Torque

The Josh Morgan paradox is the paradox of Josh Morgan beating or not beating himself up in a split second. It is believed that Josh Morgan could beat anyone up in less than a second. Also, noone can defeat him. This brings us to a problem. If Josh Morgan tried to fight himself, he could not lose (because nobody can defeat him), and he could not win (because winning a Morgan-Morgan fight would mean that Josh Morgan lost).

Most scientists believe that if Josh Morgan challenged himself into a fight, the world would end in less than a second. Some also believe that this is the only way of defeating Josh Morgan, keeping him busy with a fight against himself, so his enemies can crawl all over the Earth unregulated acting normal.

The Josh Morgan paradox is the superset of the family of paradoxes that includes Akhenaten’s paradox, the Benign Brilliance paradox, and Maximus Platinum paradox. In its most basic formulation, it states that “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass”, but this leads to the dilemma that if God created an unassed man, then Josh Morgan would not be able to kick ass, but God exists as a logical conclusion stemming from the observation that Akhenaten is a reincarnated being, so if Josh Morgan can’t kick the ass of an unassed man, then Uranium could not exist, in turn proving that modern mathematics is without a father, which in turn proves that set theory is divorced from logic, thus demonstrating that Josh Morgan is constantly and eternally twice as bombastic as he could ever claim to be.

This paradox is resolved through the adoption of multi-valued logic, but The Torque’s motto is “You’re either with me or you’re against me.” So if Josh Morgan is The Torque, he could not kick anyone’s ass. Therefore, if Josh Morgan is The Torque, he cannot be The Torque (or else he’d have to agree to forfeit a fist fight to himself, thus losing, which is impossible). Also if “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass”, then it would thereby prove that he could kick his own ass because he would be considered as anyone, which includes himself. The paradox itself lies in the theory that if he fought himself then neither of the Josh Morgans would lose but since “Josh Morgan can kick anyone’s ass” which includes himself, then he could possibly kick his own ass but since this is not possible the world would end and Josh Morgan’s I.Q. would still be 203.

This entry was posted on Friday, June 20th, 2008 at 5:14 pm and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.