THE AGONY!
Today was a tough one for me… well, everyday is tough, everyday I work, that is.
You see, I work at a coffee shop in a mall. A coffee shop that sells ice cream, milkshakes, cookies, bagels, pastries, bagel sandwiches with yup, you guessed it; yummy sausage, egg, cheese…CREAM CHEESE.
Here is the cherry on top of the sundae…I work for my in laws and right along side my fiance. Quitting is NOT an option, as we run a tight ship with everyone assigned to a specific shift, day in and day out.
Now, mind you I have my fair share of plain old joe with a splash of milk. Not a fan of all of the sugary lattes or frozed coffee drinks. IT’S THE DAMN MILKSHAKES! there’s always just a few ounces left in the blender…they need a happy home in my tummy. and the ice cream. do you know how hard it is to see people nearly every day indulging? These people are laughing, smiling, sharing a moment with family or whoever…these are NORMAL people. I sit on the sidelines thinking…"can’t have this…I have a show." Not to mention a gym fanatic boyfriend who monitors everything in the kiosk. He has to bury the apple fritters because he thinks I’ll eat them all. Which I might….but being told ‘NO’ makes me want it more!
Then it happens. I have a spoon of ice cream. then it’s all over! Next thing I know I’ve eaten three scoops and the moodswings begin. Fifteen minutes after consumption I become this raging lunatic sensitive to everyone and everything. I get ornary, or tired, or lazy. sometimes even depressed! almost always get a headache. i don’t understand myself. i know what it does to me, so why do I keep doing it?
between the caffeine and all the sugar I can’t keep my head on straight. i wonder if anyone else is confronted with a situation like this. I’m starting my second season of competitive figure and I have the white devil on my tail tempting me at any second!
January 31, 2008 at 7:19 pm
Heh, I haven’t experienced it myself, but I know my wife sure goes through withdrawls! The worst is that now with Girl Scout Cookie season afoot, it means soon there will be tubs of the darn stuff popping up on the frozen food endcaps. Last year she about started to cry after she just stopped in her tracks and pointed immediately commencing the pouty face. *sigh* Wish I had more words of encouragement, but at least you have your boyfriend there to try and keep tabs on things as best he can
January 31, 2008 at 8:13 pm
Oh my goodness, this made me laugh. You’re too cute. I know it’s hard. I have a hard time understanding, because I have a switch in my head where I can just turn off my desire for crap. Do what makes you happy, and not for the moment, but for the long run. If at the end of the day, you look back and smile because you ate those YUM YUMS, the chow down, but if it is regret you face, try to resist the temptation of the evil Rocky Road, and creamy delicious Cookies n cream. They are EVIL, and that is what makes them taste of so damn good. now I’m hungry
March 6, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Love your self if you dont love you Job it ok weall have to start some where jor Job is not all of who you are it these not U.
just a small part of your llife right now.
March 7, 2008 at 1:47 pm
Oh my God, did I write this? You have just made an entry that I myself could have written with change to a few details. I go through this at LEAST once or twice every 3 weeks as a try to perfect my body consistently exercising and eating clean.
So yeah, you’re most certainly not alone–it takes so much motivationk, deep contemplation, determination, etc. And you know you have it!
Just remember that you are human, and the creamy chocolate milkshake will never appear gross. =)
March 30, 2008 at 7:30 pm
I’m glad to see I’m not the only one out here sometimes binging on garbage. I have an office job, and directly next to my desk is a fully loaded snack bar, candy, chips, icecream, pizza…… Sometimes I just bottom out. 5, 6, 7 snacks later I’m left wondering why I didn’t eat the baked chicken, or the turkey chili I had made earlier that day.
Cravings suck!! Giving in is worse… I’m not satisfied after…. What’s the point. I’m the last one to give advice but I try harder and harder each time this happens. I’m always looking for new healthy snacks to keep on hand to substitute for the junk when the cravings hit.
Focus on the goals!!