isabelhotrod’s BodyBlog

AS I GO IN A VERY LONG JOURNEY IN LIFE… I SEEM TO FEEL THAT I HAVE STUMBLE IN LIFE AND CAN’T GO ON. I FORCE MYSELF TO MOVE PAST THAT POINT IN LIFE. SOMETHING IN ME HAS BEEN CRUSH AND CAN’T BE PUT TOGETHER. SLOWLY I SEEM TO DRIFT AWAY FROM THE THINGS THAT I LOVE IN LIFE.

NO ONE CAN FIGURE ME OUT, AND I TRY NOT TO TURN AWAY FROM THE ONES THAT I LOVE. IT’S VERY HARD FOR ME TO EVEN OPEN MYSELF UP, BUT YET I TEND TO TRY TO DO SO TO RELEASE THE PAIN WITHIN ME. AS I GATHER MY THOUGHTS IN LIFE, I SEEM TO BE TWISTED AND TORN FROM WHAT I HAVE BEEN FACED WITH IN LIFE.

LOSING THE ONE I LOVED SO MUCH IN LIFE PUT A HUGE HOLE IN MY HEART. HIS VOICE STILL HAUNTS ME AND I SEEM TO VISION HIM FROM TIME TO TIME. I TRY SO HARD TO KEEP MYSELF BUSY AND NOT WONDER ON IT. IF I DID, I WOULD BE THINKING IF ONLY I HAD DONE THINGS DIFFERENTLY… HE’D BE HERE WITH ME.

AND YET I ALSO HAVE ANOTHER LOVE ONE THAT HAUNTS ME DAY FROM DAY, WE ARE MILES AWAY AND IN DIFFERENT CITIES . YET HE HAS NO IDEA OF HOW MUCH I’D DO FOR HIM JUST TO HAVE HIM NEAR BY. AS HE COMES INTO MY MIND, I TEND TO WAIT FOR HIS CALL. WHEN HE DOES REACH ME…IT’S ONE THAT I DON’T WANT TO END AT ALL….

HOW DO YOU TELL THAT PERSON AND HOW CAN YOU PROVE TO THEM THAT YOUR SERIOUS ABOUT THEM? THE FACT THAT HE TENDS TO THINK THERE ARE OTHERS AND THAT HE ISN’T WHAT I WANT IN LIFE JUST SEEMS TO BLEED WITHIN ME. IF I’D BE GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY I’D DROP EVERYTHING AND RUN INTO HIS ARMS.

YET HE DOESN’T BELIEVE ME AND NOT A WORD I’D SAY TO HIM. HE’S DRIFTED FROM ME AND WON’T GIVE ME THE CHANCE THAT I DESERVE TO PROVE TO HIM THAT IT’S HIM WHO I CHOSE TO BE WITH. I SENSE AND HAVE KNOWN THERE IS A ONE THAT IS MEANT TO COME INTO MY  LIFE…. AND AS THIS YEAR IS ABOUT TO MARK A YEAR OF ANNIVERSARY FOR US… I AM SO HAPPY THAT I MEET HIM THRU HERE…. I THANK BODYSPACE FOR GIVING ME SOMEONE VERY SPECIAL IN MY LIFE….

MAYBE SOMEDAY HE WILL READ THIS AND KNOW THAT IT WAS HIM ALL ALONG THAT STOLE MY HEART…. AND SOMEDAY WE SHALL MEET AND THERE WILL BE A HAPPY ENDING FOR US.. FOR I KNOW THAT HE’S THE ONE AND THAT HE’S THE MAN THAT I DESIRE TO SPEND THE LAST OF MY DAYS WITH AS I GROW OLD IN LIFE….

I KNOW HE ALSO HAS A LIFE, BUT THAT THE ONE THAT HE HAS IS NOT THE RIGHT ONE FOR HIM… HE’S MISSING SOMETHING IN LIFE, AND I HOLD WHAT HE’S MISSING. FOR THAT REASON HE HAS THE KEY AND ONLY HE HOLDS IT. AS I TEND TO TRAIN AND GET MYSELF ALL TOGETHER AND MY THOUGHTS, THERE ISN’T A DAY THAT HE DOESN’T ENTER MY MIND… HE’LL ALWAYS BE ON MY MIND AND HEART…

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THIS IS FOR YOU…THE ONE… SOMEDAY YOU’LL COME ACROSS AND KNOW THAT I WAS ALL ALONG TELLING YOU THE TRUTH, THAT YOU ARE THE ONE FOR ME….

TOU ALWAYS…. FA…………………..

I HAVE BEEN ON A LONG JOURNEY… EVERY SINCE I WAS YOUNG… YES I HAD MY FALLS IN LIFE…BUT IT ONLY MADE ME  A MUCH MORE STRONGER WOMAN THAT EVER IN LIFE.

IF I’D HAD NOT GONE THRU WHAT I WENT IN LIFE IN MY YOUTH…I WOULDN’T BEEN ABLE TO COPE WITH WHAT’S AHEAD OF ME..FOR EVERY FALL THAT I HAD IN LIFE… GOD WAS ALWAYS BY MY SIDE TO HELP ME GET BACK UP.

I CAN NOT EXPRESS THE WORDS THAT FILL MY HEART..ONLY JOY AND KNOWING THAT HAPPINESS IS AROUND THE CORNER. TO MY DELIGHT I’VE HAD A WONDERFUL LIFE THESE PAST 18YRS TO MAKE UP FOR THE LAST 19YRS OF LIFE I HAD AS AN INFANT GROWING UP…

IM VERY WELL AWARE OF WHAT THE FUTURE HAS FOR ME…PERHAPS BECAUSE I’VE BEEN WORKING VERY HARD TO ADVANCE AND SUCCEED IN LIFE. BACK THEN I WAS NOT SURE OF WHAT TOMORROW HAD FOR ME….

NOW I’M VERY SURE OF WHAT TOMORROW HAS FOR ME… A MUCH MORE BLESSING IN LIFE… GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME… AND HE ALWAYS HAS AN ANGEL AROUND ME TO GUIDE ME IN LIFE… I AM A  VERY STRONG BELIEVER..AND I BELIEVE THAT GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE WHO HAVE A GOOD HEART…

THRU MY UPS AND DOWNS, AND THRU MY HEARTACHES IN LIFE… SOMETIMES SAYING GOOD BYE TO THINGS OR PEOPLE WHO DON’T SEEM TO BENEFIT YOU IS A GOOD THING IN LIFE.. IT MAKES YOU A STRONGER PERSON AND MUCH MORE OF A PERSON WITH MORE WILLINGNESS AND EAGER TO GO OUT THERE AND BE MORE OF A HIGHER PERSON THAN YOU WERE BEFORE…

I’VE HAD PEOPLE IN THE PAST LIFETIME THAT WANTED TO BRING ME DOWN AND MAKE ME GO DOWN ON MY KNEES.. AND FOR EACH DROP OF PAIN OR TEAR I SHARED IT JUST BROUGHT ME TO THIS LEVEL WHERE IM AT… THE MORE THE INSULTS THE MORE LIGHT CAME MY WAY..AND WITH IT STRENGTH TO OVERCOME THOSE WHO TRIED IN VEIN TO BRING ME DOWN!!

AND NOW IM ON TOP OF THE GAME AND WITH IT I’M ON A ROLL… ONE THAT NO ONE NOR ANYBODY CAN STOP ME…. NOW THAT IT’S ALL SAID AND DONE..IT’S BEEN A GOOD RIDE FOR ME..AND IT ONLY GETS BETTER FOR ME…

AND ALL I CAN SAY..THAT THE BEST IS STILL TO COME…. I HAVE BEEN BLESSED WITH LOVING PEOPLE AND FRIENDS ON THIS SITE..AND I THANK GOD FOR ALL OF THOSE WHO HAVE COME INTO MY LIFE… FOR YOUR THE REASON THAT I’VE CLIMBED THAT MOUNTAIN UP…THANKS TO ALL OF YOU…

I’M ONE THAT WILL NEVER FORGET MY FRIENDS AND WHEN THE TIME COMES THAT I GRADUATE FROM COLLEGE IN FALL 2010 AND ENTER THE SUPREME COURTS AND MY BOOK IS PUBLISHED….I’LL ALWAYS BE ISABEL … THE ONLY AND ONLY WHO HUMBLES HERSELF TO OTHERS…

XOXO ALWAYS

ISABELHOTROD