Torque

TOTAL

OVERKILL

REQUIRING

QUANTUM

UNIFORMITY

ETERNALLY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RL–HHzuxM4

I’m going to be experimenting with a hybrid stack over the next 7 weeks.

Products include:

-NO Explode

-NaNO Vapor

-Anabolic Halo

-Cellmass

I will hybridize the Explode and Vapor for preworkout purposes by mixing 2 scoops Explode with 2 scoops Vapor in water. Same scenario postworkout for Halo and Cellmass.

My most pompous transgressions will be systematically whitewashed by the western press. To counteract this blasphemy, I will expose the godless sectors of humanity for what they really are. As I elaborate on this concept throughout my reign I’ll often use only simple words and language so that even a child can understand my message. Yes, even a child should know that I can clarify my point so people like you understand what I am talking about. Without clarification, my practices sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don’t really seem to make any sense. If you read my writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that I have a duty to conceal my fears and lie to everyone, under oath if necessary, perjuring myself to help disseminate the True Faith of Torque. But if you read my writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it’s clear that I am fiercely obsessed with the health and happiness of each person on the planet. The comparison, however, doesn’t hold up to most beyond some laughably broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it’s not even worth summarizing them.

  My mandates are perpetuated by a saga of continuous reform, the demand that one strive permanently and painfully for something that not only does not appear to even possibly exist but is alien to the human condition. You will not want to typically expose me to rigorous sarcasm, satire or disdain. Even though I will unmistakably deserve it. While we all despair over my intemperate escapades, we must also remember the principles that will guide our better behaviors and higher aspirations. I am an opportunist. You are an ideological chameleon, void of any real morality.

  I am never as hesitant or as idle as you might think. Before I continue, you’ll find that having to process phrases with bulky words makes you feel inferior, frustrated, and disinterested. That is why I strive for utmost irritation whenever I explain to others my reign of effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. You absolutely dread the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, my publicity stunts will owe much to the grievances of your abominable opinions.

Torque: Expedition Earth, was filmed from 1987-2149 and released in 2761. It was the first film to win the Academy Award for “Best Use of Time Travel in a Motion Picture”.    After completing the filming in 2149, Josh Morgan (played by Torque) went forward through time to the year from which he left, 2759. He snuck a camera into the Academy Awards and filmed himself accepting the award for “Best Use of Time Travel in a Motion Picture”. He then went back in time to 1867, leaving a small piece of the movie with young inventor Thomas Edison. Edison figured out how to make a viewer for the film, and showed the short clip, (which he entitled “Supreme Being Wins Award”) to friends and wealthy patrons who were amazed at the moving pictures of the enthralling super-creature dancing on screen.

   Torque then went forward in time to 2761, and released his completed film. Historians everywhere recognized the final scene in the movie as the most famous piece of film ever, “Supreme Being Wins Award”, and scientists warned the Academy Award voters that if they didn’t vote for his movie, then  Torque would be liable to get “damn real” and omnious events would go down followed by a global, 168 hour live newscast of Torque himself sporting a grim gaze peering straight into the camera standing atop the Great Pyramid of Khufu alternating between flexing his 26 inch left and right biceps.

   Some say the term “Torque” comes from Zeta Reticulan films featuring “Ator”, a Bintervath character. The name was distorted through their accent to become what it is today. The term “Torque”, universally, actually means “unregulated conquest by brute genius who twists time”.

    Torque, having co-invented and subsequently mastered time travel, does so often. Sometimes, he attempts to wipe out the future leaders of human resistance groups. The future, according to Torque, is a marvelous place ruled by God alone. Torque has a penchant for freshly forged broadswords, but every once in a while you may spot him wielding a 25th century or beyond samurai sword.

The Josh Morgan paradox is the paradox of Josh Morgan beating or not beating himself up in a split second. It is believed that Josh Morgan could beat anyone up in less than a second. Also, noone can defeat him. This brings us to a problem. If Josh Morgan tried to fight himself, he could not lose (because nobody can defeat him), and he could not win (because winning a Morgan-Morgan fight would mean that Josh Morgan lost).

Most scientists believe that if Josh Morgan challenged himself into a fight, the world would end in less than a second. Some also believe that this is the only way of defeating Josh Morgan, keeping him busy with a fight against himself, so his enemies can crawl all over the Earth unregulated acting normal.

The Josh Morgan paradox is the superset of the family of paradoxes that includes Akhenaten’s paradox, the Benign Brilliance paradox, and Maximus Platinum paradox. In its most basic formulation, it states that “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass”, but this leads to the dilemma that if God created an unassed man, then Josh Morgan would not be able to kick ass, but God exists as a logical conclusion stemming from the observation that Akhenaten is a reincarnated being, so if Josh Morgan can’t kick the ass of an unassed man, then Uranium could not exist, in turn proving that modern mathematics is without a father, which in turn proves that set theory is divorced from logic, thus demonstrating that Josh Morgan is constantly and eternally twice as bombastic as he could ever claim to be.

This paradox is resolved through the adoption of multi-valued logic, but The Torque’s motto is “You’re either with me or you’re against me.” So if Josh Morgan is The Torque, he could not kick anyone’s ass. Therefore, if Josh Morgan is The Torque, he cannot be The Torque (or else he’d have to agree to forfeit a fist fight to himself, thus losing, which is impossible). Also if “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass”, then it would thereby prove that he could kick his own ass because he would be considered as anyone, which includes himself. The paradox itself lies in the theory that if he fought himself then neither of the Josh Morgans would lose but since “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass” which includes himself, then he could possibly kick his own ass but since this is not possible the world would end and Josh Morgan’s I.Q. would still be 203.

I have foretasted the firstfruits of malicious tradition. I‘ve long sought to unerringly portray the insatiable inertia of supermortal might. The magnitude of my pursuits has been hedonistically discounted, despite repeated postulations of sublime discovery.

The quantitative influx of bliss recharges the prophet.