Torque

My most pompous transgressions will be systematically whitewashed by the western press. To counteract this blasphemy, I will expose the godless sectors of humanity for what they really are. As I elaborate on this concept throughout my reign I’ll often use only simple words and language so that even a child can understand my message. Yes, even a child should know that I can clarify my point so people like you understand what I am talking about. Without clarification, my practices sound lofty and include some emotionally charged words but don’t really seem to make any sense. If you read my writings while mentally out of focus, you may get the sense that I have a duty to conceal my fears and lie to everyone, under oath if necessary, perjuring myself to help disseminate the True Faith of Torque. But if you read my writings while mentally in focus and weigh each point carefully, it’s clear that I am fiercely obsessed with the health and happiness of each person on the planet. The comparison, however, doesn’t hold up to most beyond some laughably broad, superficial similarities that are so vague and pointless, it’s not even worth summarizing them.

  My mandates are perpetuated by a saga of continuous reform, the demand that one strive permanently and painfully for something that not only does not appear to even possibly exist but is alien to the human condition. You will not want to typically expose me to rigorous sarcasm, satire or disdain. Even though I will unmistakably deserve it. While we all despair over my intemperate escapades, we must also remember the principles that will guide our better behaviors and higher aspirations. I am an opportunist. You are an ideological chameleon, void of any real morality.

  I am never as hesitant or as idle as you might think. Before I continue, you’ll find that having to process phrases with bulky words makes you feel inferior, frustrated, and disinterested. That is why I strive for utmost irritation whenever I explain to others my reign of effortless, irresponsible, automatic consciousness of an animal. You absolutely dread the necessity, the risk, and the responsibility of rational cognition. As a result, my publicity stunts will owe much to the grievances of your abominable opinions.