jcorbett’s BodyBlog

I unveiled my posing suits at work with two of my co-workers. We all chuckled at the fact that there’s not much fabric to cover the goodies. The suits are plain, but beautiful. One is purple & the other is hot pink, both velvet. I took them home and waited for the kids to go to bed before I tried them on……OMG, these things fit like a glove. My stretch marks, tan lines, scars & other imperfections were on display. Additionally, there is barely enough fabric covering the crack of my a**, what the h*!#. I thought, "There is no way I’m getting my big a** out there on stage with this sh**. I’m am too d*** old to do this and I don’t want to make a fool of myself." Once the initial shock was over, I took the stupid cups out, adjusted the suits, which are almost a perfect fit, did my poses and thought, "I look pretty darn good for 46. In fact I am in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life". I was instantly reassured:) I can and will do these competitions. I’ve made too many sacrifices to punk out now.

Encouraging myself:

During this contest prep I’ve had an incredible amount of financial challenges, and in spite of this, I have been able to purchase everything I need, not want, but need. It was difficult getting with the cutting diet at first and I’ve had some minor set backs, but for the most part I am within range of my set weight goal–not even concerned about the bodyfat (it’s low, don’t know how low, doesn’t matter). It’s my reflection in the mirror that keeps me in check. If I am on point it shows, if I mess up, it shows. Last year I started working with my trainer, Bruno, and didn’t believe I could lose 12 pounds (my original goal), now 30+ pounds less and one year later, I’m showing off my accomplishment.  Like the tenure pursuit and the quest for ongoing publications, this fitness thing is neverending, once you reach a goal, it’s time to work on another. No time for slacking unless I want to be back at square one. It only takes a quick review of my progress pictures for me to stay focused.

The fact that I will be on stage in 10 days is a little anxiety producing. The anxiety is just enough for me to get up @ 5 a.m. to train and pack all the right food for the day.

Thanks to Bruno, my trainer/coach, I am able to see where I’m retaining water (yuck). This revelation should have motivated me to drastically reduce sodium intake, but instead I yielded to my PMS craving and had some popcorn this weekend so I’m paying the price. Additionally, I have stopped the roasted almond w/ salt ordeal. I now have raw almonds in my cupboard:) Otherwise my diet is okay. Hopefully whatever ails me will be resolved this week and the rest will be handled via the decarb process next week. I’ll probably take milk thistle and dandelion instead of MuscleTech’s diuretic during my decarb phase if I am still retaining water. A note here: I think I have been guilty of allowing the principle of "good enough" to overshadow my mindset about this whole contest preparation. I guess part of me is so proud of the fact that I look so much different than I did last year, it has been difficult to shift gears and strive to do better. So what I can wear size 4 and 6 slacks. I’m getting ready to compete and have to learn how to effectively critique myself–this is where Bruno’s weekly review is helpful, but I need to fine tune my ability to self evalutate as it relates to progress and presentation.

Got lazy with training Fri. and just did cardio. It was bi/triceps day. Got to the gym late, did a little socializing and posing practice so I ran out motivation and out of time. Today I started this last phase of training with Bruno–guess I just need to be reassured that I’m on point. We trained both upper and lower body today and also practiced posing. Boy do my quads hurt. Sucking my lower stomach (pouch) is very difficult, but I’m more at ease with the quarter turns and hand positions–of course I need to stop slacking and practice more independently throughout the week. I don’t have anything spectacular planned for the model walk, just want to appear graceful as I move back and forth across the stage. Anything extra could be distracting for me.

I did contact a former male "friend" who was so affirming. He quickly moved away from lustful comments to saying he was proud of me and isn’t surprised that I lost weight b/c I usually stick to my goals–this meant a lot hearing it from him. He won’t be at the competition. Since I don’t talk to my ex-husband there is no reason to draw him into my life at this point–I may have difficulty getting rid of him again.

I still can’t believed I am actually competing, perhaps it’s because my posing suits haven’t arrived yet. They are due to arrive within the next few days. 

One last thing. Some man suggested that competition is a good way for me to see how I measure up to others which will help me with my fitness goals (I’m paraphrasing here). I responded by saying that I am competing as a way of celebrating my 30 lbs weight loss and the fact that I have been able to keep the weight off. It’s a way of challenging myself and I’m not interested in comparing myself to others. I set my own standards and establish goals accordingly.

It’s one thing to pose at home in front of the mirror. It’s a whole new ballgame when you pose at the gym where others can see you. Fortunately I went this afternoon and there were only a few people so it really wasn’t that scary. "Quarter turn to the right, arms in position", said my coach. As I began to shake off the awkwardness and began positioning my shoulders and hands correctly, I was stoked. My coach/former trainer said that I looked great and in excellent condition, almost like a body builder. What a wonderful compliment. I still wobble a little when walking in the shoes, but with more practice I’ll master the balance.

I tried the "Cut Diet" for 3 days because it is close to what I am already doing, but decided to stop it b/c it’s designed for a 12 to 18 week cut period. I got to the carb loading meal and felt so awful the next day–it was not a smart decision. Anyway, I’ve recovered and back to my version of a "cut diet". I’m 4 pounds away from my goal and may surpass it. My waist measurement is at goal. I haven’t had my fat measured, but the bodyfat percentage is probably low. Just think, I’ll be shredded when I decarb.

I did another dumb nutritional thing this week, I changed whey protein b/c this one (Health ‘n Fit) was 1/2 the price of what I usually buy.  It is a gastro intestinal nightmare. I have a hard time digesting this stuff so I need to take it back and cough up the cash for my usual, "Isopure".  I have to remember that this is not the time to try something new.

I finally invited a few friends to the shows, most shared that they were proud (only one extraordinarily dumb response) of me and a couple plan to attend. I feel like being a little bolder this week and asking a few former boyfriends (perhaps an ex-husband or two–just kidding) to the show–that should be interesting:)

Nothing like a date with a MAC professional–I feel so glamorous–very ‘le femme’! I had an appt. at the MAC boutique on Montague with Danielle. She is the absolute best. I told her about the competition and my suit colors, then sat patiently while she transformed my face. I love the colors she selected and believe they will photograph well on stage. It’s so unfortunate that I have to do my own make-up, but thankfully Danielle gave me a face chart that has the colors and proper shading along with a number chart (LOL). It’s been a year since my last major visit to the make-up counter and it is always a fun time for me. Usually I only wear eye shadow and lipstick. If I’m going out (which is rare), I dig out the serious stuff (e.g. darker shades, blush, etc.). Wish I had a hot date, oh well, back to diet and training…

It’ll be fun to see how my kids react.

My first figure competiton is in 3 weeks, 4 days. I haven’t been very public about my decision to compete outside of the bodybuilding community. Not sure what that’s about.  Most friends have supported my in my weight loss, but a couple (who happen to be overweight) seem to be unneccesarily concerned about my health. For example, carb depletion–"did your doctor approve that?" Suppliments–is it good for you? Additionally, I’m not doing the restaurant or ‘join me for dinner’ scene b/c of diet restrictions. Some think I’m just being persnipity, others just don’t have a clue and I’m tired of explaining my lifestyle changes. Therefore, I choose not to discuss my fitness goals unless asked. I don’t have any family here in NYC, as a result I don’t have much local, ‘in person’ support for this competition. I will probably have the sitter bring my children to the evening part of the competition. Guess I’ll invite a few friends this week to the show and see what happens.

In terms of weight/fat loss goal for the competition, I’m on target and need to drop 6 additional pounds to be at 139 lbs by carb depletion week so I may have a chance @ weight in at 136 lbs., which is fairly lean for me (5′9 1/4"). My obliques need to shrink just a tad. I will eliminate poultry from my diet next week–don’t eat much of it now just because I prefer fish. My calorie intake is approximately 1550 per day and I will only do three days of carb depletion the week of the competition.

Training & cardio seem to be on point. On Friday I decided to try Afican Dance again–it’s an addition to my 5 day intermitant cardio and also adds flexibility and balance to the mix. The teacher was great, it was a fun family activity, and it is a fabulous work out. I stretched muscles in areas I didn’t know were tight. I am beginning to understand and practice figure poses daily, but talked to my former trainer today to get on his schedule for posing practice beginning this week. He will drill me until I’m unable to stand, but I have to master each pose so that I can present my physique in the best possible manner.

Congrats to "Making a Change" http://bodyspace.bodybuilding.com/Making_A_Change/ for placing 2nd in her first figure competition. She has been an inspiration to me.

Yesterday, a gym buddy commented that I was too lean and that when I de carb I will look too much like a bodybuilder. Of course I laughed at her as I continue to diet b/c I know that I need to be leaner if I want to seriously be considered a top contender. I’ve been reading about the history of figure competition, and didn’t realize that it is a relatively new sport. As I reviewed as many website articles about figure competition I believe Jen Heath (http://www.figureathlete.com/free_online_article/features/how_to_become_a_figure_competitor) says it the best, "Figure competition ‘evolved’ out of the conventional fitness division. It mirrors fitness in judging…. Competitors are judged on symmetry and muscle tone among other things, but with much less emphasis placed on muscle size than is typical in standard bodybuilding." She later adds that "the NPC tends to promote a more lean and muscular look. However, it’s been said that even within this year, some contests are rewarding a softer look. Which "look" is preferred will vary with contest, judging panel, region, time of the year, and whether or not the sky is blue that day." With that said, I am preparing so that I can present the best me (long, lean & muscular) as possible. This includes sporting my beautiful, freshly dyed locs (no ladies, I’m not buying long tresses [LOL]), MAC makeup, and a cultural flare to my accessories–the rhinestone bling (earrings & bracelet) look doesn’t work for me.
As I get to know more about figure competitors, I wonder who is setting the standard of greatness, is it our patriarchal society that drives the standards, or is it the actual female participants who are shaping the industry? Figure competitors work too hard for them to be referrered to as ‘gals’ and viewed as glorified pagent participants (not that pagent participants don’t work hard–don’t want to offend anyone).

So why am I competing? I’m afraid that I’ll blow up like a whale so I thought this would inspire me to continue raise my physical standard help me redesign my fitness goals. It’s great to read about women who have been able to overcome anorexia and other disorders by using figure competition as a healthier outlet. I’ve been doing extra training and know that it is helpful in reducing stress and hormone related mood swings. I’m enjoying the competition prep & chatter, but the idea of being on a stage without much covering my goods, isn’t appealing. I’m a cyber exhibitionist, not a public exhibitionist. However, I am comfortable being me, and hope to continue to inspire women and men to live a healthier lifestyle without conforming to standards set by others. This is a lifelong journey, not a sprint so we have to set our own standards.

Just my 2cents:)

2 more hours before my next meal:(

I decided to do two shows per my former trainer’s suggestion. The first one is a smaller show. I’ll have to use the same two suits so maybe I’ll feel like I’m getting my money’s worth (LOL).

Progress: Haven’t thrown in the towel–does that count? My abs had shown some small improvement until this morning–carb loaded on the weekend (more info below).  I weighed myself this morning–no changes. It was a not so smart thing to do–I’ll weigh again on Thurs.  I measure myself daily–somewhat obsessed about getting this fat off. It was easier to lose the 30 lbs than it is to lose this small percentage of fat & weight that goes with it. Why did I think it’d be no big deal? It is very frustrating b/c I’m not dropping 1.5 pounds per week as planned. Now I need to lose 2+ lbs per remaining time. I see why competition participants begin 16 weeks out so that the diet adjustments can be made and monitored w/o panic.

My diet was on point last week until I got the bright idea to carb load. I’ve done this before, but Sat. I did something so stupid–I wanted 2 squares of cacao (less than 1 oz), but it’s so bitter I put a little splenda in it. That didn’t do the trick so I added a little Golean, still no go, so I added a teaspoon of peanut butter. Needless to say this experiment was high in calories, and didn’t taste good. I had a better day on Sunday and just ate a small sweet potato with one of my regular meals. I have also added an additional scoop of protein to my diet b/c I just can’t bare to swallow more fish unless it is absolutely necessary. I haven’t found any suitable vegetarian options. Today I decided to cook a turkey breast, just for some variety and an  alternative to my tuna lunch.

Training: Changed my routine b/c I was bored

M: legs: trisets–>lunges, leg curls, squats

             superset–>leg extensions, stiff legged deadlifts

Note: my glutes and hamstrings are still burning.

T: Back & Chest: superset–> assist pull ups & press machine

flat bench dumbbell presses, close grip seated pull downs

incline dumbbell flyes, seated cable rows

pull-overs, bent over rows

W: abs & cardio only

Th: biceps triset: reverse curl, hammer curl, barbell curl

triceps triset: push down, w/ rope, w/ regular grip

Fri: shoulders & abs

shoulder press

upright rows

side laterals

reverse flyes

*inter. cardio 5 days weekly + still walking to & from work (12 miles per week).

I watched pre qualifying clips of figure competitors during the Olympia weekend, just to get an idea of the 3/4 turns. I’ve been practicing with my shoes and feel quite clumsy. I plan to practice at the gym within the next few weeks. Not sure how I’m going to do it. I feel quite exposed at home, but hopefully, I’ll minimize the stage fright and ease into the turns more smoothly.

I’m also looking into stones, but my suit won’t arrive until 1 week prior to the first show so I may not have time to add anything.  Thinking about make-up and will need to take a trip to the MAC counter soon. Not sure if I’ll self tan or get the Dream Tan and do it myself–if any of you have any expertise in this area, please share.

I’ve been feeling crankier than usual this week. I reduced my starchy carbs by 70% so I can lose this fat. Perhaps the consequence for low carbs is low tolerance for nonsense. For example I was in Manhattan on Sunday and broke my umbrella because I hit a car–this driver almost hit my daughter as we were crossing the street. I would have pulled the driver out of the car if she was driving slower. While this is a legitimate cause to get angry, it was difficult for me to rein it in and redirect my energy to my daughter=> explanation–my vote here is on the Brooklyn persona. The past few days I have been feeling ill tempered on & off throughout the day–does hunger and food boredom have anything to do with mood shifts or is it a perimenapausal thing (LOL)?

It’s not been a week sense I reduced my carbs, I don’t like being hungry and I have to find ways to preoccupy myself until the next meal. Can you believe I missed my 4 p.m. meal today–those darn students, the meetings, etc. Anyway by the time I got home it was time to eat dinner so I treated myself to 2 T of peanut butter b/c my calorie overall intake was so low. While the body is adjusting to the diet modifications I can see some moderate progress–my ab muscles are starting to peak thru (YAY). I guess there is hope.

My goal for the competition is primarily to have fun, and to also look & feel like I belong on the stage with other competitors. If I place–that’s a bonus.