WEAPONX THOUGHTS

As ive stated recently that my grandfather was going to pass soon, well he did so last night around 11:00 pm! I was going to call him first thing in the morning just to tell him that i treasured everything that he did for my sister and i, but that moment is gone. I know that his suffering has ended and i know that his soul is relinquished from the pain of mortality. My only hope is that he passed with the knowledge that there was a lot of us who deeply cared for hiim and that his wife whom we take care of now, still loves him deeply. This is not the most joyful blog anyone can read on a sunday, but its unfortunately the thought process that is being summoned in my mind. Today is leg day and the celebration of my anniversary, so i know Grandpa would still want me to do these things without a second thought!

J

So here we are again as you sit amongst your fellow bodybuilders, figure competitors, and fitness athletes alike! As we all know when we are in season or when we are training for certain events we find ourselves completely focused with the tasks on hand. I unfortunately, take my seriousness to a little too much of the extreme! I feel like im on a mission and nothing, not family, not friends, not enemies will extract me from that mission. Somewhere along the lines of my lifes ambitions and work im going to have to find some balance. I really have to reach within myself to understand that not everything in the world revolves around my mission sometimes, or does it! Is it wrong to take this to serious, or is it right that i want to be the best i can become. I remember shortly last year, 2 weeks before my Texas show my grandfather had passed. There was a side of me that wanted to be sad and mourn for his loss because i loved him very much, but there was the other side of me that told me i couldnt be weak right now, your grandfather wouldnt of wanted that to happen. So i traveled to his mourning and i found that i emotionally blocked myself until the time of the competition was over and then it hit me like a ton of bricks, one year before that it was the same instance with my mentor Clint. Then this year in about a projected 3 days my other grandfather is going to pass, and this time i dont know what is going to happen. All i know is that death is a natural part of life and as much as we want our loved ones to stay around we cant even imagine the suffering they endure while they are alive. So serious it may not even be, but perhaps understanding. Ive been dealing with death and family sickness now for the last 3 years and honestly it seems like forever!

Without doubt we are all human. We eat, we breathe, we sleep, well some of us. The basis of this topic is that humans are ran by emotion, some of us more than others. Some of us have learned to shut off certain emotions to be protected by those in harms way, and some embrace the unknown with open arms. One of our main emotions is fear, fear of death, fear of defeat, fear of absolution! This is a natural process of life, but we cannot deny fear because with fear comes courage. With courage comes the test of the human soul on how far we are willing to push ourselves to our absolute best. We cannot fear an obstacle because we are afraid we wont make it, rather use this fear as your fuel knowing that you will overcome, you will succeed! Day to day i personally have learned to embrace my fears and deny them not, but embrace them with the upmost courage. Courage to know that i will persist where others will fail. Courage to believe that i am absolute of myself and knowing of what i am capable of. If i were to lose a couple of battles along the way then so be it, but this will not bend my will, this will not keep me down. This is to all of you who fear anything, do not fear that weight, do not fear that race, do not fear success, it is your’s for the taking and take it you must!

So i was going to write a blog about this sooner but i couldnt because i am so busy! So here it is this last weekend was a huge event for the resort that i work at. It was a members wedding and party in which 180 people attended and it was roughly a 25,000 dollar wedding. I was asked to attend the wedding to stand at attention which is now becoming my job because ive done it the last 3 times. After the ceremony ended i helped out the bartenders on the outside bar and we would transport alcohol and dirty glasses with a golf cart! Well one of the bussers decided to try and take it off road to not disturb the party. So of course everyone calls me to pick it up off a curb it was stuck on, so  i did it. Then the night raged on as all the richie riches were drunker than a skunk and we were all out back taking a break because the food and service portion was over. Two of my coworkers were smoking and i asked them why the hell would they do that to their bodies and they asked why i didnt. So i said "because i wouldnt be able to do this" then i picked up the golf cart they were sitting in and they were both astonished. So then it turned into this huge bet on how many people i could deadlift in a golf cart, by the end it was a total of 5, it was a hilarious night, afterwards i treated myself to a V8 from the bartender!

It was quite enjoyable to hear these words from a fellow coworker of mine at my other job! While everyone is sitting at the table in the eating lobby goring themselves on the resteraunt food because they havent eaten all day i bring my lunch box!! So we are all sitting there conversing about several issues, one concerning politics as i told them i was canadian to stay out of the issue and then one of them looked at me and said, "dude you are as diehard as they come." This was an awesome compliment, and it pretty much made my day. Then we went on to discussing bodybuilding and what the foundation of bodybuilding and its discipline involves. I clearly stated to them that it can lead to unhealthy habits of vanity and drug consumption, however, if you find that perfect balance to which you believe that you are in it to become the perfect mold of what you can become naturally, then it can be very constructive! So because of this conversation i had with 3 of my coworkers they are now going to sign up at a gym and 2 are going to join my bootcamps next mo! I love my job!!!!

X

Today marks a day that holds true to myself in every aspect of dedication, truth and honor. Today is 90 days out from my  competition and this begins true dieting and true discipline. There are no more protein bars, there are no more samples, just precision and dedication. I find this period of time to be a true test of character, it is a test to invoke strength within the heart of human spirit, or what you percieve to be inhuman. Ive always been different than everyone else, so i never find this to be a probelm. The only conflict that arises with dieting this time around is finding the exact balance of calories with a 70 to 80 hour work week, but knowing me i will always find the right balance. Time to bring home the titles once and for all, im done waiting in the dark!