j_c’s BodyBlog

Finally, the passion I felt before running 52.4 miles on several weekends is back in my body. That need to get to the gym every morning. The ability to tell myself that sleep will be there when I need it, but only after I work out. The drive to get where I want to be and not letting get in my way. I got it.

It has been a week and I have to tell you ever since my last marathon, I have lost all motivation to work out, run, or do anything. I have no idea where it went. I do know that I cannot get enough sleep. When I wake up to go to the gym, my first instinct is to talk myself out of it. For some reason "sleepy logic" is far stronger that complete "consciousness logic". Now for those of us with about 15 pounds, maybe 20 this logic is not very conducive to be productive in the weight room. As a matter of fact while sleep is a much needed factor in muscle growth and repair, it is counter productive to morning workouts. As a matter of fact it is a pain in the ass. I think I have the biggest love hate relationship with sleep. I don’t want to go home to go to sleep, because that means the day is over. But I never want to wake up. If there is one person I would ever cheat on my significant other with, it is the bed.

I ran the Columbus marathon last Sunday. That’s right, my second marathon with in a month. Three weeks apart. I decided to give my body the week off due to my physical state and I think it is messing with my mental state. I feel lees enthusiastic about life, I’m a lot edgier, and I cant seem to get enough sleep. I think it is official. I have gone completely insane. All I want to do is run more, but I need to get the fat loss back underway. I think my diet is pretty much under control, actually its to the point that if I eat a crappy meal, I immediately feel it. Now, all I need is to get up in the morning at get my ass to the gym. There in lies the rub. I don’t have an automatic "push me out of bed" machine, all I have is my brain. And I have to tell you my brain can be pretty convincing when it comes to staying in bed. It could probably sell sand to a beach. That is quite possibly the stupidest analogy I have ever written, and yet I am going to leave it there. So with that note I am going to leave you wondering "will I ever get these 2-3 minutes back from reading this?" Probably not, but if you are having trouble getting enthused to get to the gym, you are not alone. And if you want to yell at me to get my ass up and to the gym. Go right ahead. I could use a little support.

I ran 13 miles this morning, and instead of falling over dead for some reason I feel great. My legs gave out before my lungs did, which is a good sign. Granted I am running the Akron Marathon next weekend, but still it is very reassuring that I can at least go that long. I also realized during that run, I had no water on the run, and no food before I ran. 13 damn miles. Oy.

Never fails, I start getting back into my grove of 4:30 am workouts and I am feeling pretty good about my self. When low and behold, my responsibilities at work lead me into the darkside. I have a brewmasters dinner tonight that I am putting on, and of course, each course is paired with beer. For the past several months I have really cut my alcohol intake to one, maybe two nights a week and I feel that it has made the world of difference. I mean, I have been eating really well for a long time, but my work as a brewer means beer is pretty much a daily occurance. Then I had a point of working out, that I felt I was really changing, which switch a flip in my head making me want to cut out all evil from hindering my progress. This included beer. But I became a brewer for the reason of beer, and not just beer, but really good beer. All of that deliciousness kind of lead me to my state of 215 lbs. So tonight, I simply look at this indulgence as a simple hiccup in my plan to greatness. I have to, or else I am gonna go nuts. I can’t stand when crap gets in the way of my goals.

I had another one of those weeks. I simply could not get out of bed. I went for 2 months straight without missing a 4:30am workout. I felt great everyday, i saw change every week. I loved it. Now, 2 out of the last 3 weeks I have not gotten out of bed until the last minute before work and put off my workouts until a later time in the day. and half-assed workouts too. Sure, I bitch and I complain. But I think more of that is frustration towards myself for not getting out of bed when I should have. This sucks. Now I can’t work out for the rest of the day because of family coming in before the end of work, leaving me no time to work out. Crap.

Anybody wanna be my virtual workout partner? Some one I would have to report to everyday saying that I got up and worked out? That might help me get my ass out of bed. I am one of those people that can’t lie about things without feeling copious amounts of guilt. So I would more than likely be very honest about my workouts.

Granted I should want to do this for myself, and not need to report to anybody to get my ass out of bed and change. The fact that I don’t like what i see should be enough for me to get out of bed. But I don’t know why it’s not enough. It’s very odd. Damn I have issues, but I am a very good self-psychiatrist, don’t you think?

How the hell are these people doing this?

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/male-transformation-zachary-savoie.htm

I have been eating like this for 2 years and I cannot make a dent! I track my nutrition every day. These guys are eating 3000 calories aday. Im not close to this, but why is my body clutching onto this fat and not letting go? I talked to a nutritionist and they said my diet was fine, and that I should be losing weight. But alas, my F*@king body won’t let go. THIS F@#KING IS MAKING ME NUTS!!!!!!!!!!!

Now that I got that out of my system, I feel much better.

Carb cycleing huh? Apparently I am not eating enough carbs. This, I don’t get. But one needs energy to push through the workouts. So now that I have learned this little fact, we are goign to go ahead and try to work with this little change. I hope that this works. Dear lord and all things holy/powerful/almighty…and whatever, I hope this works.

It was a good run. I took the battle head on and thought I was making head way. But alas. I was not. Took the old caliper test today, and am back up to roughly 16% bodyfat when I was down to 11%. or so. WHAT THE F@#K!!!!! I have one cheat meal a week. I workout everyday. Except Saturdays and Sundays due to 15 hr work days. Why am I the only person I know that cannot lose bodyfat. I eat really well everyday. I use supplements. and low and behold, my body turns around and says F you fat body, we are staying this way!!!!! Now I know what you are going to say. "Stop whinning and get working!" or, something of that nature. Well f off my friends becasue if you could see what I do whan I work out you would know that I put all I can into it. How the **** do these transformation people do it? How come they can lose weight, and I get stuck being the fat ass? FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU*****
************KKK!

My whole quest, and reason for joining this website was to lose fat. I hate fat. It’s the one thing I have had my whole life, and I hate it. I have never been comfortable taking my shirt off, going to the beach, or even being naked in the bedroom. I hate my fat and I want it gone. Well, I was down to 185 (from 205) at one point on my 2 year quest to lose fat. and it was a struggle to get there. It was more than a struggle, it has been an epic battle. frustrating beyond belief to say the least. So after the Muscle tech contest this past winter/spring and not being able to lose a pound, I almost gave up. I mean it shouldn’t take two years to lose 20lbs of fat. I almost gave up, almost. I mean I see guys lose copious amounts of fat in three months, and look totally different. From gut to abs in 90 days. I couldn’t believe it, and more than that, it pissed me off to no end that for some reason I am not able to shed fat as fast as these other guys. What makes them so special? So for some reason this past spring I really looked at my diet. Low and behold, I should have been eating about a 1000 calories more. 1000!!! I don’t know about you but that is frightening. The last thing I want to do is to put weight back on. But I went ahead and started eating more any way. My BMR is 3500 (with exercise) and I started eating about 2600 calories, along with drinking a gallon of water a day. well I went from 185 about 18% bodyfat, to 192 and 12% body fat in almost 3 months.  So that means in 3 months I have gained 17 lbs of muscle. I gotta say, for as much as I have changed, I am not really sure why that I am still overly bothered by the "192" number. I guess it is still stuck in my head that higher weights, means more fat. Call me crazy, but I would gladly give up gaining any more muscle, to get rid of all of this fat. But it’s an even trade of fat for muscle, and I’ll take it.