Thoughts, Ideas, and quick stabs

By a show of names, who all has grown tired of the repeating of the blogs by the "OLD" guy?

How about shutting the hell up?

I feel like putting my balls out on display in my banana hammock

Oops, sorry. I done burnt mine up

Maybe we should start a site called "www.please give me some attention before I cry.com

Because, damn I am in dire need of attention. Vote for me!

Sorry, but I need the attention

Ok, I’m not sure if it’s me, or if the entire freaking world has gone insane, but lately it seems that driving in this town has gone out of control. Starts with 2 days ago. I dropped my daughter off at her school, and it’s right in the middle of a very busy part of town. I take a right out of the parking lot, and pull up to a stop light. Waiting to take a right turn, I see that the opposite traffic has a green arrow, and are all making left turns. Most of them are coming all the way over into the right hand lane, because they need to turn into the parking lot of the school. So I’m waiting, there really isn’t any where to go. It can’t be more than 5 seconds, and the guy behind me starts laying on his horn. I look in my mirror, and throw my hand up. Where in the hell does he think I can go, and are you in that big of a f’n hurry you can’t wait 10 seconds? He proceeds to throw his hand up at me. So patiently I wait for him to pull along side of me as we are going down the road. I roll my window down, and he does the same. So I causally ask him "Do you really want your a$$ kicked this early in the morning?" - I think I f*cked up his day, because he had nothing to say and just drove off.

 Then, yesterday coming home from picking up my youngest, there seems to be an accident on the freeway. I’m in a lane, that has to merge over, (no choice, it merges anyway). I notice that most of the people in front of me are doing the alternate method, a car in my lane merges in, and the car in the left lane goes, etc. Well, I’m getting the point where I need to merge over, I have my blinker on, and I notice that the car to my left is hugging the bumper of the car in front of her. She is bound and determined to NOT let me in. Well lady, I have bad news for you. I’m coming over, just like the rest of the "normal" folks are doing. So I slowly start pulling over, inch by inch. And damn, she is not budging. I’m thinking, ok this is not going to be pretty, but I can tell you right now, I AM COMING OVER. Finally she realizes that I wasn’t giving in, and backs off, but decides to lay on her horn. Not just a normal horn blast, but 30 f*cking seconds of it. I’m laughing pretty good at this point, because I’m thinking. "you know, just a bit of niceness, and wanting to do the right thing by letting me in, and you wouldn’t have pissed yourself off so much and ruined your day". Think about it, is that what you would have done if it were your mom wanting to merge in? Probably not, so why not take 2 freaking seconds out of your day, and let someone over. GEEZ, gotta love the idiots in the world

Ok, so this does not look like it’s going to be a fun day. Starts out, I take my pre-workout supps, and I’m amped up and ready to go. Get to the gym, only to find out the freaking electricity is out AGAIN. I say again, because it happens every other month or so. So here I am all cranked up, and no where to go.

So I stop by the auto parts store, and gonna grab some new wiper blades. Do you need a phuckin’ PHD to put these damn things on. Maybe it’s because I can’t see straight, but I can’t figure this sh!t out to save my life. So, what do I do? I resort to redneck logic, and break dem bastards off. Got that sh!t fixed. There’s an old saying down here in the south. "There isn’t much a hammer and some duct tape can’t fix"

Ok, don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of women working out, changing their bodies and developing muscle. I’m all for that. But, there are certain aspects of women’s body building that just puzzle the f*ck out of me.

 First, who thought of all these poses? Some of them make the woman look like she has a coat hanger stuck in her back. It can’t be comfortable, and to me is not a nice way to show off the hard work she has been putting in.

 Next comes the tanning. Geez, do you not think we are going a BIT overboard here? The women look more like Oompa Loompa’s then they do tanned, well conditioned bodies. I understand needing some color, but damn!

 Last, girls, please. Some of ya’ll need to look at your suits. The way they are pulled up in the crotch, and no body fat, makes it look like some of ya’ll have been shot in the crotch with a shotgun style pellet gun. Does it really have to be like that to show off your hard work?

 Ok, I’m off my box