illilian’s BodyBlog

Oh man,  it just dawned on me: I am 8 months out from my first competition.  I know, I know… i should calm down and take it day by day.  And after this first competition, things will go easier in my mind.  But it’s my first comp and I’m worried.  There’s so much size I want to add before stepping on stage.  I worried that once I cut down to the 6 or whatever percent, I’m gonna look like a twig.  Being 6′5" I’m worried I’m not gonna fill out enough during this bulking time.  My diet is awesome, I am putting on weight.. but it’s still in the front of my mind, this tooth pick walking out on stage.  Who is he? and what is he doing here?

Man, those last thoughts are aweful and so not true.  I work my ass off in the gym… and the moment I step on stage, it will be awesome.  I can’t wait for October to arrive.  It’s gonna be killer.

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