A Little Glimpse of My Life

While in DC for a figure competition over the weekend, I had the opportunity to work with photographer John Atherton, aka Coach A or Dr. Atherton. I thought I was going there simply for a photoshoot and an interview for a future issue of Natural Muscle Magazine, but what I left with superseded any expectations I had. Prior to shooting, Coach A and I chatted and looked through his portfolio in his office. It was then I found out he was a retired preacher and had a Doctor of Philosophy in theology and several thousand hours in counseling. He has also been responsible for training many ladies in “tri fitness” competitions such as Mocha Lee, Sha’nay Norvell (from American Gladiators). He has worked as a high school educator and athletic coach as well. During our discussion I asked coach to pray for certain areas in my life in which I am struggling, learning, and growing. I left it at that and we went to shoot.
Coach A has the name “coach” for that very reason. He not only shot images, but assisted, commented, and critiqued the entire shoot on body position, lighting, shadows, facial expressions, contours, and almost anything else that can help a model bring out her best features. So as I smiled, leaped, posed, and contorted my body, coach showed me the images as we went and I was highly impressed. I told him, “Dang, you’re good. You really bring out the best in me. I’ve never had so many good facial expressions!” Six outfits later we were done and reviewing some of the images. Coach keeps a well worn Bible on his desk in visible sight. The entire time we spoke before and after the shoot he fiddled with the Bible on his desk, moving it, and thumbing its edges. He then picks up his Bible, thumps it in front of me, and says, “Read 1John 1: 1-10…..outloud!”  I must have had a look of surprise on my face because he stated, “When you asked me to pray for you in specific areas of your life, I started thinking…..so read the verses.” As we discussed the verses, and chatted further I could see that my photoshoot had turned into an opportunity for learning, growth, and fellowship.
When I initially began emailing Coach A back in January I told him about a series my pastor was preaching on in Bible Study and Coach gladly asked for more details about the series. I should have known then. This weekend was never about a photo shoot or a competition. It was about opportunity…..God’s opportunity. In my opinion God places us in the exact situations and circumstances that we need to be in for that moment of our lives. Good or bad comfortable or uncomfortable, that’s what He does. I’ll spare you all the details, but I walked away from that experience with so much more than a portfolio of pictures. I walked away with more knowledge, encouragement, and a new friend in Christ…….and that was worth more than any photoshoot or show placing could ever be!    
Here is one of the images from the shoot…..I call it “Jumping for Joy!”

Check out more of his work at: www.jwathertonphotography.com

As a mental health professional, I was pretty disappointed when I saw a segment on “The Early Show” this morning called “Speed Shrink.” The concept is that people line up at restaurants or cafes to receive 3-minute therapy by a psychologist, therapist, or clinician. They interview people who participated and they stated feeling better about talking to a complete stranger for a brief period of time within earshot of others. It didn’t state the costs, but knowing the importance of mental health I was so disappointed to see that even therapy is succumbing to society’s “quick fix” desires. Ummmmm can someone PLEASE help me understand this? I get that the environment is very relaxed and non-threatening, but what about confidentiality? I’m also thinking what happens if an issue is brought up and immediately skipped over? Can you say “Pandora’s Box?” I am hoping that these “speed sessions” are just a way to help people open up and eventually seek a longer term assistance. I don’t know about you, but I’m not feeling bearing my soul for 3-quick minutes and then it is over….. like it is an amusement park ride or something….:)   

PLEASE don’t forget to vote for me (JUMPER11) daily at the link below.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm

Sorry I’ve been M-I-A for a while….but I’ve had limited access to the internet….and it is killing me. Oh what have I become? A blogging junkie?? You betcha! I just want to post my thoughts over the past few days. PLEASE feel free to comment as you see fit.

1) Serena Williams…..WHY?? I know we can all get passionate about what we do, but dang….she ripped that poor lady a new one. I’m glad she was able to apologize for her actions afterward….even though it really wasn’t a foot fault.

2) Will someone who personally knows Kanye West please refer him to my “Mental Health Segement” blog from a few weeks ago. Seriously, that is a clear demonstration of a person with true talent who “appears” to have it all, but is just hanging on by a thread. I do commend his apology to Taylor and truly hope he does take time off and get the help that he says he needs.

3) Beyonce……class at it’s finest. Beauty, grace, and elegance defined. Hi-five to her!  

4) Someone please help me understand WHY the Biggest Loser thought it was smart to have OUT OF SHAPE PEOPLE run a mile. C’mon now…..If they keep that up they are about to start having to show clips of that show on the other show titled, “When Good Times Go Bad”. Not a smart move Biggest Loser….even if it was for TV ratings. These are people’s lives here!

5) And maybe I’m a bit biased, but can someone please explain the fascination with that show. In myopinion it is not TRUE HEALTH b/c these people are wisked away to “fat camps” for months and are workingout 10-12 hours a day…..does Dexter Jackson or Jay Cutler even workout that much in prepping for the Olympia? LOL. The contestants have trainers and doctors readily available and then everyone gets all excited when they lose 10lbs…..well if I were in “perfect conditions” such as those I SHOULD be losing 10lbs, so what’s the big deal? Maybe it is just the mindset that someone is worse off that people find comforting??? IDK. Someone please offer their insight on this b/c I just don’t get it. I feel like it just gives people who struggle with weight loss a false sense of what is attainable…….your thoughts?

PLEASE don’t forget to vote for me (JUMPER11) daily at the link below.

http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm

…..Ahhh-haaaa! SIKE!!! I bet that got your attention didn’t it!?!?

I just wanted to take a minute to give a GENUINELY HUGE HEARTFELT THANKS to Bodyspace and all the members for being so supportive of each other. This is one of the few sites where people can agree and disagree in a respectful manner, while also offering support encouragement, and motivation for one another.

I want to thank everyone who has posted on my blogs, page, forums posts, and messaged me personally. Alot of your responses take time and require thought and I am so thankful to be able to interact with you all (many of you daily) and learn so much from you through this site. Cocoa, Sbogard, Dobee, Booshnoogs, Sixthsense, Airharp, Wayne, Athlete, Renew, Joojnla, Gypsie…….KC, Muscial Wonder, Lex, Wishful, Sheena, Damien, Ant, Xnewsome, Fitsexycougar, XXX666, Musculitosnord, Itrane, Hebrews…..and so many others. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

This is what living a healthy lifestyle is truly about…..sharing, teaching, and helping others achieve it because what good is knowledge if you keep it to yourself. It’s power when it’s shared and utilized by others for personal growth. Anyway…thanks for the laughs and good times my fellow BODYSPACERS!! Hopefully I’ll get a chance to meet some of you at the Olympia.

BLESSINGS, LAURA BAILEY

And don’t foget to vote either…LOL:

http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm

It was 3am and I was frustrated because I couldn’t sleep, I turned on the TV in dismay and came across a random show about various people in America. What followed after watching the last 30 minutes of the 2hr program was a person filled with gratitude for EVERY good and bad thing that life has blessed me with. Please watch the first few minutes of the 10min clip about Erik Weihenmayer and then ask yourself what do you see when you wake up every day and how do you handle adversity? (click on the name below to start the clip)

Erik Weihenmayer

PLEASE don’t forget to vote for me today. http://www.bodybuilding.com/2010-bodyspace-spokesmodel-search-women.htm . Thanks!  

The following needs no explanation or follow up. It is simply food for thought.  

There was a blind girl who hated herself because she was blind. She hated everyone, except her loving boyfriend. He was always there for her. She told her boyfriend, “If I could only see the world, I would marry you.” One day, someone donated a pair of eyes to her. When the bandages came off, she was able to see everything, including her boyfriend. He asked her, “Now that you can see the world, will you marry me?” The girl looked at her boyfriend and saw that he was blind. The sight of his closed eyelids shocked her.  She hadn’t expected that. The thought of looking at them the rest of her life led her to refuse to marry him. Her boyfriend left in tears and days later wrote a note to her saying: “Take good care of your eyes, my dear, for before they were yours, they were mine.”

This is how the human brain often works when our status changes. Only a very few remember what life was like before, and who was always by their side in the most painful situations.   

Life Is a Gift. Today before you say an unkind word, think of someone who can’t speak. Before you complain about the taste of your food, think of someone who has nothing to eat. Before you complain about your husband or wife, think of someone who’s crying out to GOD for a companion. Today before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven. Before whining about the distance you drive, think of someone who walks the same distance with their feet. When you are tired and complain about your job, think of the unemployed, the disabled, and those who wish they had your job. When depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and think, God gave you one more opportunity to do it again and do it right.

-Author unknown

You’ve worked hard, sacrificed countless hours, and are at the top of your game. If you’re not at the top, then you are paying your dues, putting in your time, and your moment of glory is just around the corner. So why the week long segment about “Mental Health” issues with athletes when you think you’ve obviously “got it made?” At some point, Shelley Beattie, Chris Benoit, Alexis Arguello, and Terry Long “had it made”. They looked the part, played the part, got paid for the part….and ultimately took their own lives. So why address mental health issues with athletes? I don’t care how famous, fine, fast, fit, fabulous, or freakishly big you think you may be. Without an awareness of your mental state or the capacity to manage cognitive changes in a healthy manner, ANYONE is fair game to succumbing to mental health issues. It doen’t have to be suicide, which is obviously after an illness has progressed for an extended period of time. It can start out with Binge eating, lead to Body Dysmorphic Disorder, cause Depression, and continually spiral out of control. If nothing else, I hope someone was able to gain insight from this week long segment and use it to educate and help themselves or others.    

As athletes, the world thinks we are invincible and at times we may even think that. But when reality sets in how do we deal with it? We must remember we are humans capable of victory and defeat; success and failure. It is when we neglect to understand the emotional vacillation that successes and failures bring that we often experience the most traumatic mental setbacks. Help is always available. If you need it please ask for it.      

Below is a list of well known athletes from various sports who have committed suicide.

Alexis Arguello (boxing) July ‘09

Shelley Beattie (bodybuilding) Feb’ 08

Chris Benoit (wrestling) June ‘07

Terry Long (football) June ‘05

Von Erich family (wrestling) Mike ’97, Chris ’91, Kerry ‘93

Donny Moore (baseball) July ‘89

It’s the work ethics, discipline, and skill level that make a good athlete great? It makes us unique. It makes us standout. It’s the drive that forces us to crank out that extra set, go back to the gym on our day off, or complete that extra hour of cardio. The mind of an elite athlete is not “normal” when compared to others. It cannot be or else we would not be elite we would just be average. But at what point does this mindset cause our passion to be the best to turn into potentially harmful behaviors? The 5^th segment of my mental health blog will discuss Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and its potential characteristic features in athletes.

OCD is classified as an Anxiety Disorders. It is characterized by recurrent obsessions (thoughts which cause anxiety) and/or compulsions (the actions that alleviate the anxiety). (DSM-IV). The obsessions must be time consuming (1+ hr/day) and provoke some type of anxiety, while the compulsions are the repetitive behaviors engaged in to keep the anxiety at bay. Some common obsessions (thoughts) are contamination, doubts, and order, while common compulsions (actions) include hand washing, counting, and repeating words. The easiest way to remember it is that the obsession is the thought and the compulsion is the act. (ie- someone who obsesses about contamination will repeatedly wash their hands to reduce feelings of anxiety). Obsessive-compulsive tendencies are not uncommon as, as we all have some of the traits. Maybe it’s doing a certain morning ritual that feels awkward if done out of order. Maybe it’s playing a certain set of lottery numbers on a specific week every month, or even taking a certain route to and feeling like the day just won’t go right if you deviate from that route. No big deal, right? So then how does OCD and athleticism go together?

As athletes we are very good at goal setting and doing whatever it takes to reach our desired level of success. If someone insinuates that we can’t do it, we work tirelessly until we do. We often push ourselves to the point of exhaustion, fatigue, or injury. If someone says stop, we may get angry and work that much harder. I do believe that our innate drive for success is our motivator, but at what point do we cross that fine line and consider our efforts obsessive? Is it after we have lost friendships or occupations behind our drive? Or after failed marriages? Our success and quest for greatness becomes the obsession and the ways we go about achieving them our compulsions. We want to be the best. If we are not, we can become frustrated, disappointed, angry, or aggressive. This forces us to repeatedly participate in activities that reduce the anxiety and make us feel better such as working out, practicing, etc. Viewed from this perspective it is easy to see how elite athletes are prone to obsessive-compulsive tendencies in their quest for greatness. It should not be considered alarming, rather it should make us more aware of our individual behaviors in order to develop a healthier sense of greatness that is not achieved through complete mental sacrifice. Like I stated in a previous blog, what good is greatness and success if one is too miserable to enjoy it?

www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/index.shtml

www.helpguide.org/mental/obsessive_compulsive_disorder_ocd.htm

www.aafp.org/afp/980401ap/eddy.html

Food makes the world go ‘round…..(at least that’s what we are taught). A job promotion, graduation, birthday, retirement, anniversary, holiday……we have an excuse to eat for EVERY occasion. But then society says everyone should be healthy and fit. That sounds pretty contradictory to me! So is it a wonder that so many people suffer (often in silence) from eating disorders? Athletes in particular are expected to maintain performance ready physiques and whether they win or lose, the reward or choice of comfort, is usually food. Again, contradictory. I’m assuming most have heard of Anorexia Nervosa and Bulimia Nervosa, but people typically get them confused. Hopefully this will enlighten you.

Anorexia Nervosa is the “refusal to maintain a minimally normal body weight” (APA:DSM-IV). Being underweight is the main distinguishing factor of the disorder. A person must weigh less than 85% of what’s considered “normal” based on height/weight. The loss of weight is typically achieved through dieting, fasting, excessive exercise, or binge/purge (eating and vomiting).  Bulimia Nervosa is characterized by “repeated binge eating and/or inappropriate compensatory methods to prevent weight gain” (APA: DSM-IV). Weight gain prevention is achieved by purging, misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas, fasting, or excessive exercise (often referred to as Exercise Bulimia). Both disorders sound similar. The easiest way to remember the difference between the two is that with Anorexia, a person is unable to maintain normal bodyweight. With Bulimia, a person is able to maintain normal body weight.

Depending on the sport and levels at which one must take their body to excel in competition, many characteristics of the disorders are experienced by athletes. The use of manipulated diets, enemas, and extreme exercising is common in prepping for a bodybuilding, fitness, or figure competitions. Women may also experience amenorrhea (loss of menstrual cycle) due to low body weight when doing contest prep. Some of these characteristics are also not uncommon for gymnasts or distance runners. So does that mean if you experience these symptoms you have an eating disorder? Of course not. There are several other factors that would warrant the diagnosis.

Unfortunately, due to society’s emphasis on “size” more people are dealing with the pitfalls of these disorders. LISTEN, it is not a gender specific disorder, or a socioeconomic disorder. It does not care about your race, age, or ethnicity. This is an UNFORGIVING disorder that claims more lives than any other psychological disorder. I truly believe awareness is key to prevention. My hope is that knowing and understanding some of the characteristics associated with the disorders will allow us to look at our own behaviors and attitudes regarding food and exercise and evaluate whether they are being done for healthy or unhealthy reasons. Additionally, I hope that through education we can help others who may be suffering from these disorders.      

www.edtreatmentcenters.com

www.eatingdisorders.com

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

In order to be great one must think great. Bill Gates, Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart; to these moguls failure was never an option..it was for the next man. My belief is that athletes think the same way. We train to win, not for a consolation prize. We train to be the best, not second best. We strive for perfection knowing it can never truly be attained. So what happens when perfection is not achieved? A few things can occur. We either immediately start working toward it again, dismiss the situation altogether, or deal with some type of emotional battle that can manifest into various forms of depressive states.  

A Depressive Disorder (also referred to an unipolar depression) falls under the spectrum of Mood Disorders. There are numerous symptoms associated with depressive states (ie- insomnia, lethargy, fatigue, isolation, anhedonia, guilt, suicidal thoughts, irritability, etc).  It is the paring of symptoms over specific periods of time that determine the type of depressive disorder. My point is not to display a checklist of items, as all symptoms must be considered within a contextual setting. Rather, it is to allow others to see why (in my opinion) athletes are so prone to experiencing symptoms related to depressive states.

Think of a Normal Curve. 90% of the average population falls under the normal curve, 5% below average, and the remaining 5% above average. Athletes fall within the above average 5%, as our work ethics, drive, and motivation are what allow us to exceed the norm. This means ability wise, we perform better than 95% of the entire population…….that to me is greatness! So why the depression? When we compare ourselves, we do so against others who are also within the “above average” classification and we are often forced to see ourselves as mediocre. A genius is only defined as such because others around him are average. A genius compared to Albert Einstein is just smart; he is not longer a genius. As athletes when we compare ourselves to others who are great, it levels the playing field and makes our quest for perfection much more difficult attain. In turn, this can lead to feelings of failure, sadness, unfulfillment, and ultimately to depressive states…..even though we are STILL performing better than the average person.  This is why it is so important to have other activities to help remain grounded and well-balanced. IT IS OKAY to compare ourselves to the “average” person once in a while. Although failure is not our desirable option and our quest for perfection continues, we should ask ourselves this: How much are a  few moments of perfection worth if they cost a lifetime of anguish and unhappiness?

NOTE: Obviously depression is not that simple and a true diagnosis is far more complex. But externally it is often difficult for people to understand why someone who looks as if they are in the best physical shape of their lives can be so unhappy and miserable. To these people I say don’t train to be “good”, train to be “great” and see how much of an emotional toll it takes on you.

For those who need it, I encourage you to use or share the provided links below as you see fit.

www.psychologyinfo.com/depression

www.depressiontreatmentnow.com

www.psychcentral.com

www.mayoclinic.com/health/depression/DS00175/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs