Can You Please Help me Motivate My Mate?
Over the past few years I’ve received a number of emails, but the one that stands out the most in my mind is a guy who in his words said, "I wish I could get my wife to work out like you" so he asked for suggestions on how to motivate his wife. Somehow his question struck a raw nerve and I’m not sure why. My response was the following: make sure you cook dinner, take care of the children, buy her a new workout outfit, and take care of other chores so that she can have adequate time to get to the gym. I thought it was important for him to encourage her by making sure her needs were met, then maybe she would be inspired to make some physical changes.
I believe that internal motivation is the source that drives those of us who maintain healthy lifestyles. We may be encouraged and inspired by others, but ultimately it’s us who keep "us" in check. When I was dating a bodybuilder, he didn’t criticize me or harass me about going to the gym. I began to feel self-conscious about my physique and wanted to change. He was happy to show me resources and techniques that would help me actualize my transformation. However, it was "me" who had to make some tough choices about diet changes. When I decided I wanted to change, he supported my efforts.
What’s your opinion about mate motivation?
October 5, 2009 at 3:21 pm
Yes, internal motivation is a big part of it. You have to want to do it for yourself. Your suggestion to that guy was good. If she’s distracted by taking care of him and the household stuff, then she won’t be motivated to take care of herself.
October 5, 2009 at 3:23 pm
i have to want it to do it. the old horse to water adage is so true. and that goes for mates , friends, or yourself. it is on me to care for me.
October 5, 2009 at 5:35 pm
We here on bodyspace.com know that the only person that can motivate you is you. I tell people all the time. I won’t force, drag or beg you to come to the gym. They have to do that on their own. If they are willing then nether reasons nor excuses will keep them from exercising. I don’t motivate people to come and start working out. I do however will encourage, help, guide, inspire etc when they choose to come and workout.