Glen’s BUFF Blog

How does a man accomplish his goals?  What stands in his way? Can a man get past his self and accomplish the things he truly wants?  

I am a strong, confident, intelligent, and driven person.  I am young, ignorant, lazy, and oppressed.  My strength is found solely on the inside.  It is noticeable in small ways through gesture or action but in most cases is inhibited by fear.  This strength is fueled by my desires, wants, and passions in life. It is somewhere in between my desire to accomplish something and it’s attempt to execute itself outside of my self that obstacles rule.  Also, in turn I find that my own self becomes an obstacle.  

My long standing goal is to be a bodybuilder.  I love the feeling of being in the gym and doing something productive and healthy.  I love the environment nearly as much as I fear it.  I love to feel the pump and gain the confidence to someday take my shirt off knowing i worked hard for admiration received.  The inner teenager wants to look good, be shallow, and attract people.  It undoubtedly seems that the shallow goals tend to be the hardest of all to achieve.

I recently  moved to Chicago for school and the gym in my building is not necessarily up to par.  I go to a private college and cannot afford to buy a gym membership.  I don’t have the proper knowledge despite my efforts to develop a proper lifting program for growth and stick to it.  I cannot seem to find a lifting partner to help me at this goal.  I eat properly for four days then break on the fifth and head downhill.   I claim that because I am sore I cannot lift because I will injure myself.  Why is it these petty excuses that whine out of my mind prevent me from accomplishing what I want?

I have been to the gym 3x this week (sunday, monday, tuesday) and I am incredibly sore.  My free trial week long membership to a gym is up at the end of the week.  I will have to revert back to the little gym in my building.  Why is it I find so much to whine about and in turn prevent myself from just getting my ass to the gym?  My attempts to curve my negative nature seem to fail time and time again and yet help me at times.  

How can I make gains towards something I really do want when I find such  mental adversity?  Do I feel that because I am a gay male I cannot live up to the standards of sorts?  Is asking that question totally ridiculous?  Why do I feel intimidated by something that isn’t even judging me in the first place?  Why can’t I find a lifting partner to help me learn and grow as a bodybuilder?  Why am I typing my inner loser bodybuilding feelings on an online blog to people I don’t even know?  

That is all for now….

Please comment!

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do"

-Benjamin Franklin

G