jdledbetter’s BodyBlog

Hello readers:

It is not going to be hard for me to write this post, but I need to give you a warning. This is going to be one of long posts you will ever read. My point of writing this blog is doing my best I can to show everyone what experiences are like in my life as a deaf individual that get challenged everyday and everywhere! This post is a preview of the book I am planning on writing because I do not see many deaf authors out there. I believe this is a way to inspire you, and make you realize or knowing that we are all the same people (as known as) human beings, but we were born and raised to have flaws in us. Having flaws do not stop us from achieving our goals and getting the things we want in our lives, right? If you are thinking yes, then read on and see my side of experiences. I am one of most flexible deaf people in this world, because I chose to be on the fence between deaf and hearing worlds and I accept everyone no matter what.
Not many deaf people will agree with me on this one because most of them (although, that I met) prefer to stay in their world of deafness (deaf or hard of hearing). It is not because they have something against hearing people ("hearing" means people who can hear) but they feel that hearing people do not want to make connections with them because they believe hearing people are thinking that it is a waste of time to learn sign language, or finding ways to communicate with them. If you are thinking, what the heck? It does matter because if you think about it, it is like as if you are traveling to other country, and you try to speak some form of language with others, and they talk fast and move on. You feel like you are left behind. American Sign Language (ASL) is one of foreign languages if you do not know and it is something new to learn! Remember, I do not discriminate you or anyone else, it is not up to me to judge but God.

Here it goes about my life and the experiences that I believe are the most difficult obstacles. When I was born deaf, the doctors were surprised and they did not know why it has happened to me. My mother, grandma and aunt were not surprised, and they signed up sign language courses right away because they knew they want to keep the communication in the open for me in future if I could not speak with my voice. My real father wanted to send me to deaf and blind school because he thought it would be easy for me to interact with other deaf people, but my mother refused and put me through public school with other people with a deaf program that is accessible for deaf students like me, being able to receive interpreters for classes that we take with other students. I was the happiest kid (even though I did not realize I was deaf and I was interacting with both worlds - hearing and deaf students), and at this age, no one had judgments against each other. When my mother remarried with my step-dad (my real father died when I was three years old and I did not remember much about him), my step father Bruce introduced me to motocross racing (dirt bikes). My mother Kelly thought it was crazy but she trusts Bruce. When I got into riding, Bruce noticed my talents and he signed me up for motocross racing (which drove Kelly crazy because she’s being a mother). When Bruce and I showed up to my first race, and I went up to the starting gate. We were talking to each other in sign language, saying that I need to be careful but be fast as I could be. The gate dropped and I got in middle of pack (32 riders), and I continued to work hard to pass every rider as quick as I could safely. The checkered flag came up and I finished sixth place. I rode back to my dad’s truck and I was so excited and fell in love with it. My dad ran to me and hugged me, saying good job and stuff. He said do the same thing next time Josh. I nodded and got water to drink before second race starts in an hour. When we approached the starting line, my biggest slap in face is when a man came up to him telling him that if I am deaf, I cannot race motorcycles because it is dangerous for me. Even the man did not know I could lip-read so well (because I took lip-reading and speech class back in school). The fire inside me started to burn even bigger. I told dad why did he say that? He said "What? He did not say anything?" and I replied "Dad, I could lip-read, remember?" Dad nodded and said to just ignore him and focus on your own race. He is just being a mean person to us. I nodded but I could not put the fire out, so when the gate dropped. I got in middle of pack once again, and came across the finish line after fourteen laps in third place. I got fifth overall, and when I went to pick up my first trophy. There was this man once again, and he was shocked. He kneed down on the ground and apologized to me for being mean. I said no worries! You just did not understand but can we be friends? He nodded and smile, welcome to motocross racing Josh! He gave me the trophy and hoped to see me at the next race. This was my first experience realizing that people started to think that I am deaf meaning I could not do anything with sports. That did upset me, but luckily, being that young, I was able to forget and move on.

As the pages in my book that I wrote, I chose the middle school part, at age of 11. I was in sixth grade and went in all classes at public school with an interpreter (I have many interpreters as they are for different classes relating to subjects that they are familiar with in order to interpret in sign language effectively for me). I sat down in front row facing the teacher and the interpreter. Many students started to look at me in sort of weird way, as if it’s like, what are you doing here? Why can’t you hear us? Things like that pops out of their heads like kernels popping up into popcorn in a microwave.  One day, in English class, the teacher asked the class to give a topic and one kid quickly responded "Deafness!" The teacher told him it was not appropriate to discuss here because of me being there in class. I told the interpreter to the teacher in sign language, that it is okay for you all to start on that topic. The teacher was looking at me mad, even though I did not understand. As the teacher talked about the deafness and its’ culture, I fell in love. Unfortunately, all students were yelling at teachers with questions that provoked me such as "If Josh is deaf, why can’t he just go to deaf and blind school because this is not for deaf people?" and things like that. I was getting upset and I walked out of class, sat on floor with my legs and my arms crossed. I was thinking "if everyone has such much dislike with us being deaf, why do they ask to talk about that topic in first place?" As the school bell rang, the students from my English class came out into the hallway and pointed at me "Look deafie!" and laughed. As that happened, the word about me being deaf spread through the entire middle school like a fire in the forest. The seventh and eighth graders started to come and pick on me. I ran home crying to my parents, and they told me only one thing… do not let them get to you because it is their problem. I wiped my tears, and said ok mom and dad! (Saving paragraphs for not spoiling the book) This point, is other way for me to realize that people just didn’t understand once again even with schools.

(Summary)
As I got older (through out the book and picking highlights), I turned 15 and went professional in motocross racing (local), achieved 4.0 GPA in high school and grew many strong friendships that I have not lost in contact with yet. I grew up into a man where many people could not believe where I am at in the point of my life. I am 22 years old now, finishing out one more semester of college completing Bachelor’s Degree. I am one of 3% deaf population to complete a college degree, and I am planning on going for Masters’ which narrows down to 1% or less deaf population that completes Masters’ too. I look back, I have went through a lot of discriminating actions and hate from others, the fun being made about me, the times being wasted by others who does not want to make effort to communicate with me. Now, I know, everyone who knew me will regret it, and my job is not to let them regret it. My job is to let them know they are forgiven and forgotten for their actions, and I am a friend for everyone no matter what. I make my own time to get know others, I do my half-assed work to help others being able to communicate with me through talking, writing, texting, emailing, etc. I do not judge anyone, including you. Judging people, in my beliefs, is a completely big waste of life. I want to be a good role model for anyone, including both worlds of deaf and hearing, I mean everyone! I do not want to be a celebrity, I just want to be well-known as the nicest guy around that gives his own time to others. I am a deaf man that has a lot of goals and dreams that wants to complete before God says, "Joshua, it is time for you to come home, because you have plowed plenty of beautiful fields." This is one last and final goal that I want to be able to hear God saying that to me before I die at the moment someday.

This is basically much for the first book I am working on. This is to prove to everyone not because deaf people can do it. My entire point altogether from this book is to help everyone open their eyes, that they do have flaws but it does not mean anything can stop them from getting what they want in their lives. Being successful in their careers, completing schools, competitions in sports, anything. Nothing is impossible even with disabilities, diabetics, HIV/AIDS. It is just a piece of cake we have to eat in our lives. The icing on the piece of cake is our achievements. Never forget that. You can do it, whatever you want, whatever you can get, and never give in till the death knocks the door "You need to come home, you plowed plenty of beautiful fields for everyone!" We sure do have power to help and change the world in positive ways, but it cannot be from just sitting down and letting it be at peace. It must be from blood, sweat, and real work, just like in gym!
=)

If you truly enjoy this blog, please leave a comment in agreement that you would love to have my book coming out in public. I will write more inspirational blogs for you all. I am not doing this for any specific one, I am doing for you, the reader. Enjoy and keep in touch, ladies and gentlement.

Beloved friend,

Joshua

This entry was posted on Thursday, August 13th, 2009 at 9:59 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.