2012 I rocked it out figured out how to eat and train properly. Was beginning to be the fit mom, the girl who you could always find in the gym training harder than some of the boys. It became an obsession. There was an outlet or a happy place I could go to everyday 2 hrs of interrupted "mommy time or time out" as I used to call it. But its crazy how quickly you can become unraveled. I was going through some marital crap as most people do from time to time. Only instead of fixing those problems I got more involved in the gym thang. Very bad!!!! The bigger the issues got the more I pushed myself. I loved the attention people always telling me how great I looked, even women were like damn girl I want that body. It was great for me, awful for the husband. He begged me to not go as much or to spend more time with him and the kids but no matter what I didn't listen. It wasn't until November we decided a break was the way to go. Even then that did not scare me I STILL TRAINED HARDER. People knew it was ending and I actually hated the attention I just wanted to be left alone. I hated that guys checked me out, I mean leave me alone I was going thru a breakup all I wanted to do was be alone. We managed to make it thru Christmas and the New Year, then it happened. Reality set in my gym membership ended. It was time to renew or let it go....Needless to say I let it go. I tried to work out at home but lets face it two kids, a full time job, limited time, space and equipment it was not the consistent training I had grown use to. My cheat meal became a cheat day, then lingered into 2 days and so on, I didn't work out as much. I literally tried Insanity, Jennifer's program, just doing my own thing, I tried it all. Couldn't find the motivation. My husband had actually liked me again this girl who was not running away to the gym, he liked that I would rather play with the girls then work out. So my marriage is now worth saving!!!! YAY! But I can't get motivated. I should be happy right. I should be wanting to get back in shape right. Learned a lot in the past few months about what is important. I have to balance the role of a mother, a wife, an employee and most of all I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF ME. Starting today I am making that commitment to find mommy's time out, mommy's happy place. Its working out, its pushing myself, it's eating healthier, being that role model for my girls again. I have to do this, I want to do this for me. So here goes nothing...Steve brought home P90x I am going to put that DVD in every day push play and do it! No more excuses. No more binge eating. I am better than that I don't want to be that mom who sneaks food when no one watches. Its not a good feeling and I feel bad afterwards. As I go onto other Social media sites and see friends of mine who were so popular, fit or pretty in school they let themselves go. I don't want that to be me. I am still that fit mom.....I just lost my way for a bit!