Thoughts, Ideas, and quick stabs

Body Statistics

One human hair can support 3 kg (6 lb).
The average man’s penis is three times the length of his thumb.
Human thighbones are stronger than concrete.
A woman’s heart beats faster than a man’s.
There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet.
Women blink twice as often as men.
The average person’s skin weighs twice as much as the brain.
Your body uses 300 muscles to balance itself when you are standing still.
If saliva cannot dissolve something, you cannot taste it.

Women reading this will be finished now.
Men who read this are probably still busy checking their thumbs

Ok, today is a day to remember and to let you into more of my world of the gym. When I first walked in, I knew this was going to be an interesting day. As I got to the bottom of the stairs, there stood “Cell Phone Sally”, and I had to take a double look. I think she must have forgotten what day it was, because I think she still had on her Pooh Bear costume, left over from Halloween. I thought, damn and had to really take a good look. Here she is, in spandex type leggings that showed more panty line in the front than they did in the back. Maybe that’s because she has more out front than in the back, who knows. And a tight fitting tank top, that didn’t come all the way down to cover her Pooh belly. It was just hanging out there. Oh my goodness, good thing I had already eaten.

So I was sitting there working out, and thinking this day couldn’t get any worse, when BAM, it hit me. The Haute Mama’s Spin class had been canceled. So here we are with 15 women not know what the F*CK to do. So they all come out, complaining and yacking. It sounded like a chicken yard when the coyotes go in there. Bawk, bawk bawk. Damn, it was bad, but I was getting a kick out of it. Well, some how they all decided to get on the cardio equipment. Most on the treadmills. One lady (who sounds like a mixture of Demi Moore and Donald Duck) got on one of the treadmills. And apparently it wasn’t working, but damn she was determined to make it work, and stood there pressing buttons and bitching for about 15 minutes. Then got on the one right next to it, and I guess that one didn’t work either, but was determined to make this one work. Standing there for 10 more minutes pressing every button on that machine as well. Finally, deciding it wasn’t’ going to work, she jumped back to the first machine she was one, and started pressing buttons again, 5 minutes, then back to the 2^nd one for 5 more minutes. This went on and on, jumping back and forth from one to the other. (ok, now mind you, there were 3 other TM that weren’t being used.). So after at least 30 minutes, she decided to try one of the others. WOW, it worked, and off she went. Sometimes I want to slap people and tell them the definition of insanity, but I’m not sure they would get it.

Well, at least I had an interesting start to my day.

Guts or Balls…

I hope this clears up any confusion on the definitions. Medically
speaking, there is no difference in the outcome, since both ultimately
result in death…

Ok, back on my soap box for a minute. Some people are just so stupid, and it is really starting to get sad. For a while there, a good friend of mine and I would just kill time laughing at some of the people on this board, but tonight she sent me a picture and it was the last straw. I just have to give everyone notice, I will now start calling you on your ignorance. Not that I’m anything to brag about, but come on. Let me give you a few examples.

* The mess in some of these people’s houses. One lady posted a picture of what looked like was suppose to be a picture of her calves, but I couldn’t get past the mess on the floor. It was/is literally covered with black feathers. Looks like two teams of black birds got loose in the house and decided to play the Super Bowl in there

* Mirrors - has anyone ever heard of cleaning a mirror BEFORE you use it to take a picture of yourself. Damn, ya’ll have so much toothpaste on the mirrors, I can’t believe you ever get any in your mouth.

* Clothes - MY GOODNESS, pick up people. Damn, NUFF SAID

* Pictures - today I saw a picture of an girl, (she was probably attractive), but I couldn’t get past her pose. She was obviously trying to be sexy but her GUT was hanging out. Come on people, take a look. Can you not see fat on your own bodies. Or one girl who posts nothing but pictures of her clevage because she is embarrassed to post anything else. OK, well don’t post anything at all then.

* AND GUYS - geez some of you guys are so pitiful. If a girl posts a picture, no matter what, you rate them a 10, and say how sexy they look. Are you that F’n hard up? Or are you just blind, and your keyboard has brail letters on it? I’m cool with the ol’ grandma saying of not saying anything if you can’t say something nice. But Grandma wasn’t blind, and would never tell you to lie.

* BLOGS - damn people who the F cares what you ate for breakfast? It’s fine if it’s part of a whole blog, or at the bottom like a foot note, but geez every day 100 people write "I had oatmeal and egg whites". Someone be like ShanBl and make my day by writing something interesting or funny. BUT please, don’t be the BLOG SLUT and tell the world how much you like to have sex. I don’t care, and except of the guys that will F a tree if they thought there was a bee hive in it, no one else does either.

 Ok, the old dinosaur is crawling back into his cave.