kellifromkeller’s BodyBlog

and ticked at myself… I literally have not had a good workout in IDK how long. I pretty much gave up lifting after my back and shoulder started hurting back in July and I haven’t had a good cardio session since close to then either.

Back in July my back started hurting, so I went to Neuro Surgeon I know to get some advice. Well I told him about my upper back pain, the tingling and warmth up and down my arm into my fingers, the fireworks that shoot off in my back, and that my triceps felt like I had pulled them every time I bent my arm. He took a look of some MRI’s of the upper part of my spine and basically said well these don’t show anything is wrong with your back. So he manipulated my shoulder around and asked if that hurt. Well it hadn’t until he moved it a certain way, but he told me he thought I had a torn AC ligament (just fantastic) that may be contributing to my back pain. So he sends more to a pain management specialist, who for some reason doesn’t give a hoot about my shoulder and just writes me a script for back physical therapy and tells me to go get an epidural steroid injection (which I wasn’t too keen on, but did anyways). The doctor who gave me that gave me a cortisone shot into my shoulder as well. Neither helped my pain, so I was written an order to have a shoulder MRI done and an EMG done (EMG’s are done to test nerve damage and to test for carpal tunnel). The MRI showed swelling around my AC ligament but without a dye test MRI couldn’t really test much more (this I didn’t know until yesterday, glad my doctors are keeping me in the loop) and the EMG showed absolutely nothing. So I continue PT but it wasn’t helping my back and no one seemed to care about my shoulder so I just quit and I looked for new doctors. Well yesterday I finally had an appointment (8 months or more after my original pain) and this doctor tells me I can’t see anything wrong with your back it could just be muscle spasms so he gave me another cortisone shot into the main trigger point that causes my problems (hasn’t helped so far, but maybe in a few days the muscle will not be inflamed anymore) and ordered a dye MRI of my shoulder. So we will see what that shows. So after 5 doctors or more everyone says I’m unfixable because all the doctors have pretty much said I am not broken, yet I still have fireworks shooting off above my shoulder blade and I have a constant feeling of my hand falling asleep. Which the doctor yesterday told me, "just happens and I may just have to deal with it forever" (I’m freaking 22 and plan on having 60 or so good years left).

Anyways, the point of that big long speel is to express why I haven’t worked out in so long. Which caused me to gain about 20 pounds from not eating clean, stress, immobility and near depression from being injured. So yesterday I decide I am really gonna get up and work out! (which is my plan every day but I have just been so unmotivated) So I get up and decide I am just gonna workout in my room instead of going to the rec. So I pick up a pair of 12 lb dumbbells (which was way too light for me 8 months ago) and can’t do a thing, so I try my tens, again can’t do a thing, so I have to settle for a pair of 5’s which really just saddens me because I was using 25’s just last year, and my strength is so wimpy now. but I get in an okay workout before class with the 5’s anyways. Then I try to do some kickboxing, well it’s been so long since I have done cardio that the 20 min kickboxing video nearly just kills me. So now its like I am starting over, working back up to an hr of cardio, heavier weights, greater strength and greater endurance. I have decided that since "nothing is wrong with my back" I don’t care about not lifting or injuring myself further and maybe I will strain it to where someone can actually figure out whats wrong. The shoulder is sore today but it felt good to lift and move it around, so until I am told not to use it I will continue to work that out for now. But those 5 pounds just made me so sad! The good news is, I have lost 15 of those 20 pounds I gained from eating clean for the past month and doing this stair workout I made up (switching flights of wide stance squats and one legged squats down the six flights of stairs from my office and lunging, walking backwards and running back up and doing this six times a work day). I wish it would come off faster but at least its coming off I suppose, I wish I was back to my original starting point already though; that and the little endurance and strength I have now just frustrate and disappoint me…

I don’t freaking understand it… My roommate came home the other night (which is the soul inspiration for this post) and is telling me how shes going to lose weight (this is great that she wants to slim up, obesity runs in her family and it will help her in the long run… but just wait)yada yada yada yada… she begins to tell me how shes on the atkins diet (whatever not even going to get in to that because I don’t like crash diets). and then she proceeds to tell me about all the cardio she is going to do, and I am like “thats great, now what about strength training“… and she just looked at me… and then finally she goes “well I was told that cardio is the best way to get in shape.” So I’m like, “Well, Cardio will help but you need a good mix at both”… this is the reply I got “Well, I talked to all (you know all 20-30 they have on staff) the personal trainers at LA fitness and they said I should just do cardio because if I lift weights I will just be replacing my fat with muscle and I will be the same size” WHAT. THE. HELL??? I just stared at her, luckily we were at a red light. Now, no offense to the PT’s at this particular LA Fitness… But if thats what they really told her that 6 bux a session they are getting is really inspiring them to give out good advice… IDK any personal trainer that would say you just need to do cardio. Now, I’m sure that’s not what they told but still.. REALLY? I was just dumbfounded… so I begin to tell her all the pros of lifting weights and how it helps you get lean and stay lean… and she goes… Well I will do it everyonce in a while, like once a month!!!! *GASP*   again… WHAT. THE. HELL. How misguided she is and of course she wont listen to me because she’s already heard what she wants to be told. I just do not understand the fear of lifting weights that girls tend to have… none of us are going to look like arnold by picking up some 5 or 10 pound dumbbells… and there’s plenty of literature out there that prove how it promotes weight loss… I just don’t get it!!!
Sooo now I am on a mission to prove a point… I am going work my little heart out and reach my goals by Jan, and when she asks how come you’re even smaller than you already were I am going to be like… “Oh well I lift weights…”

I am turning over a new leaf… I am done with starchy carbs except for one day a week… broccoli here and romaine lettuce here I come!!!! I have got to to get up and work out on school days (I have been sleeping in too much lately and putting my work out off until  the evening and if I get up I can do it twice…) I found my heart rate monitor and I’ve got a floorspace cleared off in my room so I can kick box!!!  As soon as my back and shoulder gets used to it I will start kickboxing with weights! and of course lifting prolly 4 times a week! I am really determined to prove my point and will pretty much do whatever it takes!!

As I’m driving home from work today I look down at my arms and I can see more definition in my triceps and biceps when I’m not flexing them and my arms are definitely getting smaller! YAY!!!! Now if only my abs and thighs would follow suit!!! workin out six days aweek is definitely paying off!!! Legs tonight, arms tomorrow, legs again on Friday, rest on Saturday and full body on Sunday!!!

Once again I walk into the office to find nothing but junk food and a text on my phone from my mother saying I saved some of the new flavor from bluebell, its in the freezer. So it’s six in the morning and I’ve got my cheerios, but my tongue is dying to try this new flavor, so I go and get it out, Thank God this has chocolate syrup swirled in it, because if it didn’t, cake batter ice cream would be my meals all day long. So I put the icecream back, only to see that we have homemade vanilla ice cream in the freezer too… Okay, now really, why do we need huge tubs of ice cream at the office? Whoever brought that needs to take it home. We also need to get rid of the soda here, because every day I have to look at a two fridge drawers filled with coke and I really want one of those dang cokes… There’s also some potatos and steamed veggies in the fridge from the drug rep lunch yesterday (I hate drup rep lunch days) but I know that both the potatoes and veggies are made with tons of butter and would not be good to keep me going through out the day…

 Anyways, I feel much more energized today for some reason, 4:30 didn’t seem so early this morning.

My work outs are going great this week I haven’t missed a day from being too tired or sick. DOMS is starting to kick in with my legs though, I hope it subsides by tonight, because tonight is another leg day! My favorite!

So I walk into the office right before 6 this morning a little more chipper than usual from an unusual 6 and a half hrs of sleep, only to find a tray full of boston market brownies courtesy of the drug reps, a whole box full of corn bread, and a plate full of cake. A little shocked from the sugar coma that must have happened to my coworkers yesterday, I open the fridge to put my milk in and find Boston Market mashed potatos and some sort of buffalo chicken tenders. WTF?!?! Here I am with my cheerios, milk, brocolli and grilled chicken trying to be healthy and my office kitchen is a breeding ground for sugar and fat. So I have to sit here by myself for three hours with all of my favorite foods sitting on the counter and I can’t touch a single one. What a depressing way to start the day.

and its driving me crazy… I get so busy that I forget to slow down to eat. It doesn’t help that I have different schedules each day of the week. I start out good at work. I eat my meal at six, whatever it ma be then I am supposed to eat at work again at 9 and noon, and then at home at 3 at six. I get my first meal off to a good start and then I’m not hungry till way past nine and so my 9 meal is forgotten and my noon meal runs around. then I get home from work and I’ve been up since 430 so I am tired and I take a nap forgetting my three oclock meal. On class days its even harder, especially on thursday when I have my three hr class and it messes up the whole plan I have set (my teacher doesn’t like people to eat in class). The thing that is driving me crazy the most is just that if I’m not hungry I forget to eat. I even have an alarm set!!! and that doesn’t help… I’m not really sure what to do.

on a not ranting note, I think Ivanka Trump is one of the prettiest women in the world. Shes not stick thin, and shes a classic kind of beautiful, shes smart and she seems super nice, too!! She’s never out getting in trouble like other celebutaunts… She seems like a pretty good role model. I want to meet her someday.

In dallas? In March??? and it was 70 yesterday? WTF??????? and it was REAL snow, not sleet!!! Well it sleeted at first but then it was big flakes, that came down heavy for a few hours… there’s like 8 inches on top of the cars and about 5 that stuck on the ground… I want my warm weather back!!!!!!
it has totally ruined my work out plans today, I wanted to go roller blading

well at least school was canceled

ugh I am so ready for school to be out!!! I’ts really draggin me down… I have no energy or time to work out!!! When I get home from school or work all I want to do is sleep… and then I have to wake up and study for finals next week! what a pain in my ass… and work has me super busy with working 45 hours a week between my two jobs, on top of my 18 hrs of courses. I have not been motivated at all lately…The only thing that motivates me to keep eating clean are the ladies at work, because I do not want to be 200 + pounds like they are… But not being able to work out is driving me crazy!!! I need to be in the gym six days a week, I went into do legs on tuesday and my knee was killing me. I need to go to the doctor but I just don’t have time. My knee has been affecting my leg days and my cardio workouts so all I have been doing is arms when I feel awake, which hasn’t been very often… it’s really pissing me off. I will be glad to have 5 weeks off from school starting a week from today.

Ok it is time to get back on track from Thanksgiving!!! Yesterday I did pretty good but had boston market and I needed to up to protein… and I will need to up to protein from today because I definitely left my shake mix at home. Is it okay to large amounts of protein in one setting? like twice what I am used to so that it balances out, or should I just wait till tomorrow to get back on track with the protein?

So I think I am going to do a 45/35/20 split between protein, carbs and fats out of a 1200 ish cal diet. I know that is low, but I really want to lean out and get smaller size wise (not muscle wise, thats why there’s more protein). SO if I do this split between five meals a day would make my meal break ups of 27 g of protein, 21 g of carbs, and 5 g of fat per meal for a total of 135 g of protein, 105 g of carbs, and 25 g of fat a day and of course 8 glasses or more of water a day… this is easy for me on MWF because at work I make sure to drink 8 oz/hr,a nd its easy because I just sit at a desk all day and keep track but on the other days I am always on the go and forget :-/.

and then for work outs: 6 days of 30-45 minute cardio (walk/running combos, kickboxing videos, Gilad videos, cathe videos or anything else that gets my heart rate up), 5 strength training/ felxibilty days; 2 for upper body, two for lower body and one pilates/yoga day

Ugh Thanksgiving definitely knocked me off wagon…. or maybe it was that ready to bake cookie dough in the freezer :-/ lol. The days following Thanksgiving weren’t any better. Left overs and then pizza on Sunday. And of course I refuse to throw away food, so to get rid of it I just eat large amounts of it in a few settings. So yesterday I had pizza fro breakfast, snack and lunch. And then chipotle for dinner, not the best… But today I am getting back on track!!!! Eating oatmeal and protein shake for breakfast, some pineapple for a snack during class. The protein for my snack will have to be made up for later today though I have no way to prepare it on campus and water is TWO BUCKS!!!!! I’m a poor college student I can’t afrd a two dollar bottle of water. And for dinner I will probably have a turkey sandwich for "lunch" and then grilled chicken, brocoli and rice.

My work outs have been sucking lately too. I have done no cardio in a while because my knee has been killing me and of course that means no leg days as well. But as of today I don’t care what my knee feels like. I am not skipping cardio or leg days!!!

My plan is to keep to this until December 22, that’s when my family is doing our Christmas dinner, and then after that I will try to just limit myself to turkey and veggies at my boyfriend’s family dinners… I hope I can stick with it, especially when I go to California on the 13th!!!!