True Headlines
I’m taking a different spin on “20 Questions” this Saturday. Instead, I’m sharing true news headlines that were actually printed in various papers. I apologize in advance if anyone finds these offensive. I thought most of them were funny and I just needed a good laugh today! Enjoy.
- Grandmother of eight makes hole in one
- Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
- Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
- House passes gas tax onto senate
- Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
- Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted
- Quarter of a million Chinese live on water
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Iraqi head seeks arms
- Queen Mary having bottom scraped
- Is there a ring of debris around Uranus?
- Prostitutes appeal to Pope
- Panda mating fails - veterinarian takes over
- NJ judge to rule on nude beach
- Child’s stool great for use in garden
- Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
- Eye drops off shelf
- Squad helps dog bite victim
- Dealers will hear car talk at noon
- Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
- Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests
- Miners refuse to work after death
- Two Soviet ships collide - one dies
- Never withhold herpes from loved one
- Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy
- Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter
- Child’s death ruins couple’s holiday
- Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn’t seen in years
- Man is fatally slain
- Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
Source: http://funnies.paco.to/Headlines.html
November 7, 2009 at 12:06 pm
Yeah it’s funny, but Lora I prefer the 20 questions cause it’s a little more personal. This a glimpse into "your" life. Right?
November 8, 2009 at 12:14 am
This what, just what I needed to start out my day, thanks
November 8, 2009 at 7:34 am
XNEWSOME: Yeah, I like 20 questions too, but I can’t do the same thing all the time….it’s too predictable! "Predictability" is not me!!
Not to worry though, "20 Questions" will return my friend. These were just funny and I needed a good laugh! 
November 8, 2009 at 7:35 am
CRZYHORSE: Thanks!
November 9, 2009 at 8:24 am
Gotta love a parent that calls off their vacation because their stupid shild decides to die…LOL
November 9, 2009 at 8:39 am
Eye drops off shelf.. wtf?? lol! HA
November 9, 2009 at 7:35 pm
WAYNE: I suppose not everyone should become a parent, huh?? Darn kids just ruined the holiday!
LOL.
November 9, 2009 at 7:36 pm
KC: Isn’t that crazy! Some of them were hillarious…well, at least I thought they were!
November 13, 2009 at 7:40 pm
LOL These are good ones..I personally found Never withhold herpes from loved one fantastic! hehe
November 13, 2009 at 11:00 pm
FITDIVA: I found these headlines at 1am after downing about 4 cups of coffee and buring the midnight oil. Maybe that is why there so funny to me at the time…..but I still think they are hillarious. I couldn’t figure out which one I liked the best.