feeling deflated
okay…. i don’t even know how to start this… i am upset…i am frustrated….i am feeling like the wind has been taken out of my sails…at the same time, I want to be realistic.
I talked on the phone today with my figure coach….she questioned my desire to do this? recommended I not do ANY NPC shows as I do not have enough size…and suggested I consider whether I continue this process….
THe issues I have with this, aside from the very weighty financial committment I have put into this (training, supplements, suits, babysitters, memberships, etc.) is that if I didn’t have the desire to do this…..I wouldn’t have put myself through 20 weeks of torture…. (don’t get me wrong, I love it….) but I don’t like not eating out with my friends and family, not being able to eat a pb&j when I desire it and beating myself up for licking the knife with peanutbutter on it…… I HAVE NOT EATEN CHEEZE-ITS FOR 16 WEEKS. to people who know me….they understand that sacrifice…. I have been getting up at 5 am…. doing cardio and trying to do cardio at the end of the day before bed for what seems like forever…. NO DESIRE??? NEW GOALS???
Its not like I expect to win the competition….would just prefer not to be last…..okay….so I have some choices…
1) I can bail and take a soak in a bathtub full of cheezeits!!!!
2) I can keep on trying and do a natural show instead of an NPC show for my first go at it
3)I can go back to the drawing board…and try to gain more muscle and try another show next spring….
4) forget her and just stay with the plan…..
or sit and cry…..
August 29, 2007 at 9:41 am
I would say stick with the plan. You had a goal to compete, finish it. Who cares how you finish. You will have the experience under your belt and know how to prepare next time. Just my two cents. =) Good luck with whatever you decide.
August 29, 2007 at 12:33 pm
I say do it. You have to go through at least once to know what to expect. You will get a feel for the process and know what they are looking for. You will also get constructive critism that will help you win the next times around. Reach for the stars.
August 29, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Ok Jules, here is the reality. Looking at your pics you have come a long long way. You have won a battle a lot of people are wishing and dreaming about. Heck, you look damn good. Having said that, your coach has experience and probably knows what she is talking about. If you can stand criticism and it will help you work harder, then stick to the plan. if you will feel totally embarassed back stage with all the other cut women and God forbid the judges are harsh, then pick another date. No need to torture yourself.
In the long run you haven’t wasted your efforts. You can only get better. your suit isn’t going to rot and unless you were planning to eat rounds and rounds of donuts after the show to put back on the weight, then you have just spent valuable time and babysitter money to get you to your 3/4 mark or whatever mark you are at. You are going to do this…no doubt about that, it’s just a matter of when.