jboneSSS’s BodyBlog

its not hard to find me in here. the droplets of sweat on the floor fall in line like an army of ants behind me, leading up to the few still beaded on my face. i appreciate each and every one of them. from those that still cling to my brow or those that lay on the ground, each one was earned and into each one I’ve poured myself into. i clenched my teeth and instead of ignoring The pain i used it. i used it to fuel my desire, my passion. to keep moving. it lashes at me like a whip, trys to make me quit… i merely smile at myself in the mirror and watch the sweat fall.

my heads buzzing. im dizzy and  might pass out. i can feel them all staring at me. my eyes are filled with  an eerie red and my movements are methodical. up, down. up, down. the weights play a distinct tune today when they hit the floor. deadlifts. and as quickly as my sets over its time to go again. wrapping my hands around the bar all falls quiet. i hear nothing but my headphones. one more time i tell myself. its not my last set but that helps. my grips tightening now. i get the tingle in the back of my neck. i breathe. i pull. the moment the weight leaves the floor i feel time slow to a stop. each rep harder than the last. but that’s fine because every rep i try a little bit harder. every rep i sweat a little bit more.

its not always easy though. sometimes i wanna quit. sometimes get down. but that is when you must dig deeper than the last time. you have to refuel your passion. refuel your desire. find out what it is that motivates you and remember. if it truly is your driving force then meditate upon it. without it you cannot give it your all. if you do not give it your all, you won’t get all that could be yours.

i love monotony. or perhaps i merely struggle through it because i know its there for me and i can count on it. every day is the same. i come to the gym to work my 9 to 5. lift. pose. eat. sleep. rinse. repeat.  and every day i see them. those who trot aimlessly on the treadmill running a marathon in their heads. those who barrel towards the bench rambling on about previous lifts. they are my life force. without them my day could not start. its the marathon runner on the treadmill winning her mind game she’s playing with herself as she crosses the finish line and the treadmill slows to a stop. its the kid on the bench getting his personal best and seeing his  bloodshot eyes as he sits up from under his iron opponent. i see this everyday. and everyday i need it.  

the younger kids in the gym are starting to notice me. they pepper me with questions. everyone of them eagerly tunes in, watching, learning. its amazing to see people grow and reach their goals. its even better to watch goals grow out of people. i see this everyday. and everyday i grow with them.

there is an older man that comes to the gym. he’s 89. he walks with a cane because of a heart attack that fell on him. he comes here to do work. he makes his way through the machines, hammering out his sets,stopping only to rest and smile inbetween.his tenacity is something to be noticed. i see this everyday. and everyday i realize i can’t quit.

my training partner arrives everyday at 4 pm. i wait for this all day. he has taken me under his wing. in the last 12 weeks of lifting with the guy who you know as double  dbol i have learned more than ever. form and precision. discipline and desire. this is everyday. this is what i am.

i love monotony. its the daily  dance. its the song the weights make. its the "oh my gosh, i lost ten pounds!" its the glory of  the gym. the glory of the grind. and its perfect.

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