Joe’s BodyBlog

So I follow a very clean diet, but I have to have cheat meals! Out of the 42 (6 meals per day by 7 days) meals I eat each week, I allow myself 3-4 cheat meals. I don’t like doing all of them in one day. For me that doesn’t work, because I binge eat and cause myself more problems after my cheat day is done. So instead I work cheat meals in for 1 of my six in a day, but I try not to have them on back to back days. Every once and a while I do, but for the most part I keep them spaced apart so I don’t crave them more often. For example this week, Wednesday’s nights are golf night, so I know I will most likely drink a few beers and after golf when we go to dinner I usually will have something bad for dinner. So this past week, I had Chicken Wings at Wild Wing Cafe, and they tasted great. I of course know they are horrible for me. But I got them out of my system and I won’t eat them again in a long time.  Then on Thursday I had a little desert after my lunch (Hersey’s bar with Almonds). Again, I got it out of my system, I won’t have anything like that for weeks now. It is a moderation thing, since I know my eating habits can go very bad very quick, so this keeps me in check.

The good news from all of this, I am down 2 pounds! From 185 to 183! My cut is going in the right direction.

So I decided to try a new dr. for my back. I don’t want surgery and I am getting sick of the muscle relaxers and pain killers. Acupuncture, Chiropractic care and Modern Medicine haven’t really helped. Well not entirely true, Acupuncture has helped a lot but the way my insurances works with it, I have to get reimbursed for it and it takes 6 weeks to get my money back. So if I go once a week to help my back that is a lot of money out of pocket before I get anything back. This new dr. is a Chiropractor, but he takes a different approach. I told him my adjustments weren’t holding and he feels he knows why and said he would include that in the treatment plan for me. He also gave me a suggestion as to how I can relieve the pain that I have going down my leg. He said the curve in my lower spin is gone, so all of the force and weight of my upper body is putting stress on my lower spine. If you look at any pictures of a spine, it has a curve going into the sacrum (hips), mine doesn’t. I am to put a foam roller under my low back and prop my legs up and let gravity do it’s thing for 20 minutes. This will relax the muscles and allow my spine to get back to it’s natural alignment. Nobody ever suggested that to me before, but it makes sense. I did it last night and by the end of 20 minutes I was in lots of pain… my muscles were spasming like crazy, but once I removed the roller I felt so much better. I also did my inversion table yesterday for a while after I did a cardio workout and it felt great. Hopefully this will be fix for me. This dr. also does the spinal decompression therapy, but since he knows it isn’t covered he doesn’t push it on people. The last guy I went to was too much of a salesmen for this. It turned me off because it seemed like he didn’t really listen to my health issues. I have to go back next week to see what the new dr. wants to do to treat me. I like my other Chiropractor but I don’t think he is really helping me, only because he is set in the way he is treating me and I am not improving. We will see what happens next.

OK, so I have been getting reminders from bodyblog about keeping myself current with my blog. If you couldn’t tell by the title, I have had my reasons for not keeping it up. After 8 years of marriage my wife has decided she needs space because she isn’t happy. I am of course upset by this news, it has been a long time coming if I think about it. I am not about to air all of my dirty laundry on this post, but I had to get it off my chest since it will make it more real and I am in disbelief at the moment. Trust me I understand that our life together is not everything it could be, but separating to me isn’t the answer, it just creates more problems. But I can’t stop her, so I have to let her go.

Honestly, I am doing ok with the news. We couldn’t go on the way that we were. She was miserable and so was I. My issues with my back were only making things worse for me, my overall health was declining as well. It was a good thing that I continued to workout or I would probably have had a heart attack.. Seriously! My blood pressure was through the roof (157/98) at it’s worst. It has come back down now that I am at peace with the decisions we have made to separate. Now we just need to work out the details which I am hoping won’t get ugly. The wife has laid out her "plan" which is a little unrealistic, but I am not arguing with her about it right now, I will let the mediator/lawyer show her that info later. If I bring it up now it will not get received well.  I just want to protect my emotional, Financial and physical health now. I have to look out for myself. I can’t worry about her anymore, since she doesn’t worry about me. I am getting a raw deal here, but I understand where it is coming from. The bad part is I am starting to not want to be with her at all anymore even though I acknowledge I still love her.

So I am dedicating my life to my own health and well being now. I am breaking my bad workout habits and committing myself to my "Abs by 40" goal.  I have to do this for my emotional health, but more for my health in general. The back issues have improved the more I work out. Plus losing 15 lbs and 4.5 inches off my stomach helped a lot. Now I just need to keep it up. I have messed around with different workouts, but I haven’t created a plan and stuck to it. So that is next. Especially since I don’t have to take her into account anymore with my planning, which I used to do. But no more. I might just go back to my Body For Life workout schedule for a while. It is a good schedule for me, and I did my best while I was dedicated to it.

The odds are against my wife and I getting back together, the statistics say %80 of couples that separate from their marriage get divorced, but my hope is that we are in the %20 percent that work things out. Our lives together have bucked the statistics already so there might be hope.

Yesterday I had my follow up to my last epidural injection, and the news was not good, mixed is the best adjective I could give it. My strength is returning, but I am "presenting" differently on my symptoms. My pain is different and my muscle tightness is a cause for concern. When I got the epidural injections the Doctor was treating me specifically for the disk at L5/S1 since those symptoms were worse and my MRI showed more "inflammation" in that area (as much as can be seen on a MRI), so he focused on that. Now I am symptomatic with issues in the L5/L4 region. The steroids were supposed to help both disk areas, but since my primary complaints told them to focus on the L5/S1 disks that is what they did. I was told that the injection site makes a difference on which disk they treat, which makes sense. So now since I am in pain everyday, my back is always in spasm and my symptoms are different they want to take a different course of action with me. I am going to do a Nerve study, they are little concerned that I might have some damage in the L5/L4 region of my nerves since my back and hamstrings will not relax!

My Doctor told me he was encouraged by my strength returning and I should be commended on working hard for that. Which was encouraging to say the least. But he also said he wants to get my records to a neurosurgeon for a consult, not for surgery per se, but to make sure we are treating my back properly.  That to me said that I have picked the right Doctor since he isn’t afraid to get help to take proper care of me. Of course since I drink with this guy at the NHL Hockey games he knows me on a personal level and understands I have a deep appreciation for "second opinions" and that I am an informed patient, what else would I expect.

He also gave me a Tens machine. It is meant to help reduce the spasms in my back by shocking the muscles. I can also use it on my hip and hamstrings to help them loosen up as well. Damn thing cost $800, so I am not sure if my insurance is going to cover it, so I haven’t opened it yet, in case I have to return it. But $800 for that thing is better then surgery… I will have to wait and see. I also got a script for Muscle relaxers so that I can help my body chemically… which I don’t like to do, but I am desperate to change what is going on.

So now here is all I am doing to treat this issue. Chiropractic Care to loosen the muscles in the lower back, Acupuncture, Massage Therapy, Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Working out, eating right and clean and taking medication, using an Inversion table at least daily, if not 2 times a day.

Over the next couple of weeks I am going to get some other opinions. I am seriously looking into Spinal Decompression, but I just don’t have the cash since insurance doesn’t cover it. Although I found another DC that says some of the decompression treatments (or aspects of it) are covered lowering my over all out of pocket expense. Heck I might just have to start waiting tables again as a second job, just to pay for my back getting healthy. It wouldn’t be so bad to do it, I have worked 2 jobs most of my life, but it would suck to have all of that money being spent before I make it. I am also going to a neurosurgeon on my own to get an opinion. I want a completely fresh perspective on what I should be doing. I trust my Doctor, but this is my health and I am not improving, so it is time to look at everything as a whole to make sure I am taking the best care of myself that I can.

As an ex athlete who has had many injuries and is still recovering from them, I figured out something about myself the other day. I have a need for competition. Big or small it doesn’t really matter, I need to compete. If it is against myself, time or other people I just like to compete. I miss it. It motivates me and helps me to bring out my best qualities. How did I realize this tidbit about myself, it was from a conversation I had with my wife. With my back slowly healing I told her I wanted to run in a 5k sometime soon, just to do it, not really for time or anything, but just because my body has been through some much in the form of injuries I thought running in a 5k might help me to feel like I have accomplished a goal. Her response was , You should do it, and I will too, so I can beat you! Well that was it, the challenge was on. By the way, she will most likely beat me, but that isn’t what matters to me. I want to do well for myself. 3.1 miles is not a long race, but a respectable time is what I am looking for. Right now, since I have just started training, I am not sure what that respectable time will be, or should be, but in a few weeks I should be able to figure that out. Of course my back is a concern, but my doctor feels I can do this, so I am just working myself in slowly. Road running is a lot different then running on the tread mill. Your body can take a pounding, so I want to get myself into it the right way. The race is Labor Day weekend so I have plenty of time to train and get myself back into it. Lookout…

So I have been getting into the gym enough to feel like I am getting into a good groove. I am not as sore after each workout and I am upping the weight on some of my reps. That feels awesome after everything I have been through with the latest of my injuries! I am hitting the Cardio hard as well. I want to take advantage of the weight I have lost to lose more fat! I haven’t done all of my measurements in a while, but I am going to do that this weekend to start tracking everything. I am a little afraid that my BF won’t be a good number because of how I lost the weight (stress!!!), but I can’t do anythign about that now, except eat clean and lift!

I like the fact that I feel like my day isn’t complete unless I go to the gym or do some sort of workout. That means that my mind and body are back where I need them to be! yeah for me. My back still hurts everyday, but I think it is because my bed is too soft. I can’t afford to replace it right now, but I have others I can sleep on at home, it is just not my preferred place to sleep, I would have to sleep away from the wife… .

Speaking of the wife, she is doing P90X and man she is loving it, and I am loving the results she is getting. She wasn’t doing very well on getting her protein intact to where it needed to be, plus she has a tendency to eat lots of carbs, so she wasn’t losing a lot of fat even though she was getting stronger. But now that she has tweaked her diet she is losing fat and looking fantastic. (Yes I am bragging!). I tell her how good she looks and how proud I am of her for her hard work. She inspires me to make sure I don’t miss a workout!

Well over the past month things have been up and down.. Mostly down. My back while starting to improve took a bad turn. I ended up getting another Epidural Injection, but guess what No Improvement! Lucky me. I have found that working out does improve the way I feel. So when I go for my next check up I am telling the Doc, I am done with injections. My stress level has come done a little bit, but not that much, so I am sure that is affecting everything. My weight has stabilized since I last posted, I am at 185, and this is all due to the stress I had been under. I lost 12-15 lbs originally, now it is 11, but I am trying to maintain the loss, even though I know it wasn’t done properly, so in order to do that I have to diet well, (eat clean etc) and keep on my workouts. Being consistent in both will help me reach my goals.

So last week I posted how much this back injury has set me back, but I have to admit, I feel really good getting back to the gym. Yes I am weak, but I am taking it slow, using light weight (no free weights right now, Dr’s orders!) and high reps just to get the kinks worked out. So far so good. The bad stress in my life hasn’t changed, so my weight is continuing to drop, I lost 2 more pounds. I realize this is muscle that I am losing, but I am hoping that by me getting back into the gym and making sure I eat correctly I can fix my body a little. I mean I needed to lose the weight, but not in an unhealthy manner as this. Do I mind that I am 186lbs, no, but since I lost 10 lbs over the past 3 weeks… that is not healthy. My appetite is not really good, the stress has caused my  stomach to have all sorts of issues, and eating has been harder. I am hoping that by working out and beating the stress my stomach will calm down so I can get back on track.

Man it is amazing how injuries can derail you. This back injury has been so bad I am very, very weak. My two days back working out have been just basic stuff; Abs and Core work, stretching, Cardio, but man does it stink when you are done and you can feel your body shaking because it is so weak. I have a long way to go, but lots of time to get there, so slow will be the pace. It just sucks to be in the position in the first place. But I am determined to get myself back on track.

Monday I got my second epidural injection. I am mad at myself for waiting as long as I did to get this help. I could have been months ahead of the game if I had let the Doctor give it to me back in December when he originally suggested it. I am feeling so much better. The pain is almost completely gone,  I am sleeping better and I wake up ready to go!  I got cleared to go back to the gym, but I am very weak so I am going to be moving very slowly towards my goals. Initially, I need to concentrate on my core strength to help my back. But I also need to work the rest of my body. I am looking forward to this but I know it is going to be tough. Now, the stress… amazing what stress can do to a person. The last two plus weeks I have been under a lot of personal stress, something bad happened in my life that really is hurting me and from it I lost eight pounds! Of course this is not a good way to lose weight, but since I realize what happened, why it happened and what I can do about it, I can hopefully take corrective action to not lose anymore muscle. But I have to admit, I am happy to be below 190 for the first time since about 6-8 years ago… I am now 188.