Never Settle For Less

I’m back with another version of the Motivational Thoughts series.  These are quotes I think of to inspire, push, and motivate myself.  It’s always fun to share them with others and see what they get out of it.  Enjoy!

1. Failure makes success taste that much better.
2. Constant complaining is terrible for 2 reasons:
1. No one really cares
2. It never ever improves your situation
3. Open yourself up to criticism and you’ll be surprised at what you may learn.  Don’t worry it can’t ALL be negative
4. It’s funny how thinking for yourself can earn you every label between loser and CEO.
5. All pain is perceived before it is believed.
   

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Inside the Mind of a Sprinter

Put yourself inside the mind of an Olympic sprinter right before a race takes place.  Since childhood you’ve dreamed of this moment and its finally here.  All your blood, sweat, tears, weight training, and mental preparation are about to pay off.  As you shed your warm up gear you and your coach connect eyes for a split second.  He smiles, gives you a nod, and waves you off to the starting line.

The other sprinters are already in place as you take your lane.  You take your final glance around the stadium and then get into your stance.  Instinctively your ears perk up as you await the starter’s gun.  Every muscle in your body tightens with anticipation.  Right before you can relax it happens.

On your marks…get set…GO!

Your feet tap the pavement quickly and you begin to separate yourself from the pack.  Halfway through the race the crowd roars.  Out of the corner of your eye you see another sprinter coming even with you.

What do you do?

Do you fold and let him win, remain nonchalant and hope for the best, or dig deep and pull out the victory?

By the end of this article I plan on giving you the information needed to dig deep and compete to win.

Barriers to Competition

For millions of years humans have been competing. By competing I don’t necessarily mean a sporting event or a battle.  It can simply be a disagreement of principles or ideas.

Even though the urge to compete is an essential part of our being many of us take the easy road and avoid it.  Competition is avoided for 2 reasons:

1. Aversion to Conflict
2. Fear of Failure

Aversion to Conflict

It’s amazing when you realize what is considered a conflict these days.  If you form and stick to an opinion that isn’t shared by others then you just may be labeled “disagreeable”, “antagonistic”, or “unpleasant”.  Even if you know the building is going to explode in 5 minutes you shouldn’t tell anyone.  That’s not being very PC .

Have we become so obsessed with “goodness” that we turn a blind eye when something actually needs to be addressed?
It makes me smile when I hear “We can’t talk about that”,”You might not want to say that”, or “What did you just say !?!?”.  These are signs that we’ve stopped tap dancing and starting getting to the root of the issue.  Heads may be rolling but at least things are getting figured out.  What’s so “unpleasant” about that?

Fear of Failure

That little voice in our head can get to the best of us.  It’s remarkably easy to let fear of the unknown totally dominate your life.  Look at the bad things that could happen to us out in the world:

• You could lose money
• You could be rejected
• You could fall flat on your face
• You could lose credibility
• Your may end up with nothing to show for it
• You could end up on YouTube with less money, rejected, flat on your face, less credible, nothing to show for it, with some apple pie on your face

OH NO! The apocalypse is coming.
Seriously, any failure in competition is temporary and should be treated as such. When I was 11 years old I cost my football team a regular season game.  Near the end of the game I threw 2 interceptions that sealed the deal.  I thought the world was going to collapse upon my tiny shoulders.  3 hours after the game I stopped crying due to lack of water in my body.

The sting of that loss stayed with me for a few days.  I moved around the house with little interest in anything beyond moping.  After my father tired of it he basically told me in his straight forward fashion  “suck it up, it’s not the end of the world, move on”.  It wasn’t the nicest thing he’s ever said but it was definitely effective.
People tend to make mountains out of mole hills when it comes to those things they fear.  I just don’t think fears should dominate us.  When you run across something that scares you ask yourself one simple question:

“What good comes from being afraid?”

The answer: “none”.

Avoid letting aversion of “conflict” and fear of failing bury your competitive spirit.  Keeping that competitive spirit alive will always do more for society than letting it die (no matter how large or small the impact).

Competition is Natural

Look around you at all the competition going on:

1. Coke vs Pepsi
2. Yahoo! vs Google
3. Home Depot vs Lowe’s
4. Wal-Mart vs Target
5. Microsoft vs Apple
6. McDonald’s vs Burger King
7. Yankees vs Red Sox
8. MySpace vs Facebook
9. HBO vs Showtime
10. Disney World vs Six Flag

This list could easily go on for days.  I’m sure you get the picture.  Without competition our society would not enjoy the benefits we have in the past,enjoy today, or will enjoy in the future.  Shouldn’t you embrace your competitive side and add your value?

Conclusion

Embrace competition in your life.  Whether it be a simple dispute or an all out sporting event.  The positives will outweigh the negatives . Feelings may be hurt temporarily but the lessons that come along with those feelings last a lifetime.  Competition, conflicts, or whatever you choose to call them bring the best out of people.

Don’t be afraid to step out there and expose yourself.  Only then will you know where you truly stack up and how to improve upon your current situation.

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April  19, 1993

Waco, Texas

This day is forever etched in American history.  Seventy-nine people including 21 harmless children died.   Those 79 deaths where the culmination of a 51 day siege at the Branch Davidian Ranch in Mount Caramel.

The natives of the Branch Davidian Ranch were a part of a religious sect by the same name.  They believed that the second coming of Jesus Christ was imminent and their leader, David Koresh, was the last real prophet to ever grace the earth.   Under the guidance of Koresh  they  gathered at Mount Caramel to await  their savior’s return.

David Koresh was a notoriously charismatic leader.  Koresh used his charisma to get inside the minds of his followers.  Amongst other things he preached:

• Polygamy for himself
• He was to be worshiped as God
• The natural parents of his followers were dogs
• He had the authority and wisdom to undermine any relationship (family, friend, spousal) that he chose

His vile personality was so strong that  the members began to believe him and listen to his claims of being the living messiah.  They felt so strongly that they were willing to die for him. Seventy nine people did just that.

On February 28, 1993 the ATF began a siege of Mount Carmel.  4 Agents and 6 Davidians were murdered that day. This would mark the beginning of a historic event.  The incredible siege went on for 51 more days with Koresh’s followers always remaining by his side.

On day 51 the final assault on the compound was ordered..  CS gas (a riot control agent) was launced in the Branch Davidian complex.  The gas caught fire and began to roast the Branch Davidian complex.  As their safe house burned to the ground Koresh’s followers stood by their leader in solidarity.  With death staring them in the faces several of the adults shot childeren and then took their own lives.  Others chose the excruciating option of burning to death in support of their beliefs.  When it was all said and done 79 people suffered useless deaths.  All because of something David Koresh made up.

So what does this have to do with you?

You weren’t at that compound.  You obviously didn’t choose to die in a fire in support of a crazed madman.  In all likelihood you think the story is outlandish, crazy, and ridiculous!  Hopefully you do.  If so I’ve struck a chord.

I purposefully used a dramatic example to bring a point to the surface.  Our beliefs DEFINE our existence.  Every day we live out our beliefs.  Whether they be spiritual, financial, physical, educational, or mechanical they’re unavoidable.  Beliefs are as natural and important to life as breathing.

With that said answer these questions for yourself:

• What beliefs do you hold near and dear to your heart?
• Why do you believe so strongly in these things?
• Are they realistically helping or hurting you in your relationships with others?
• If they are hurting you why aren’t you letting them go?

Your beliefs are may not be as dramatic as the Branch Davidians but they still have a greater impact on your life than you may notice.  Take a moment to think about your system.  Clean yourself up in areas where your beliefs may be holding you back, making you unhappy, or not serving the greater good of society.  We all owe that to ourselves and everyone around us.

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Little is the most toxic word in the English language.  It’s in all our vocabularies and it rolls off the tongue without any thought or effort.  At the surface the word seems harmless, but a closer look reveals just how crippling the word Little really is.

Definition

Effects

For example

• I’ve started this Little health kick = I’m slightly interested in my health and I’ll likely let it go at the first opportunity.
• I’ve started this Little company on the side = I’m dabbling in something and I’m not fully confident it will work.
• I went to Chris’ Little presentation on sales = Chris is a peer (not an executive) so his ideas can’t possibly hold as much weight.
• I had this Little idea on how to help the department = I have an undeveloped idea that I’d like to express.  Please listen to me.

See what happens?

Just by uttering the word Little you immediately belittle your topic and steal power from its purpose.  You might as well set that idea on fire with gasoline and a match because its toast.
I know of 5 people in my immediate memory that have gone on Little health kicks, weight loss plans, or diets.  None of them have lost any significant weight.  Each and every one of them had all the information necessary to lose weight.  Each and every one of them labeled their efforts Little.

Similarly, I know plenty of people who have had Little businesses on the side for years.  The businesses generate very little traction, leads, or sales.  These are all very bright people who’ve fallen prey to Little thinking.  Whenever we discuss their business they find a way to sneak in a synonym of Little in the description.

Lack of Respect?

Little is a disrespectful word.  When aimed at yourself or others its equally toxic.
It’s a terrible thing to say about someone else’s projects, goals, efforts , or dreams.  Think not?   What’s worse than  saying someone else’s goals are undeveloped, insignificant, or weak?

Calling your own projects, goals, efforts, or dreams Little is self-sabotage plain and simple.  Why would anyone disrespect themselves in this way?

Conclusion

Using the word Little is an easy trap to fall into.  The word seems so insignificant…powerless…small…undetect
able.  Bringing that word to life does those exact things to you.  When you use it you become insignificant, powerless, small, and undetectable.

Words are more powerful than we give them credit for.  Little being one of the more powerful and covert.  We let it fly so often without paying attention.  Saying the word Little is like digesting a flavorless poison.  You don’t detect it and the effects aren’t realized until it destroys you.

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Victory is a basic human need.  It’s right up there with food, shelter, water, and reproduction.  Few things in life rival the extreme jolt of energy that comes from winning.  Sometimes its a friendly contest amongst friends.  Sometimes it’s an athletic competition.  Sometimes its a personal goal that you’ve been striving to achieve.  Regardless of the situation winning provides joy, excitement, and energy.

Our society, our  ancestor’s society,  and the society our children will live in thrive on it.  It’s an undeniable fact of life.

• The President wins the election
• Salesmen win the trust of their customers
• Teachers  win the satisfaction of knowing they are passing on knowledge
• Bodybuilders win the fight with their bodies
• Writers win the support of their fan bases
• Race car drivers win races
• Husbands win the affection of their wives in order to marry them
• Good Doctors win their battles with disease and injury

As you can see millions of situations arise on a daily basis that challenge our willingness to win.  From running for public office to shedding a few pounds.  Someone (or something) must gain from each situation.

Why is this the case?

Why is society so competitive?

The answer is simple.  The evolution of society depends on it.  We couldn’t have leadership without elections (somebody must win the election).  We’d have no Super Bowl if NFL players weren’t out on the field every week striving for a win.  Advanced medical technology wouldn’t exist if the need to defeat discomfort, broken bones, and disease never existed.  The entrepreneurial drive to win and create a company gives jobs to millions of people across the globe. You wouldn’t be able to read this blog if the drive to create an easy medium of communication (aka win) wasn’t created.

Society Urges Us to Lose

• I don’t want to look silly
• I’m afraid no one wants to hear what I have to say
• I’m not comfortable with the material
• It makes me nervous
• That’s too difficult for me

In summary, the biggest fear in modern American society is being an outlier in our group of peers. Our natural urge is to win.  Winners are by nature outliers that rise above the competition.  Is it healthy to suppress one of nature’s basic urges?  I’d have to say no.

Play Hard or Don’t Play at All

In order to satisfy your need to win you must play hard and put forth your best foot.  I’ve learned this lesson the hard way in several aspects of life.  Most notable of those has been my experiences with dating.

The second half of my senior year in high school and all 4 years in college were spent dating the same girl. The relationship in and of itself was great.  I learned a million and one things about women that I would not have known otherwise.  However, it SEVERELY handicapped my ability to initiate conversations, keep interest, and generate any dates with strangers.

When I first broke onto the scene I was very unsure of myself.  I’d make meager infrequent attempts to gain the attention of women I didn’t know.  If anything went sour during the exchange I’d immediately turn tail and run leaving behind a trail of smoke.  Sometimes I’d even trip when running away.

As time passed I fell into a deep slump.  The rejection and and nervousness where getting to me.  I wasn’t playing the game to win.  I was just playing to play.  I wasn’t presenting a person that any woman would want to date. No wonder I was falling flat on my face every time.

Gradually I changed my attitude.  I worked on small victories like saying hi to women as they walked by.  Giving compliments to women on their hair, clothes, body, etc.  Asking female coworkers and family members about approaches.  Eventually I worked up the courage to start conversations, continue them, and ask for numbers!

Once I decided to play hard or stay home everything changed for me.  It became easy to start conversations, generate some interest, and get over the nervousness.  Now I’m at the point where I’m willing to talk to the majority of women that I find interesting.  This was a huge win for me personally because I struggled with it for a few years.  I decided that if I was going to play I might as well play hard.  Sometimes I fall flat on my face and sometimes it works like a charm.

If you’re going to undertake a task its worth giving it your all.  Otherwise you’re just plodding along going nowhere.  When it’s all said and done you’ll be much better off. Why show up just to yell “present” when the role is taken? Make your presence known.

Time is too Valuable to Spend It Losing

A friend of mine recently asked me why I always have to shoot for the top.  Why do you have to push it to the limit?  He mentioned 2 things specifically

1. My insane drive to lose weight (250 lbs down to 205)
2. My intense dedication to speaking (~40 speeches in 17 months)

Up until he asked me I’d never really thought about it.  I sat for a second and let the options run through my mind.

Then it hit me.  I value my  TIME too much to waste it not getting results (aka Losing).
Time is the one resource that is truly limited and out of our control.  Once its gone you can’t have it back.  If you waste $50 you can always make it back.  If you waste 50 years they are gone forever.

If you want to win you have to learn to place value on your time.  Certain things just aren’t worth it.  Petty arguments, mild pain, spending 100% of your free time planted in front of a TV, and getting involved in things that really don’t interest you are all a waste of your most valuable resource.   Look at what you do and how much TIME you spend doing it.

In all likelihood, you’ll be surprised at just how much time its spent doing absolutely nothing of value.  Imagine if that time was spent on value added activity.  Think you could win more then?  Think you would be happier?  Think you could have more of what you desire?

I do.

The formula to winning is right before our eyes

1. Release your winning urges
2. Play Hard or Not At All
3. Value your time

It’s really that simple and straightforward.  Winners listen to their urge to win, give 100% in their efforts, and spend their time doing the things that matter.
If you’re to get in the game you might as well shoot for the championship.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on entries RSS, and select the page you’d prefer.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!