As a personal trainer, I’ve witnessed first hand the irony of our society and how we seem to idolize fit people, placing beautiful people on pedestals and worshiping those who fit the ideal image. But unknowingly sabotage any efforts of those close to us from making any attempt to be that ideal. Or worse yet, ostracize them because of jealousy or inability to accept even their change.
I remember a few years back, I was chatting with a fellow Ms. Bikini America competitor. She was seemingly unhappy in general, despite her beautiful smile and sparkling blue eyes. She related to me about her "fight" to stay in shape when others around her were trying to bring her down. She mentioned that her husband would often embarass her in front of family & friends when she refused to take part in unhealthy eating, criticizing her then try to force pizza and beer on her.
I felt her frustration in equal parts as a fitness model working in the food & beverage service industry. I can’t tell you how many times people would walk by me in the casino employee dining room (EDR) and make some sort of comment on how I was eating healthy when I’m already in thin… it almost seeemed like they were offended that me and my grilled chicken breast salad with no dressing. My first figure student dealt with the same issue, but ended up giving in. Nothing I could do to encourage an 5′7′’ 100 lbs to eat healthy when everyone around her was dowing chicken wings and washing it down with beer. Oh, did I mention I worked at the Hooters Casino in Las Vegas at the time? The irony of that shittpitt was that while they encouraged girls to eat healthy, (and they did weigh-ins too) they also offered a rich array of fried foods in the EDR from 75/25 hamburgers with white buns and slabs of mayo, true Hooters chicken wings and french fries… oh yeah, grilled chicken made to order but it takes 10 minutes after you’ve waited in line 15 minutes to finally put your order in (5 minutes to eat then you’re expected on the casino floor working). Don’t get me wrong… the burgers were to die for ! ! And with fries… too bad there were no chili & cheese for the fries or chocolate shakes !
(EARTH TO JOSEPHINE…and no, I’m not dieting)
The funny thing I’ve noticed about so many people with unhealthy lifestyles is that it’s the very people closest to them that have the most impact. If it’s one thing I know, a dieter’s spouse is their biggest deal make and deal breaker ! Second, the rest of their family, then friends then co-workers. Nobody can relate to a average American dieter like the bodybuilders & competitors. Its sad that we have to literally cut ourselves off from the world, ignore friends, avoid places and all that, for the sake of removing all potential diet wreckers. No wonder why bodybuilders aren’t liked or at least seem stuck up ! I too know this. Just last month my friend and photographer Alex kept texting me to go get some drinks… at Buffalo Wild Wings. His attempt to guilt me "oh, cummon. One wing won’t hurt !" Now imagine this every day with a different friend putting the pressure on you !
Friends, as much as I love them ( and I know they mean no harm ) KILL MY DIET ! ! ! But lucky for me, my friends understand me and my goals in life and they resepct me… that’s because I tell them ! ! I can see most dieters (being unhappy with themselves, eager to be accepted and be happy) giving into the pressures of friends and not having a thick enough spine to ask them to back off !
Now for the haters… these are the ones close to you that feel threatened by your attempt to better yourself (they are either not comfortable with change, or they subconsciously fear you being better than them). I have heard about horror stories of women succeeding in their weightloss goals only to be met with jealousy, hatred, gossip and intimidation at the workplace, by the very female coworkers once close to them (and often, verbally supportive). Who in their right mind could work in an environment like that? But this is all to often a reality for many people, women as well as men.
What can you do? Well, the only thing you can honestly do is be strong. It’s honesty easier to change one person (you) than change the hundreds you come in contact with on a daily basis. And I truly don’t feel "ignoring" them helps. Nothing beats a quick slip of the lip ("fu*ck off") or an honest heart to heart chat with those unintentionally trying to sabotage you… or if all else fails, removing yourself from that environment.
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