About to finish the end of the 7 days... incredible to think that already a week has gone by.

Definitely no loss of strength, no fuzzy memory, no complaints at all really. I'm pretty happy with how things have gone so far. Regarding the weight, I am down 6.2lbs in 7 days now, so I imagine it's not going to be as drastic anymore, the water loss is gone, and now I'm actually going to have to WORK for the fat loss, lol! Just have to make sure my cardio and HIIT is on point, because I know that I won't slack when it comes to the ACTUAL workouts or metabolic circuit on the weekend.

push_it reminded me that I don't just have to DRINK the whey; I can cook it in the microwave to make a brownie and mix it with a little water, put it on a pan and make a pancake. So that should DEFINITELY help with the texture thing.

I'm still eating veggies... 400-500g of a day of something green, because I KNOW I need more fiber in the diet. Even with the Solution 5, I guess my body was just so used to a ton of veggies daily + the Fiberlyze and/or the psyllium I was taking. So ya, veggies are in.

So close to the one week mark! I KNOW I can do it!!!

I think my calories have been SLIGHTLY over because of the veggies (had some again today too, for the added fiber), but I'm not concern. I assume I'll finish the week off with a 7lb loss - 99% of it water (given that I started the V-diet with an EPIC 8000 calories binge the night before *bad Jaime*)

Still cravings textures, but since going back to work yesterday, and working 8 - 10 hours a day, I really don't have the time or energy to get hungry. I try not to think about it during the day, too. I just occupy my mind with other stuff. I've been following the workout outlined in the program to a T-as well. I've done two of the three full body workouts (they were AMAZING, and I hit PRs), and I have my first metabolic circuit day this Saturday (or Sunday - which ever day I'm more available). I do recovery cardio (LISS) on the days in between.

10-15lbs is the month is my goal. I'm glad that cals aren't ridiculously low, and the cardio isn't ridiculously high.

I bought about 10L of diet mountain dew in the US yesterday just so my tastebuds can experience something slightly different - it should last about a week, lol!

The diet itself is still going well; I find myself craving veggies though. Maybe it's their texture. Or rather, maybe it's the texture of ANYTHING at this point! I'm down about 5.4lbs since the weigh in on Saturday morning. I still have to take measurements though, and pictures (my digicam is broken... I'm going to have to figure that out). Or not... I wouldn't have a problem with not taking pics for a while...

Btw, 199 days out from the show

I did two full body workouts two days in a row (saturday and sunday) + arms yesterday morning too, so I was exceptionally hungry. I didn't end up having more food though. I am too focused on this goal now; because if I can't do this over the course of 28 days, then I'm not competing, and competing is too important to me.

I'm starting the V-Diet workout plan today, which consists of 3x/week full body stuff (Mon, Wed, Fri) and one weekend day (your choice) of a metabolic circuit. I'm SO GLAD it's full body + MC because it's what I'm used to AND I know it's been proven to be the most effective for fat loss and hypertrophy.

Having my friends around this weekend definitely kept me distracted, and hopefully working 10-12 hours a day for the next 4 weeks will also help keep my brain off of food. After today, I'll be over the three day hump!!!

Day 1 was a BREEZE.

It's REALLY easy to just bag scoops of protein powder and go. I can see the flavors getting boring by next week though, lol. Just have to try and prevent it from messing with my mind too much. I know this is gonna be hard, and I just have to keep reminding myself I can do it.

My biggest problem will be keeping myself occupied when I'm hungry. I NEED to distract myself so I don't go raiding the fridge/freezer/pantry/cupboard. But my mom and boyfriend have been put on high alert to call me out if they see me digging for fishing for stuff, and I have an EPIC collection of movies to watch with the boy should I feel a binge coming on. 1 day done, 27 more to go. EASY!

I guess I should outline the diet for those of you who aren't familiar with it. Essentially, it's based on your weight (the calculations were done for me on the website), and, as I mentioned before, consists only of shakes.
I don't have a ton of $$ for the Biotest supplements, but luckily, I have ones of equal/better quality. Instead of the meals that require flaxseed/peanut butter, I use Scivation's "SOLUTION 5" which already has Sunflower oil, canola oil and MCTs in it. So it's a healthy source of fat in ADDITION to having enough protein in it too. It also contains a blent of fruit/vegetable extracts, which adds to the fiber (3.5g/serving), which means I don't have to buy the benefiber they reccomend.
For the meals that are just low carb protein and leucine, I use SCIVATION WHEY + XTEND.

Meal 1: Solution 5 + Xtend
Meal 2: Whey + Xtend
Meal 3: Whey
Meal 4: Solution 5 + Xtend
Meal 5: Solution 5 + Xtend
PWO: Meal replacement consisting of ~45g carbs + 25g protein

I decided to start a bodyblog as a way to hold myself accountable during my contest prep. This is more like a private journal/diary than my online journal. As long as I have the time and energy, I will be honest in here.

As of tomorrow, I'll be beginning my contest prep with "The Velocity Diet 3.0". I chose this because:
a) It's a detox of sorts. I've been putting crap in my body for 2 years now (my last comp was Nov 08), and I'm really to just clean the gunk out of my system (emotionally and physically). This is an easy diet, and one that's not as taxing on my system as eating junk food all day.

b) It's the ULTIMATE test of dieting willpower. If you've competed before, you'll know that competing is a total mindf***; so I figured, if I can do 28 days of the Velocity Diet, then I can do contest prep. But if I CAN'T handle a measly 4 weeks, then maybe I'm not cut out for this after all.

This will be an awesome new start for me, and I'm excited to see the changes in my body in the upcoming 4 weeks (I'll be following the training plan that goes along with the VD 3.0 as well).

HERE GOES NOTHING!!!!

I started working with Layne Norton at 20 weeks out. It was my birthday present to myself. I competed last year in the same show I plan on doing this year, and I brought a pretty good package: 5"7, 138, ~10% bodyfat. But I came in last, and was excrutiatingly disappointed because I'd taken two years off from competing in order to put on size, and this show was supposed to be my huge debut where I swept the open class and took home a pro card at 21 years old.

 Well, not everything works out perfectly. So I decided two weeks ago that I was going to get revenge and do the same show and show them that my conditioning last year was a fluke; I can beat myself ten fold...I just needed the right coaching and guidance. So far, things have been running smoothly and I'm really confidence with where I'm at. I started dieting at 165lbs at 17 weeks out last year, and this morning, I weighed in at 162 with 19 weeks to go. So I know I'm at LEAST 2 weeks ahead of schedule...I'm definitely going to keep this momentum going!!!

9 weeks out.

Wow. 63 days. Not a lot of time AT ALL! It’s quite nerve wracking actually. I’m trying not to let it get to me, because with stress comes cortisol, and we all know how counterproductive that is; especially during contest prep.

The diet has been going well so far. But I’m encountering some resistance from my body…allow me to elaborate: During my last prep, I had this ‘phenomenon’ whereby I would get up in the middle of the night, go to the kitchen, have a small snack, and then go back to bed. When I’d wake up in the morning, some days I would find an empty jar of peanut butter, an empty box of cereal or even the container that ONCE held chicken for tomorrow’s meals. The scary part was, I couldn’t remember doing ANY of it. I always thought I slept through the night; until I started finding traces of these “night eats” the following morning. It was EXTREMELY off-putting and frustrating, because my diet would be spot on during the day, but then I’d lose my progress by sleep-walking at night. No one could diagnose the issue. I went to a BioSignature modulation expert, who told me I was waking up in the middle of the night because my cortisol was high, and Growth Hormone output (which is secreted in your sleep) was low. She told me to take 10g of Glutaform (Scivation’s Glutamine) before bed. I did that, and the issue went away at about 4 weeks out. But it could have gone away because my body was just so depleted and run down at 4 weeks out that it NEEDED sleep, and overrode any decision to eat at midnight.

The reason I’m telling you guys this is because the “night eats” have come back. I know this whole thing sounds really silly, but I can’t even begin to tell you how frustrating it is for me. I dedicate 2 – 3 hours of my day weight training and cardio, and I METICULOUSLY weigh and measure every morsel that goes into my mouth during my waking hours. So you can imagine how angry and frustrated and UPSET I get over the fact that I can’t control what happens in my sleep. I’m debating trying to the Glutamine protocol again, because I WILL reach my goal by the end of this competition.

Oh! That reminds me, my goals have slightly changed. One of my best friends is a former NPC regional champ, as well as a model, motivation speaker and soon to be published author. We’ve been doing a lot of talking lately about my goals for the future. She’s been in and around the health/fitness industry long enough that I trust and value her opinion. We’ve decided that my goals for the Online Bodybuilding Federation challenge are now slightly different. I'm thinking about doing some fitness modeling, so I’m going to ease back a little on my diet between now and June 3rd. The goal for June is to come in looking like a fitness model (Lose roughly 15 more lbs in 9 weeks), and for JULY, I am going to take it to the next level, and look absolutely, make people do a double-take, ab veins up to your chest, chest veins down to your abs SHREDDED! This way, I can have two different "looks" taken for photoshoots, and then 'the powers that be' can determine which one is more suitable for the mainstream.

So the plan is to come in around 10%bf for June (abs, delts, back), and then 7-8% (abs, delts, back, chest, LEGS!!!) for July. I have 3 competitors that I am training for a July show (1 fitness competitor, 2 male bodybuilders), and I am going to book my shoot for July 10 (the day before the show). So...who knows? If I look good enough, I MAY throw my hat in the ring…I can't afford to slack anymore. There are no more excuses for missed meals, extra calories, protein bars or slacking on cardio. We'll see what happens...
Motivation
This is a great segue into “How to Stay Motivated”.

Last week, it hit me. Like a sledgehammer in the face. REALLY FRICKIN HARD. I ate too much that wasn't part of the plan. It wasn't like an all out food orgy (you might know these 5000 calorie binges). A couple nights ago, I had ~3000 cals (only about 1000 over my usual). What was different this time, was how I FELT while I was eating it....

I was talking about Phoenix Moments with you guys in the last installment, and was thinking that maybe I hadn’t had mine yet for the OBF. I just couldn't find my step, you know? I follow the instructions, but can't see the bigger picture.

A few days ago, I found my answer. I concluded that for the last 2 years, all my eating has been for my mom. I've always blamed her for my failures. We don't exactly have the most solid relationship. In that past, I was happiest when I was in control of my food, and didn't let her little nuances get to me. I needed to find that place inside where it's just me, my discipline and my willpower, rather than my struggle to please her and not feel like I'm worrying her if I diet (I guess that happens when you have an ED for 8 years). See, that was my problem. I was outwardly driven/focused. I was too focused on pleasing HER, that I was neglecting my own feelings. That is to say, if she and I were having a good day, my food would be good. If we were fighting, I'd binge...I'd "get back at her" by destroying my body.

As much as I hate to say it, though it's clear as crystal, the anorexia was TOTALLY inwardly driven. Clearly I wasn't doing it for anyone else but myself. I wasn't thinking about anyone else but myself. It was me and my willpower. I have found that spot again, but at a much healthier place. Trust me. I'd never go back their again.

See, as of last week, neither her, nor our relationship, nor how food is affected by emotions are the focus anymore. My ideal bodyfat, and being comfortable in my own skin vs. wondering what she's thinking when she looks at me is what's important. It's hard to stay focused on your own goals and willpower when they come from within, but easier to do it for someone. However, the problem arises when that someone else screws up...which they WILL ALWAYS inevitably do. And I binge eat so that my mom and my friends won't think I'm slipping into an ed again. But that screws me up big time. A part of competing is disordered eating (NOT to be confused with eating disorders). So I have to learn to live with that, and the questions/comments/concerns about myself. But from now on, it's "Who gives a f***?! They're not living in this body! I AM!!! So I'm going to do with it what I want!" I have found myself again...I have found my own competitive drive.
You all need to find your INNER motivation and drive in order to be successful. Because superficial outside sources are constantly changing and manipulating themselves. They’re unstable and unreliable. But you will always have YOURSELF to count on. Use THAT as your motivation to be the best you can be.

In the next installment of this OBF series, I will talk about how to stay motivated, why we shouldn’t use the term “Weight Loss”, and why social support (like the Forums on bodybuilding.com) could mean the difference between a first place finish and a last place finish. As always, feel free to check out my online journal for daily updates, nutrition, workouts, and information! Jaim91’s journal: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=115155531

Hey guys!!!

I’m 11 weeks out today, and feeling pretty good. I came back from the Arnold Classic a little discouraged because I’d gained weight over the weekend (I blame it on myself…not anyone else. I USED TO have 0 willpower when it came to protein bars, not anymore).

Keep in mind, I was working at the Scivation booth all weekend, and we were SUPER busy selling gym bags and Vasocharge. I will give you an approximate breakdown  of what I ate over the course of the weekend (Friday – Sunday). I kid you not. What you are about to read is EXACTLY what I ate every single day. It totaled roughly 2000 calories, which is about my maintenance level, but ~250 -500 more than I am supposed to eat according to my CHA diet.

Breakfast:
 Entrée size Garden Salad at Bob Evans
2 scoops Scivation Whey protein
2 ounces mixed nuts

Lunch AND Dinner
About 5-6 protein bars (Or ~2lbs of samples from the hundreds of booths)

Midnight Snack
Entrée size Garden salad at wherever Team Scivation was eating (Red Lobster, Bob Evans, Max & Erma’s)

 So there you have it. I am human. I cheat. But as a good friend once told me, “It’s not about falling, it’s about getting back up.” I got back up Monday morning, cleaned up my diet, and haven’t looked back since.
As I told you last week, there are a couple things I want to talk about in this week’s installment of my OBF transformation series. First of all, I took my “BEFORE” pictures last week. If you check out my OBF journal,  I want to let you know in advance that this is NOT what you will see 11 weeks from now. You have my word.

I’m a little embarrassed by what you will see there.  I have, what we like to call in the competition realm “Post-Contest Blues”; it’s the SLIGHT depression that competitors feel because they’re no longer in contest shape. Yes, I understand that for a woman, it’s not necessarily healthy or ideal to maintain contest shape all year round, but I don’t see why that gives me permission to have gained 15 pounds since my last contest. I will touch more on “Maintaining your condition” in a later installment.

CARDIO
 The first point I’d like to touch on is my cardio. I started off at 14 weeks out with 30 minutes, 4 times a week (ie. On weight training days), and High Intensity Interval Training 2 times a week (ie. Tuesdays and Thursdays). For my Steady State cardio, I usually keep my heart rate between 130 – 150bpm, which corresponds to about 65% - 85% of my max heart rate. I use a heart rate monitor most of the time when I’m doing cardio so that I can track how hard I’m working. For SS, I like to use the elliptical, the treadmill or the Stepmill. ANYTHING but the bike. I find that if I spend too much time on the bike, my legs either don’t get cut and stay the same size, or lose a little muscle and end up looking flat. So I avoid that kind of cardio whenever I can. My HIIT protocol involves 15 intervals of 15 seconds work and 45 seconds rest. I then cool down for 5 – 10 minutes at the end. Sometimes, I incorporate something called “TABATA” training instead of my HIIT. That’s when you perform an exercise at MAXIMAL INTENSITY for 20 seconds, then take a 10 second break. Then go another 20 seconds on, and 10 seconds off. You repeat this 8 times for a maximum of 4 minutes total. It’s an amazing way to get a great workout in if you’re pressed for time, but still want to exercise and accelerate your metabolism. As my weight loss plateaus, or if I start to gain, my trainer will increase my cardio as he sees fit.

My Phoenix Moment
I first read about “Pheonix Moment/Theory” from someone named  Chris Sugart. I will quote part of the article here, as I think it’s important for everyone to read. And I know for a fact (and I certainly hoep) that it will resonate with some, if not ALL, of you. It begins, “The pattern of success is clear. Regardless of their primary physique goal — rapid fat loss or massive muscle gain — those who ultimately succeed always begin the same way: They get pissed off.

That's the first stage of what I call Phoenix Theory. In mythology, the phoenix (or Bennu bird) ends its life-cycle by bursting into flame. From its own ashes, the fiery bird is reborn. I've discovered that those who make jaw-dropping physical changes usually follow the same basic path. Their achievement leaves a trail, and you can follow it... if you dare. You see, with all great successes comes a dark side. The Phoenix Theory of body transformation involves four key stages:

1) A traumatic event leading to a sudden realization and awakening
2) Anger and a firm decision to change
3) The physical transformation itself
4) Continued progress fueled by fear of regression”
So basically, the premise is that you need an awakening (be it a rude comment from a co-worker, an objective look at your own reflection, a blood work profile gone awry, etc.) in order to be rebord, and refreshed so that you can truly tackle and OWN the task in front of you. I had my Phoenix Moment at 12 weeks out, and never looked back.

Looking to the Future
My weigh in this week went, more or less, as planned. I lost 1lb. Which isn’t bad, but I set my sights high on losing roughly 1.5 – 2lbs per week. So I asked my trainer if we could bump the cardio up a little, and we did. I’m now on 35 minutes steady state cardio 4x/week, and 2 HIIT days (15 intervals) 2x/week. The good news though, is that my skinfolds and measurements are down; which means that I am losing fat. When doing skinfolds, mere milimetres could mean the difference in a couple %-age points of bodyfat lost. So I know my body is going in the right direction, albeit a little slower than I’d like. I don’t know what my bodyfat percentage is exactly, but at this point, I would hazard a guess that I’m in the early – mid teens (maybe somewhere between 13 – 15%). I can see my abs and my quad cuts are starting to come though. I’m guessing 13 – 15% because the legs are usually a tough and stubborn place for women to lose bodyfat, so I know I’m starting to get lower.
In the next installment of this OBF series, I will talk about how to stay motivated, why we shouldn’t use the term “Weight Loss”, and why social support (like the Forums on bodybuilding.com) could mean the difference between a first place finish and a last place finish. As always, feel free to check out my online journal for daily updates, nutrition, workouts, and information! Jaim91’s journal: http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=4701513
Here are some videos of my workouts this week:
80lb Upright rows
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yVRr4F9oG0
12 pushups with 45lbs on my back
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M_pGU4FGuuw&feature=related
Rear Delt pulls with 60lbs/hand
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5I16iPoofQ&feature=channel_page

Hey everyone!
As I write this, I’m 13 weeks out from the OBF Spring Spectacular, and one day away from my trip to the Arnold Classic. I should mention that I have all my food for the weekend packed, as I don’t want to take any chances at this point in the competition with not having the time to go grocery shopping for my diet. What IS my diet, you ask?
This is a great segue to introduce what I’m doing in terms of a nutrition plan for my competition.
I’m a Certified bonafide member of the “Carb Haters Anonymous” Club. I know I may receive some backlash for what I’m about to post, but you have to remember that I’ve been dieting for a while now (on and off), and I know what works best for my mind and my body. Yes, I’m 21, and yes, I have a fast metabolism and train hard. So in theory, carbohydrates WOULD BE an okay source of fuel for my body. However, when I’m using them to diet or bulk, I just don’t feel as lean or as energetic.  And so, the majority of my calories come from fats and proteins, with my only carb meal of the day coming from oatmeal post workout. See, carbs add up fast. We know that consuming 400grams of Fruity Pebbles cereal can be done in a heartbeat. This leads to the famous CRASH that occurs when your blood sugar drops after these carbs have come and gone out of your system. This is usually what causes people to have to nap after lunch at their desk at work.
I am one of those people.  I have read enough studies, and done enough self-experimentation to know that for me, Scivation’s CHA (Carb Haters Anonymous) diet provides the finest fuel for my body and mind. I’m about to use a cliché here, but bare with me for a second…For me, comparing carbs to fat for energy is kind of like comparing automobile gasoline. If carbs are 87 octane, then fats are racing fuel! While a racing car can probably run on 87 octane, it will not be running optimally. But on racing fuel, BOOM, pure SPEED AND POWER. The same goes for your fat burning and muscle building and preserving engine. Give it carbohydrates and it will surely run, but then it will CRASH! Give it HEALTHY fats, and you have yourself a lean, mean, fat burning and muscle building MACHINE! I want to be that lean, mean fat burning machine.
I should add, however, that I still consume an abundance of veggies (mostly broccoli, green beans and brussel sprouts) to get my vitamins, minerals and phytonutrients. These veggies also help with the acid/base balance in my body, which I consider crucial for optimal health. Not to mention, they really help with satiation!
A typical day’s diet for me:
1600 Calorie Plan

Hey guys and gals!
I’m back with the second installment of my Road to the OBF Spring Spectacular competition. In the first installment, I gave you an introduction, told you a little bit about myself, where I come from, what I’m doing, and where I’m going. I also included some pictures describing my “journey” from anorexia to amateur level bodybuilder.
As of writing this piece, I’m exactly 14 weeks out and couldn’t be more pumped. The competition officially starts in 2 weeks, but I wanted to get a headstart on the dieting process because I haven’t trained or dieted “Contest Prep style” since my last show in November. So I decided to slowly start easing into it 2 weeks ago. The way I see it, is that this isn’t just a Transformation Challenge; it’s a competition. I’m not getting up in a posing suit against other competitors with Dream Tan and PAM, but I am trying to beat out at least a dozen other hardcore females who are probably working and dieting just as hard as me. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dieting a little longer, and trying to bring the best package I can. No one has ever been penalized for being TOO conditioned, right? Right?  *Fingers Crossed*
Training
I’m currently using the Antagonistic Training Sytem (A.T.S. for short), created by Derek Charlesbois. As I stated before, this is my second week on the plan, and I LOVE it so far. I will give you a little explanation of what A.T.S. involves. The norm when it comes to bodybuilding training is to focus on one main muscle group per workout; you know, people have chest day, back day, arm day, etc. In addition, working large muscle groups like back and chest together is often discouraged because people tend to think that you can’t stimulate one larger muscle group enough if it has to share time/volume with another. Contrary to this latter belief, Derek thinks working muscles with opposite actions (antagonists) together is a very productive way to train. What he means is not a super-set per se, but rather alternating between sets of antagonist muscle groups, resting between sets. For example, performing one set of bent over rows, resting one minute, performing one set of bench press, resting one minute, then start over, going back to bent over rows. Using this strategy of muscle pairing he created a workout program called The Antagonistic Training System (A.T.S.)
Utilizing A.T.S. not only saves you time in the gym by allowing you to work two muscle groups in the time it normally takes to work one muscle group, but studies say it may also increase your performance. While your back is working, your chest relaxes. And vice versa. So after a hard set of chest, your back will be somewhat more relaxed, and ready to lift a heavy load again.
For A.T.S. we are going to increase the number of sets per exercise each week just like on The Scivation Tri-Phase Training Program:
Week 1 = 2 X 6-10
Week 2 = 3 X 6-10
Week 3 = 4 X 6-10
Week 4 = Start back over at 2 sets per exercise
Increasing the number of sets per exercise each week will challenge the body, leading to accelerated gains in muscle growth. In addition to increasing the number of sets per exercise each week, I will always strive to increase the weight/load you lift. This is another key factor to muscle growth. I will run the cycle for 6-9 weeks.
Monday- Back & Chest Antagonist Workout
 

Wednesday- Biceps & Triceps Antagonist Workout plus Forearms
 

Friday- Quadricep & Hamstring Antagonist Workout
 

Saturday- Delts & Traps/Mid-Back/Rear Delts Workout & Core
The shoulders and traps are not “true” antagonistic muscle groups, but due to the setup of this program, they will be paired together and I will still alternate between sets for each muscle.
 

What am I doing?
 

As of the writing of this article, I am 100 days-8 hours-58 minutes (Thank you, Facebook Countdown), from the Online Bodybuilding Federation’s Slamming Spring Spectacular Competition (www.obfbodybuilding.com). The competition officially starts March 9 – 13, and ends May 31 – June 3. There are two categories “Bulking” and “Transformation”. I will be entered into the Female Transformation category, as I’m planning a serious, 14.5 week cut. Contest prep style, ladies and gents. Just because I’m not getting up on a real stage doesn’t mean this isn’t a real competition. Quite the contrary. This is serious.
 

Why am I doing this?
 

Maybe you’ve thought about competing before. Maybe you’ve thought about taking your physique to the next level. Maybe you want to join the ranks for that 1% of people who take their weight training, dieting and cardio so seriously, that they want to show it off to the public by means of a competition. Or maybe you’re already a competitor, and you’re bitten by “The Bug.” I fall into the last category. I can’t get enough of the stage.
 

A Little History: Who Am I?
It’s ironic that the pastime that brought me to bodybuilding is the same past-time that
almost killed me 8 years ago.
In the year 2000, when I was 13, I was going through the same thing that most girls were
going through; body image issues, self-esteem issues, boy problems, puberty and all that
fun stuff. My problem was that the body image issues hit me harder than it did most girls.
It went from counting calories, to restricting calories, to purging calories through
exercise. It was an unhealthy lifestyle that consumed every iota of my being from the
time I was 13 until I was 15. For those 3 years, I was getting progressively smaller and
smaller, but no one would say anything because I was still so young and the subject was
taboo. My mother and father begged me to eat, but I was genuinely scared of gaining an
ounce. I weighed myself compulsively, and couldn’t walk past a mirror without checking
myself out from the side to make sure I was smaller than the last time I looked.
At 15, it got to the point where I was hospitalized for 40 days in an inpatient unit and
spent an additional two months at an outpatient clinic. I decided that 3 years of the illness
was enough; I thought my demons were banished. Once I got out of hospital, I decided to
take up weightlifting. I wanted to turn my new mass into muscle. Unfortunately, I had no
one to mentor me or teach me the rules of lifting. So I did what most women at my gym
were doing…cardio. Every morning at 5am, and every night at 7pm, I would sneak off to
the gym around the corner from my house because my parents didn’t want me burning
any additional calories. I also exercised during my lunch hour at school.
Needless to say, it wasn’t the most constructive way to get through grade 11 and start off
grade 12. It was in January that I started poking around on bodybuilding.com. I also had to start thinking about what I wanted to major in when I went to university in September. I found kinesiology. It was a match made in heaven. I could learn all day about physiology, anatomy, nutrition, Fitness Assessment and then graduate with a degree that made me a “Professional” Personal trainer. It was around the same time that my friends, who were now worrying about my health, started telling me how lean and small I was getting. Rather than taking this to heart and doing some productive about it, I took it as a compliment, and used it as fuel for my raging fire.
I decided to compete in a bodybuilding show in June of 2005, my graduating year. I was
hard as rock and as lean as a twig. The mirror, which was NOT my friend at this point,
had convinced me that I looked more like Jay Cutler than Kate Moss, and that it was my
destiny to shine on-stage. I was 5”7, 104 lbs and 5% bodyfat. I won that show, and
unfortunately, was bitten by the competitive bug. I wanted more. So I went on to do 7 more shows in the course of 2 years.
It wasn’t until my last show in October of 2006 that I realized something was wrong; one
of the highly respected judges, who had taken the effort to get my cell phone number
from the contest promoter, called me to ask if I was O.K., and if I was eating. He told me
I had amazing potential for this sport, but people couldn’t see past the frail looking girl
onstage. I just sat in my car with tears streaming down my face, because what I was
doing finally hit m. My friends had abandoned me, my parents were scared that they were going to lose me and the sport that I loved didn’t have a place for me anymore. It was time to make a change, for real this time. I promised myself that I would not compete for as long as it took to get myself healthy. I started on a long and arduous journey, otherwise known as, a bulk. From October of 2006 to July of 2008 I ate an average of 3000 calories a day, mostly coming from clean carbs like oatmeal and sweet-potatoes, and complete protein sources like ground beef and
chicken. I subsequently went from my lowest weight of 96 pounds, with 4% bodyfat, to
165 pounds with 16% bodyfat. I was still relatively lean, but nowhere near where I wanted to be for a competition. It was time to enlist the help of professionals who knew that they were doing.
The Derek Charlesbois section in the bodybuilding.com forums always struck me as
something like an Elite club of friends. Everyone was so helpful, encouraging and
dedicated, I was almost scared to approach them, but I did, because I knew that Team
Scivation was the best, and I needed the best. Within weeks of my working with Derek,
my physique was undergoing changes that I’d never have expected. I couldn’t stop
talking about how happy I was to be working with such a solid, genuine Team. I competed in my first show in 2 years at a LEAN 138lbs with 8 – 10% bodyfat.
Still to come
In next week’s installment of my prep for the OBF competition, I’ll show you some recent YouTube videos of myself, and give you a little insight into my diet and training regimens for the beginning of this prep.

Welcome to the Bodybuilding.com BodyBlogs. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!