (I never wear shoes at home)
  
• Throw away the sweatpants that you wore when you were 100 pounds heavier. Hello, they don’t fit anymore- your trainer should not have to tell you that! Just because they have a drawstring does not mean that they should still be worn. LOL
  
• I need to breathe. I tend to hold my breath a lot.
  
• I need to slow things down. P90X was a fast-paced workout. I do not need to go that fast anymore.
  
• I need to make sure I do full reps. My pull-ups need to extend all the way down and back up. My push-ups need to go all the way to the floor and back up.
  
• My triceps still need work.
  
• My lats need major improvement.
  
• My biceps need work.
  
• I have a good amount of muscle on my lower body, but I carry most of my fat there too. (I already knew this, but we talked about it more.)
  
• I have to practice posing after every workout, but I am not horrible at it.
  

I will be competing in October. I will be competing close to home, which is nice. I am looking forward to it and I have NO doubts about what I am doing.

I am very blessed to have a good trainer, a wonderful guy who supports me in this, and an awesome daughter. Yes, I am happy.

For the past few months I have been extremely aware of my surroundings. I have paid attention to the people around me and their responses to situations. Because I plan to compete this fall, I do not want anyone to bring me down emotionally.

The past two days have really got me thinking about things. Some people I have surrounded myself with are negative, angry at the world, and full of complaints. Some people just can’t seem to forgive and forget. Their thoughts control them and their thoughts are negative. I see it more in my friends and family everyday.

I am very excited about certain things in my life right now. I can’t help but be filled with happiness. When I share my happiness with someone around me the last thing I want to hear is a bunch of questions trying to bring me down. Right now my mind is centered on certain things. I am focused on my getting my job done, taking care of my kid after and before and making the best of the time I have with her, and then training afterwards. I have worked hard to become the woman I am today. I am finally secure in myself. I am secure in my relationship with my guy. I don’t get to see him much, but I am secure in what he does and what I do. He controls his actions as do I. No one can break us apart unless we want that. The three of us live life in a stress-free zone (figuratively because he doesn’t live with us).

I need to bring that stress-free zone to my friends and family. I need to make sure that the way I live my life at home is the way I live my life at all times. I have got to set boundaries. I have got to tell people when to stop with the negativity. I AM IN CONTROL! Just because I love my friends does not mean that I have to let them question me, my goals, or my actions. I know the difference between right and wrong and I know what it takes to be happy. I am no longer a victim of the past or a victim of circumstance. This is my life and I am living it to the fullest. Through God, my dreams will come true.

Do I need to explain what this has to do with working out and bodybuilding? Well, I read a lot of blogs. I see how some people are have bad days and how people have not done what they needed to do. I see people who write about being angry at themselves or the people around them. Put that energy into making today better. Put that energy into your workouts. Think about every comment that you write- is it a positive one or a negative one. Will you change today or will your negative state of mind keep you on a downward spiral? Do not live your life as a victim- conquer the iron. I will do the same!

Here is a link to my Beachbody video: http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1842760171/bclid10518179001/bctid10383154001  For me, it was hard to talk about the past. My past no longer influences me, but sometimes I am asked to talk about it (like when I win $1,000). For anyone who dwells on the past, please don't. It is what you do today that matters- so go workout! Live for today and enjoy every minute of it! 

I am happy with my progress right now. Overall, everything is good. My trainer has me working hard and I love every minute of it. I do not feel overwhelmed at all. I am taking one day at a time.

I have used N.O.-Xplode for about a year. I have developed a tolerance to it. Lately, I have been experiencing a big crash during my workouts. I am using Shock Therapy for a while and this is my comparison of the two.

As I approach my one-year anniversary of this journey, I look back with great joy. My body can do great things in just one year. I am unrecognizable to the people that once new me in the past. I am still me, but a much better version. I am a happy woman, mother, and soul. I say “soul” because I have found inner happiness within myself.

Is lifting a weight about changing your appearance? Yes. It is also about changing so much more though. Every time I find the strength to push the weight harder, I find more inner strength within myself. I have grown on the inside as my body has shed pounds on the outside. Ironic, right?

Today, I continue the growth. I am learning about the ego, forgiveness, materialism, complaints, etc. With each day, I try to find new ways to learn about people, life, situations, and myself. Listening to audio books while I work is a great way to fit in my “therapy”. Can you tell which audio book I am listening to while I am working? As I become more involved in working on my body, I do not want to lose track of my inner self. I want to be a balanced, well-rounded woman, giving my all to every aspect of my life. As my inner strength grows, my confidence will grow too- that will take me so far when I get on stage this fall!

Today I bought a dip belt and some new lifting gloves! Oh, the excitement!   My body weight is not enough for me when I do pull-ups and chin-ups anymore. I have been attaching dumbbells to myself in a comical way lately to get the job done. It works, but the dip belt will be much easier to handle. How did I do pull-ups when I was 50 pounds heavier though? Ouch!

I have some new equipment headed my way. I am most excited about the Powertec rack that I have ordered- it will go great with the Powertec bench that my guy bought me. I can’t wait to get my garage all set up. I am installing a rubber floor this weekend. I also need to put together the leg attachment on my bench. I will be busy to say the least! I have a feeling my patience will be tested quite a bit- having a toddler run around while I am trying to do stuff like that makes for an interesting scenario.

My nutrition has been good. I am still on a tuna kick. I love my tuna, loaded with hot sauce and black pepper. I have been trying to add more variety into my meal plan and that is going okay. All in all, things are pretty good!

P90X/P90X+ paid off in so many ways. Not only did I get in shape, but I won $1,000 from Beachbody. Dave0928 told me that I should enter the contest so I finally gave it a shot (thank you, Dave). I am a Beachbody December Success Story! Yippee!!!!!

Now, I get to go buy some equipment for my home gym. On top of all of this, my guy bought me a Powertec bench (he is the best)! Things are on a roll for 2009. I am so grateful for all the blessings in my life! 

Happy New Year everyone! This week has been a week of change for me. After doing P90X/P90X+ for so long my body had grown accustomed to it. I have now moved from doing my workouts in my living room to my garage. It was a comfortable 53 degrees in there tonight. I say comfortable because it felt good! I am seeing that this week is an adjustment period for me. I have to get used to my new routine and new atmosphere. I am pushing hard, but I do feel a little weak. My body really welcomes these changes! By next week, I am sure I will be acclimated to the garage setting and my new schedule.

My nutrition has been great this week! It has been a bit weird, but great. I have had the taste for tuna each morning. I load it with pepper and garlic, which is great for waking up my senses!

As far as my overall health, I went to Duke on Tuesday to see my neurologist. I only had 7 migraines in December. I know that may seem like a lot, but it is not for me. I am headed in the right direction. I don’t have to go back for 6 months and my medication did not get increased. Yippee!

It looks like 2009 is going to be an awesome year!!

My dad finally gave me pictures of me at my heaviest weight. This was taken just a few months before I got pregnant, while I was on vacation in Lake Tahoe (fall 2005). I weighed around 252 pounds in this picture. My before picture in the progress section is from August 2007 (I probably weighed around 200 or so then).

Once I got pregnant with my daughter my life changed. I am very thankful for my daughter and this new lifestyle that I have a deep passion for!

Happy Holidays to everyone! My training is going well. I have a trainer now and I am hopefully on track to grow some serious muscle. He is helping me out a lot and I appreciate it! The hardest part is the diet. I have relied on shakes for so long as my main source of protein. I am cutting those out now and eating chicken. As of the past three days I have included tuna. I actually like the tuna just as much as the chicken. I have cut back on the number of workouts I do each week. Mentally, that is hard for me. I found myself doing a major detailed cleaning of my house yesterday because I was so bored while my daughter slept. As a former fat girl, working out has kept me occupied (not to mention I absolutely love it). When my daughter takes her nap I work out. When she goes to bed, I work out. Before she wakes up, I work out. Now…I feel a bit lethargic. I know that my trainer knows best so I must follow the schedule he has put me on, but the former fat girl lurks in my head saying she could come back if I sit still too long. I guess my house will be the cleanest around as a result of this new schedule! It is nice to finally see good gains on the scale though. I owe that to my trainer! He has worked wonders in just a short period of time. He obviously knows his stuff because this new nutrition plan and workout schedule is working!

Anyway, today I did cardio. Cardio relaxes me and I really enjoy it (I used to hate it). This morning I was a little sad so it helped get me out of my funk! My guy had to go on a business trip, but he will be back in a few days. He is the sweetest, most wonderful guy in the world so I will miss him while he is gone. I don’t see him much lately because he works so hard, but it is different because he is not close by. He should be back in time for my birthday though. I am happy about turning 30 on Wednesday! I enjoy every bit of life and I have awesome goals. Things are really looking great for the next decade! I am lucky to have such wonderful people in my life and my biggest goal for 2009 will be to compete.

Well, I wish everyone a wonderful Christmas!