Jul’s Journey

Well, I know I said I was going to wait until the second week of Dec. but I have decided to do a non-carb load diet for the next 3 weeks till I start the carb load diet…. lol!! The truth of the matter is, the last few months have been devastatingly hard on my mind and my desire to sooth with food has been higher than my desire to transform.

This is it though, time to stop having fun with bread and chocolate… so, today… day one, m,y scale said 142. WOW! 5 weeks ago it was 136…a pound a week…

I am soooooo excited though!! My shoulders and arms are really showing the amount of muscle I have put on this last year. I hardly recognize my shoulders anymore and I can not wait to see what they look like when they are stripped back a bit… my legs and hammies….this is going to be interesting too. heh, heh…. lets hope I have some!!

In the end, I am just thankful that I am healthy enough to put my body through this type of training and that once i am done with this, I can look back and say I did it….

Here we go!! clean eating day #1!!!

Alrighty…. I guess it is time to set the next goal…. guess it is time to see if I have gained sufficient muscle over the last year or so to lean down and get on stage. So, as of the second week of Dec. I begin my diet for an April comp. to be followed up by one in May.  After that…. new plan… still not sure what that will be, but I look forward to giving it my all.

In this last year, I have learned so much about my patterns. My hope is to take that knowledge and to finally get myself in the shape I KNOW i can acheive. So…. for now, I am doing cardio a few times a week, eating mostly clean and giving my muscles a bit of a break with some circuit training. One more week of that or maybe two and then i get to work.  and I have to say… I am very excited!!!

hope you are all well…

Here I am she shouted from the pit of frustration! Her voice seemed small, but as she worked tirelessly to climb out she found her voice getting stronger….

So, I am a little dirty from climbing through all the muck….and there is stilll much muck to get through, but I am here to say that I believe trials will refine us. My focus has been on things that matter most….my children, my relationship with God and my friends and family… Instead of fitting my life around my workouts and diet, I have repatterned my way of living to make my love of fitness to fit around my life… and I have to say, I am much happier now.

I also would be remiss in saying that when you are on this site daily you become desensitized to the garbage on it…(the constant slimy men hitting on you, the glamourization of the body, and the lack of indescretion…) I have had to even look at my pics and ask what message I am sending people…. I want to feel attractive and fit, but not at the expense of having people think I am glorifying my body above all things.  In life…I want people to see me… not my outside…. my outside, no matter how hard I work at it, will fade away and probably never be what I want it to be… but my inside… that is what makes me… me….. so my goal this time around is to make sure that people see me…. the real me.