Getting Separated / Maybe divorced
OK, so I have been getting reminders from bodyblog about keeping myself current with my blog. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I have had my reasons for not keeping it up. After 8 years of marriage my wife has decided she needs space because she isn’t happy. I am of course upset by this news, it has been a long time coming if I think about it. I am not about to air all of my dirty laundry on this post, but I had to get it off my chest since it will make it more real and I am in disbelief at the moment. Trust me I understand that our life together is not everything it could be, but separating to me isn’t the answer, it just creates more problems. But I can’t stop her, so I have to let her go. 
Honestly, I am doing ok with the news. We couldn’t go on the way that we were. She was miserable and so was I. My issues with my back were only making things worse for me, my overall health was declining as well. It was a good thing that I continued to workout or I would probably have had a heart attack.. Seriously! My blood pressure was through the roof (157/98) at it’s worst. It has come back down now that I am at peace with the decisions we have made to separate. Now we just need to work out the details which I am hoping won’t get ugly. The wife has laid out her "plan" which is a little unrealistic, but I am not arguing with her about it right now, I will let the mediator/lawyer show her that info later. If I bring it up now it will not get received well. I just want to protect my emotional, Financial and physical health now. I have to look out for myself. I can’t worry about her anymore, since she doesn’t worry about me. I am getting a raw deal here, but I understand where it is coming from. The bad part is I am starting to not want to be with her at all anymore even though I acknowledge I still love her.
So I am dedicating my life to my own health and well being now. I am breaking my bad workout habits and committing myself to my "Abs by 40" goal. I have to do this for my emotional health, but more for my health in general. The back issues have improved the more I work out. Plus losing 15 lbs and 4.5 inches off my stomach helped a lot. Now I just need to keep it up. I have messed around with different workouts, but I haven’t created a plan and stuck to it. So that is next. Especially since I don’t have to take her into account anymore with my planning, which I used to do. But no more. I might just go back to my Body For Life workout schedule for a while. It is a good schedule for me, and I did my best while I was dedicated to it.
The odds are against my wife and I getting back together, the statistics say %80 of couples that separate from their marriage get divorced, but my hope is that we are in the %20 percent that work things out. Our lives together have bucked the statistics already so there might be hope.
June 23, 2008 at 10:11 am
I was right where you are last year. It SUCKS! But it gets a lot better. Training will help you get through the tougher times. In retrospect, divorce was the best thing to happen to me in a long time. I had lost who I was, and didn’t even know it. Hang in there…sometimes we have to go through the valley to get to the top of the mountain.