Never Settle For Less

Is it just me or is the world becoming too complicated?  When I say complicated I don’t mean in the sense of advancement.  It’s great that we experience growth in technology, education, and other important aspects of life.

My problem lies with the notion that you are somehow "smarter" if you make things sound ridiculously complicated.

Example 1

Case and point.  I was at an all day seminar for small business owners last summer.  Some of it was pure fluff and some of it was quality information.  The first presenter got things going with a semi moving speech about being Super Excellent.  A good number of his principles were spot on and correct.  I agree that in this life you must be persistent, knowledgeable, and slightly crazy if you want to be wildly successful.  Just as I was beginning to enter my Super Excellent zone he said something that snapped me out of my trance.
"If you really want to intrigue your customers say things in a way they won’t understand.  That way they’ll keep coming back!"

What??

I don’t know too many people that will be drawn in by someone who speaks in tongue twisting parables that they don’t understand.  Speaking over people’s heads is wasteful and it never ever gets the message across.  Plain English gets the job done just fine.

Example 2

A former co-worker of mine was the absolute king of the corporate tongue twisters. In 10 short years he’d climbed through the ranks to make the position of Senior Manager.  He wasn’t shy about sharing that information one bit.  He was one of those people that puffed his chest out and flashed his blackberry to prove he was important.  Needless to say he wasn’t well received.

One day we were in a meeting discussing our operation.  The point was raised that some of our facilities shared similar qualities and could work together to create a more efficient operation. In his best big wig voice he puffed out his chest and said "The cross-functional synergies have been running through my mind for some time now".

What??

That’s a very interesting way to say "the two facilities that are across the street from each other should put freight on the same truck".  I don’t really know if that’s a "cross-functional synergenastic" relationship.

Example 3

The fitness industry is terrible about making things more complicated than necessary (probably more so than any other industry).    At any given time there are 25 different diets, 50 different supplements, 75 different workouts, and 100 different people telling you how to get the same result.

Do the math and that’s 25*50*75*100 = 9,375,000 ways to burn fat and build muscle.  No wonder people have a hard time seeing results!  It’s pretty daunting to keep up with 9 million options (at least it would be for me).  I don’t know how things got this way but it needs to stop.

Do we really need 9 million ways to move more and eat less?

Do we?

Conclusion

We’re living in an age where making things sound outlandishly complicated will get you everywhere.  Pretty soon the color crayon yellow will have the number wavelength frequency on the crayon instead of the color.  I bet the kids will love that.

Since I’m having so much fun I’ve decided to throw in my own big word for good measure.  So I’d like to close with my profound word of wisdom "gobbledegookiewoogie".  It means "I’m trying to make this nonsense sound confusing as possible".

Did it work?

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If you’re like me you take your workouts and nutrition very seriously.  By doing that you will inevitably stand out from the crowd.  Those who work out diligently tend to get heckled, teased, or otherwise annoyed by the coach potatoes of the world.  Coach potatoes outnumber us 87 to 1 so we can expect the issue to remain for years to come.  When your results start to show you will be labeled a Fitness "Nut".  All the coach potatoes will point and life in an attempt to make you feel like an outcast.  The purpose of this article is to arm you with 3 simple and effective techniques to shut down the noise.
1 - Explain what you do

The overriding majority of people who harass you have no clue what you are actually doing.  In their eyes it looks weird that you’re scooping tuna out of a can at 10 am (it’s not lunch time yet), it’s strange that you drink a gallon of water a day (don’t you pee a lot?), and you’ll hurt their feelings if you won’t eat their triple refried banana nut cake (c’mon it’s only 800 calories a slice).

They will continue to heckle you unless you explain why you act the way you do.  Explain that you eat tuna at 10 am to feed your ever growing supply of muscle.  Tell them you drink water to LOSE water weight.  Tell them you won’t eat their triple refried banana nut cake because 800 calories is about 45% of the calories you eat in a day.

In all likelihood they won’t understand you.  At least they’ll be confused enough to buzz off and let you continue to see results.

2 - Show Them Your Results

Every gym trainee worth his/her salt has progress pictures.  Progress pictures serve many purposes.  Mine give me a sense of pride.  It feels good to look back and yourself and realize how far you’ve come.  Progress pictures are also a great way to get people off your back.
I recall having a co-worker (who wanted the same results as me) over my back about my lifestyle.  She was laying it on pretty thick (moreso than usual).  From nowhere she began to fire questions at me:
"Why do you workout so much?"

"Are you in love with yourself?"

"Do you ever take a break?"

"Why won’t you eat any pie?"

Her barrage seemed like it was never going to end.  The more she spoke the more annoyed I became.  After about 30 seconds I asked her to follow me back to my computer.

I explained that I could show her visuals to answer her questions.  I logged into my email account and began showing her my before and after photographs.  We flipped through photos of me at 252 lbs, 240 lbs, 230 lbs, 220 lbs, and so on until we got to the final picture.  She was floored. She’d never seen me as an overweight person.  With each picture she became more and more quiet.  When I was done I looked at her at asked "Is that a good enough reason?"

She hasn’t brought it up since.

3 - Ignore Your Hecklers

You may find yourself dealing with a completely irrational, ridiculous, annoying, atrocious heckler at some point.  When all else fails use a technique I learned from a friend.

One of my friends is notorious for his ability to poke fun at people.  If ANYTHING is wrong with you he’ll pull it out and make some jokes.  Oddly enough it seems that no one can make fun of him.  You can try but it just won’t be very effective.  He has a nonchalant way of looking at you like you’re speaking a langauge never before spoken on earth.  Whenever you start in on him he just blanks out.  He won’t smile.  He won’t frown.  He’ll hardly even acknowledge that you’re alive.  When you’re done he’ll continue on with his day like he’s never seen you.

It drove me and my other friends absolutely insane.  Soon we quit trying to make fun of him.  It was incredibly pointless.  It felt like you were literally walking up to a brick wall and trying to make jokes.

Use this tactic when you’re being heckled by someone who just won’t go away. Nobody likes talking to a brick wall.

Nobody does.

Conclusion

There are so many factors that go into working out and being in shape.  You already have to

1. Research exercises
2. Plan your day to make time
3. Eat correctly
4. Chart your growth
5. Stay motivated

The last thing you need is to worry with the heckling of others.  Use these 3 tips to control the pests in your life.  In all likelihood they are jealous of your success.  If they’re jealous then you must be doing something right

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All of us have turnkey moments in our lives.  Those moments when everything changes.  Those moments when lightning strikes and things become crystal clear.  The "aha" moments that we experience are immediate and unforgettable.  Up until today I’ve had 2 or 3 of these "aha" moments.  One of them in particular sticks out like a sore thumb.

One day in September of 2005 I happened to gaze into the mirror.  This wasn’t just any normal gaze.  This was a long, slow, and excruciating physical examination.  I stared in the mirror and examined every inch of my body from head to toe.

• Hair looking good? Check
• Arms still there? Check
• Neck still attached to my head? Check
• Legs doing fine? Check
• Toes in place? Check

As I turned away from the mirror I noticed something strange.  My stomach was sticking out further than I’d ever noticed.  For weeks it had been there but this was the first time that it ever repulsed me.

There it was staring back at me in all it’s glory.  When I had a shirt over it I could easily call it fluff, loose muscle, the pooch, or any nickname that would help me hide what it really was.  With the shirt off I couldn’t lie to myself.  I was a fat boy plain and simple.

In 30 seconds I ran the gauntlet of emotions ranging from upset, to indifferent, and finally ending up angry beyond belief.  Being upset did something very special for me.  It was the match that set my desire on fire.  I seriously doubt that I would have ever lost a pound had I not been real with myself.

Sometimes the things we need to see are right in front of us hiding behind a veil we create.  It doesn’t help to hide or dish out pet names.  Be real, up front, and honest with yourself.  Get mad, get upset, get pissed off.  After you get yourself all worked up use that energy to make a change for the better.  Do it now and don’t look back.  You’ll thank me later.

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Earlier today I googled "Top 10 Reasons to Workout".  To my not so pleasant surprise I found 140,000,000 records.  I poked around in a few of the articles trying to decide if I should add my own unique twist to this over saturated market.  After close examination I decided that it just wouldn’t be right if I didn’t throw my hat into the ring.  I’m not afraid of 140,000,000 records!

Sit back, relax, and enjoy my 10 More (Top) Reasons to Work Out.

1 - Peep Show

I worked out for a full year and a half at a corporate gym.  Then one day I decided to take things to the next level and join a more advanced fitness club.  My eyes thanked me immediately!  I’d been missing out on some of the best looking, most attractive, motivating female specimens around.

Since I’m all about taking the opportunity to improve myself I decided to improve my sneak-a-peek skills.  Initially, it was awkward so I only used my long range sneak-a-peek vision.  After a while my courage grew and I was staring at people within arms reach.  I’d gotten to the point where I could deadlift, sneak-a-peek, and turn away without being noticed.

I think Batman would be proud.

There have been plenty of times when the sneak-a-peek has gotten me through the workout when nothing else could.

2 - Sense of Accomplishment

A successful workouts provides a unrivaled sense of accomplishment.  The ability to concretely measure the beginning, middle, and end is a huge psychological plus.  There is a sense of gratification from improving your benchpress 35%, beating a personal best in a mile run, or trimming off 20 lbs. Few things can beat the high of knowing you’ve toppled a personal goal.

3 - Vanity Fair

We all like to look at ourselves in the mirror (some of us more than other’s).  Most people may not willingly admit it but that doesn’t make it any less true.  The gym is one of the few places where you may not feel like a self-righteous, narcissistic, pompous, vain, conceited, and egotistical jerk for marveling at the perfection you’ve created for 4 or 5 minutes straight.  Just don’t try it at home.

4 - You can throw things

Ever wanted to throw something at school, home, or in the office but you knew you couldn’t?

In the gym you can pretty much throw whatever you want and call it exercise!  There’s usually a benefit or 2 as well (strength, endurance, etc).  So instead of tossing your lamp, computer, desk, or something else you’d eventually have to replace try this.  Go to the gym, pick up a medicine ball, and toss it around.  At least if you break something you won’t have to pay for it.  That’s what the dues are for.

5 - Meet Very Interesting People There

The gym is a place where interesting people come and congregate in mass.  In my time I’ve run into some interesting people indeed.

1. Man working out in a trash bag
2. Fitness Models
3. Male dancer (who offered me a job in the same line of work)
4. Immigration Lawyer
5. A woman who would eventually stalk me
6. A man who would eventually stalk me

I had to stop the list there because I was starting to get bad memories, but I’m sure you get the picture.  There are some interesting characters in the gym.

6 - Prepares you for life

I sincerely believe that working out prepares you for life.   The experience is so tangible and in your face.  Working out a consistent basis gives you the opportunity to create goals, suffer through pitfalls, pick yourself up, and eventually excel at what you’re doing.

The last time I checked life was about creating goals, suffering through the pitfalls, and learning to dust yourself off and keep going. The gym wraps that up in a neat little package, seals it for you, and delivers it to your doorstep for about $30 a month.

You can’t beat that with a 10 foot pole.

7 - Establishes discipline

Ever felt like you lacked the discipline to get things done?

Ever wished you could involve yourself in something that would help you establish unquestionable discipline?

Setting a workout schedule and sticking to it is the perfect way to establish discipline.  After you establish discipline in the gym you can then carry over to the rest of your life and improve tenfold.

I bet the gym is looking better and better by the moment .

8 - Respect

People seem to naturally respect those that work out.  Some people pay homage through jealousy while others are more positive and upbeat.  The ways in which people pay their respect doesn’t really matter.  I smile just as hard when I’m called a “juicer” as when I get a normal compliment.  To me it all sounds like “you’re doing a wonderful job taking care of yourself”.
Working out, developing a muscular body, and pushing yourself beyond societal biases and norms is definitely abnormal.  People naturally respect that behavior.  Deep down inside they probably wish they could do it to.

9 - Eventually you’ll have to beat them off with a stick

Common sense (and some studies) have shown that people are attracted to muscles.  Big surprise!!  As a society we’ve made it painfully clear that having more muscle and less fat is a good thing.  I’ve definitely seen a noticeable increase in female interest since I’ve made the transition over to be being “buff”.   It’s a simple fact of life that those who are more physically appealing have a better chance with the opposite sex.  While it may not be “fair” its definitely true.

If you get to the really elite level you’ll be beating them off with a stick Fabio style.

10 - It’s Good For You

‘Nuff said.

Conclusion

Am I doing a good job?

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I’m back with another version of the Motivational Thoughts series.  These are quotes I think of to inspire, push, and motivate myself.  It’s always fun to share them with others and see what they get out of it.  Enjoy!

1. The only person you ever really have to convince, motivate, or convince is yourself.
   
2. It’s irresponsible and selfish to hide your natural talents from the rest of the world.
3. If you waste $50 you can always make them back.  If you waste 50 years they are lost in the abyss forever.
4. People are meant to stretch boundaries, challenge conventions, make new discoveries, and enjoy themselves at the same time!
5. Dream with the heart of a child and turn life into your personal playground.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Something dramatic happened to me on Thursday January 4, 2007.  I got beat down by a 60 year old, retired, short, and very well dressed man.  Yes its true.  All 209 lbs of my muscle bound humanity was dominated by an old man who probably couldn’t bench press 180 lbs with 3 people helping him.

So you’re probably asking yourself what was I doing fighting with an old man.  You’ve probably gone so far as to laughing at the the whole thing.  If you’re an old man then you’re probably patting yourself on the chest with old man pride (shame on you).  Let me explain myself.
I’ll have to admit I’ve been a little misleading up to this point.  There was no fight with a 60 year old man.  I’m plenty of things but I’m not disrespectful enough to place my hands on the elderly.

No, there was no physical confrontation.  This one was mental.  The 60 year old man that took me down to the canvas is my mentor.  He’s one of the few people that my personality changes around.  Normally I’m outgoing, gregarious, and opinionated.  When I’m around him it’s the complete opposite.  I always leave our meetings kicking myself and wondering what happened.
On Thursday he called me out on several things.  He disregarded all my proposed topics, poked fun at my speaking technique, demanded that I speak to a challenging crowd sometime in the next millennium, and challenged me to start playing the game or give the equipment to someone who would use it.  I think he enjoyed walking on my face.  After he was done he handed me a stack of reference materials and rushed off into the night.
Needless to say I wasn’t very thrilled with the whole thing.  Oddly enough, I wasn’t angry at him.  He hadn’t pointed out anything that I wasn’t already aware of.  It’s ok when you tell yourself you suck.  The blow is a LOT harder when someone else fills you in on that little secret.  It stings even more when they do it with a smile.

I was very upset about the whole thing until I sat back and reflected.  In 45 minutes he gave me a dose of what the real world tastes like.  He gave me a little remainder that before pleasure there is often pain. I hated it then but I can appreciate it.  That 45 minute conversation put a lot of things into perspective.  My energy is being refocused and I’m getting ready to take some major strides in planning and execution.  All because a 60 year old man kicked me around a bookstore.

Not everything in the world feels warm and fluffy.  Sometimes we need someone to say ” excuse me for interrupting but I was watching you and you’re not very good at that“.  It may not be what we want to hear, but if you open your ears you won’t hear criticism.  Instead you’ll hear a challenge.  Don’t take it personal, use it as a learning experience, and improve yourself.  I know I will.  I’m already tired of getting beat up by old men.

It’s that time of year again.  The time when all hope springs eternal.  That special time when we re-align, reassess, and re-focus our lives (or so we say).

On January 1, 2008 I got trapped in a New Year’s Resolution discussion.  As is the tradition on New Year’s Day she let me in on a little secret…she had New Year’s Resolutions!  After telling me what things she planned to update, change, or improve in 2008 she then turned the spotlight to me.

"What New Year’s Resolutions are you making this year?" she asked with a smile.

I knew the answer well before she asked me so I decided to build in some suspense.  What’s the use of having friends if you can’t have a little fun with them right?

I wrinkled my eyebrows, placed one hand on my chin, and pretended to be in deep thought over this puzzling question.  The more I waited the more anxious she become.  Torturing her was a little too easy so I stretched the "thought process" out even longer.  After 45 seconds of fake thinking I was ready to let her have it.

"I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions" I said.  She recoiled as if I were a monster.  I’m not a monster, I’m just into jumping into death traps.  Not my style .
The New Year’s Resolution is by far the worst trend that I’ve ever observed.  Trends like zubaz pants and pet rocks were at least kind enough to die.  The New Year’s  Resolution does us no such favors.  On January 1 18 billion goals are launched into the sky.  A mere 2 weeks later 7.99 billion have come crashing down to earth.

Read on to find out how to avoid falling into the New Year’s Resolution Death trap.

1-Don’t Buy Into The Hype

Too much fuss is made about the new year and the new opportunities that it brings (even though nothing much has changed).  December 31, 2007 was a Monday and January 1, 2008 is a Tuesday.  That’s the only difference. How much times in our lives have we went to sleep on Monday only to wake up on Tuesday oh glorious Tuesday?  Is this one really that much different?  Did something miraculous happen to you in your sleep last night?  It’s doubtful…extremely doubtful.

When it comes down to the nitty gritty it’s just another day.

2-Listen Up

This time of the year has become an interesting time for me.  Since I’m seen as a weight loss expert I am constantly barraged with questions about what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.  Before I can begin I have to break down the wall of misinformation in everyone’s heads.  I’m shocking people every day by simply telling them to eat less, exercise more, get some H2O flowing in their systems, cut back on the beers , and create realistic expectations.  You’d swear I was beating up little children with some of the faces I get.

Some people listen and some people spout off about the newest diet pill on TV.  I don’t have the time or the energy to argue about "scientific research" at the sugar pill factory so I’ve learned to let it go.  I work with those who will listen and I let the rest do as they please.  It’s nearly impossible to convince someone who wants to waste their own time not to do it.
Don’t be bull-headed when you set out those 2008 goals.  If you know someone who’s been there and done that.  Open your ears and listen.  You just might save yourself the trouble of making the same resolution in 2009, 2010, and 2028.

3-Prepare for the Stumbling Blocks

Planning for success is a very tricky thing.  Our natural urge is to be as optimistic as humanly possible. Use your rational thinking skills to be both optimistic and realistic.

Preparation for the hard times needs to go into that thinking. Just think for a second:

• What happens if the weight doesn’t come tumbling off?
• What happens if you don’t land that dream job in 3 months?
• What happens if you lose on American Idol?
• What happens if you don’t have a Valentine’s Day date on February 13?

These are all very real possibilities.  Not everything will line up perfectly and you need to be prepared.  Some days you will come outside to perfect temperature, dancing children, and an express way free of traffic.  Other days you’ll come outside to sleet storms, kids rolling in the mud, and bumper to bumper to bumper to bumper traffic.

Be prepared for both.  Your sanity will thank you.

4-Lay a Foundation and Progress From There

Rome wasn’t built in a day and your new life won’t be either.  DO NOT be so caught up with your new goals that you allow yourself to overlook all logic.  The largest and most beautiful buildings in history were built one unit at a time.  Look at the Taj Mahal, Eiffel Tower, The Great Sphinx of Egypt, and the Roman Colosseum.  You think these buildings came together overnight?  Of course you don’t.

Avoid being naive and thinking things will change overnight.  By and large they won’t.  You’ll only damage yourself looking for the quick and easy route to long lasting change.  Spend the next few months laying the foundation for the lifestyle you will create for yourself.  Let somebody else get their life changed for 3 easy payments of $19.99 (or whatever the rate is these days).
I always say if its worth doing then it’s worth doing right.  If you’re not going to do it right then why bother?

Conclusion

You can level-set, re-align, get your act together, rejigger (yes that is a word ), or otherwise improve your life at any point you so choose.  It doesn’t have to be and it most likely won’t be on January 1.  1/1 is competing with 364 days.  That’s a lot of pressure for Tuesday to handle!

Remember to avoid the hype, open your ears, prepare for the stumbling blocks, and lay a foundation. You’ll be well ahead of 99.99999999% of the New Year’s Resolutions crowd.  Oh yeah one more thing.  You can use this outline for other goals too .

If you like this blog bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!

Failing is a natural part of life that everybody experiences.  As people grow, mature, and branch out they inevitably run into circumstances that test their will and guts.  In order to overcome failure you must realize that failure is a temporary condition.  Nothing more and nothing less.  Follow along with me as I tell a personal story about facing failure in speech contests.  Enjoy

November 2006 Area Humorous Speech Contest

My first attempt at bringing home first place in a speech contest was in November of 2006.  All the details are still crystal  clear in my mind.  It was a cool, clean, and crisp Saturday morning.  I was  heading off to represent my club in the Area Humorous Speech Contest.  I was on  cloud 9 when I arrived.  By the time I left I was disgusted and dejected.
3 people were competing that day.  A heavy set man around the age of  30, a petite older woman around the age of 50, and myself.  We were all  there for the same reason: crush the competition and move on to the division level.
Competition makes me feel alive so I was pumped and ready to go.  I was fully prepared to blow the audience away and take home  the crown.  I’d practiced the speech and its elements at least 20 times.  My audience would be treated  to a humorous speech about car mechanics and what they really do to your car.   My opening was sure to draw them in, the body was sure to grab their attention,  and my closing was sure to send them off laughing.  It was nearly perfect. All I needed  was for my name to be called.

15 minutes before the speeches began we drew numbers to decide on the  speaking order. The heavy set man was first, I was second, and the woman was  third.  I took my seat and waited eagerly for the competition to  begin.

The heavy man’s speech was ironically about his weight.  He talked about why  he was fat.  He poked at his belly.  He made a few jokes about the fattening  foods he planned on eating later on that day.  Then he went for the jugular.  In  a totally unpredictable move he began to explain how his mother was disowning  him until he lost weight!  The crowd erupted with laughter.  He walked away from  the stage and went back to his seat.

By my estimation he’d done a decent job.  His opening was alright, he encouraged mild chuckles at his jokes, and he seemed to touch a sympathetic note by  talking about being overweight.  Good but not better than what I had in store.
Next up was me.  As my name and credentials were being announced I readied  myself for battle.  I took it up a notch from the beginning.  Unlike the first  speaker I asked for audience participation.  Everyone closed their eyes,  held out their right hand, and imagined they were holding their auto mechanic’s  face in their palm.  Then on the count of 3 they all smacked his face for extorting thousands of dollars  from their pockets!

As I expected they all exploded with laughter. They were hooked.  I weaved in and out of disastrous run ins I’d had with my very own  mechanic.  They learned about how I’d suspected him of driving my car on a date,  painting it the wrong color (twice), and even trying to hold on to it longer to  pull more money from my pocket.

Each punchline brought more and more laughter.  My confidence was growing  with every passing second.  For my ending I offered them one golden nugget of advice.  I paused and used my serious lecture face “The next time your car breaks down on the highway and you feel your wallet  getting lighter do yourself a favor…leave it there and go buy a bus pass”.

More explosions of laughter (the contest master was still laughing when he came to shake my hand as I exited the stage) .That was it!  No doubt about it.  I’d won.  Everyone smiled and cheered as I  took my seat.

Finally came the older woman.  She told a story about the advantages of  having 2 husbands to a crowd that was 85% woman.  Every single woman in the  house (they’re husbands obviously weren’t there) nodded in agreement.  They  giggled the entire time as she talked about how wonderful it would be to have 2  people buying clothes, 2 people paying for cars, and 2 people begging for her now divided attention.

The premise behind the speech was a good one.  I didn’t care much for the  delivery.  Her speech was filled with double negatives, improper subject verb  agreement, and other assaults on the english language.

After we were all done the judges left to tally the votes.  Before I could  make a move 5 or 6 people from the audience come over to congratulate me on a  sure victory.  Then the other contestants came over and did the same.  I thanked  them all and remained in my seat eager to her the official verdict.
The contest chair took the cards from the judge.  With a look of uncertainty  he began to make the announcements.

“Our third place contestant is…Marcus Smith” he said.

I looked around to make sure everybody else had heard that.   Surely, something was wrong.  DEAD LAST.  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  It took all I had  to walk up to the podium, take my award, and return to my seat without absolutely pitching  a fit.

My body temperature began to rise as I read the 3rd place certificate.  Everything seemed so unreal.  I  could hear the 2nd place (the older woman) and 1st place (the fat man) being  announced but it didn’t seem like I was in the room.  They were in another world  were people couldn’t understand the quality of a good speech.

After the competition was over I left quickly.  I hopped into my car and  slammed the door.  I sped home weaving in and out of traffic like a NASCAR  driver.  When I got home I threw my certificate on the floor and tried to forget  that I’d even been to a competition.  I felt robbed.

Fallout from Losing

• Audience Participation? Check
• Attention grabbing opening? Check
• Great Eye Contact? Check
• Great Pace? Check
• Well Placed Jokes? Check
• Fantastic Witty Conclusion? Check

Things weren’t making sense.  Thinking about the competition only served made my blood boil even more.  I decided to continue entering contests until I won.

2007 Failures

I don’t want to depress you with stories of sorrow so I’ll just say this. During 2007 I got spanked in 3 more competitions.  I was not pleased. Sadness , anger , and near tear drops :’( were the norm.  That was up until December of 2007.

December 2007 Triumph

On December 3, 2007 I finally came out on top.  This time I faced 5 skillful adversaries. 1 was a relative newcomer, 2 of them have been speaking for half of my life, 1 had spanked me in an earlier competition, and 1 speaks for a living.

The earlier beat downs I took taught me some things about topic selection, delivery, how to not throw tables when you lose, proper movement, story development, and how to really connect with an audience.  I’d need all those tools on December 3.

So now came the moment of truth.  Time to use all the tools.  We drew numbers and I ended up going last. I was so focused on my speech that I barely paid attention to the other 5 orators.  I had to ask around afterwards to find out that I’d beaten at least 3 great speeches.

My speech started off by taking the audience back to my childhood.  I told the story of a childhood neighbor growing a garden in a neighborhood with notoriously poor lawns.  The story had it all

• Intrigue
• Jealousy
• Humor (I spied on her)
• Visualization
• Focus on the audience

I didn’t stop with that story.  I explained to them all how the story tied into their personal and professional lives.  How they had the opportunity to grow through Toastmasters (the speech organization).  How Napoleon Hill (Presidential Advisor), Peter Coors (Chairman of Coors Brewing Company), and Tim Allen (movie stare) all started out in a room just like the one they were in.  I explained that they too could grow and achieve great things by exploring their creativity and expressiveness in Toastmasters.  Thundering applause rang out at my conclusion.
I had finally done it!  The lessons I’d learned from past failures came together in what was my best speech.  Against the highest level of competition to date I’d finally come out on top.
So how does this relate to you?

Conclusion

Failure is a good thing when you allow  yourself to learn from it.  When you lose you are forced to look inside and discover why you didn’t come out on top.  Are you unprepared?  Are you overmatched? Did you take things too lightly? Did you overlook critical details?  Are you really taking steps to improve? Did you give your absolute best effort?  Have you learned anything from  your past failures?

Always remember that failure is temporary and fleeting.  Just because you’ve been trounced once doesn’t mean you’re cursed to lifelong failure.  Every time I got thrashed in a contest I learned something.  Every loss was an opportunity to figure out what people did and didn’t like.  Every loss was an opportunity to experiment.  Every loss was an opportunity to challenge myself and GROW.

Use your failures as learning tools to propel yourself to the next level.  You (and the rest of the world) will be happy you did.

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For weeks now I’ve been resisting the temptation to create a "things I’m thankful/grateful/happy to have/ridiculously in love with" list. Once I decided to do it I next had to settle on a list size.  5 couldn’t hope to cover it all and 100 would be overdoing it.  With that in mind I sat down to create the list and eventually ended up with 25 things I’m really grateful for. It’s an experience that really clears the mind and puts things in perspective.  Here it is:

1. My Grandmother - for raising me and putting up with my childhood antics
2. My Father - for instilling 1,000 good values into my system
3. My Mother - for suffering through the pain of bringing me to earth
4. My Brother and Sister - providing inspiration, humor, and energy when no one else can
5. My Aunt - for being one of the most understanding people I’ve ever met
6. My Cousins - for ummm…well…hmmmm
7. My Friends - for being one of the most supportive groups of people anyone can ever hope to have
8. My Girlfriend - for tolerating and supporting my madness (I almost feel sorry for you)
9. My Creativity - for waking me up in the middle of the night with energy, ideas, plans, poems, speeches, books, business ideas, and everything else under the sign
10. My Curiosity - for helping me delve into random things that help me grow
11. Toastmasters - for helping me discover my true talents and purpose
12. Chuck Kinnebrew - for being one of the first people to provide career guidance
13. Phil Parker - for being one of the first to provide honest entrepreneurial guidance
14. Terrence Moore - for being one of the first to challenge me in ways I couldn’t imagine
15. The internet - for providing a wealth of resources, knowledge, and entertainment
16. Georgia Tech - for providing the first truly challenging experience of my life.  I hated it while I was there but I can’t replace the lessons I learned.
17. Cordele, GA - for giving me a greater appreciation of the world
18. 50 long gone pounds of fat - for unlocking my inner motivation and perseverance
19. My current career - for providing a solid business background and showing me what I really want to do with my existence
20. The Future - for shining bright and holding endless possibilities
21. My overactive brain - for keeping me alive and kicking
22. U.S. Citizenship - for giving me the freedom to do whatever I (legally) please
23. My courage - it may be foolish, outlandish, and ridiculous but it’s MINE!
24. Technology - for making so many things easier and more accessible
25. My blog readers - for supporting me, reading my thoughts, and passing my information on to zillions of people

Feel free to comment on my list or leave your own list in the comment section.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!

I’d bet you any amount of money that your life is a series of routines and patterns.  Those routines include everything from the time you wake up until the time you start counting sheep. In order to illustrate just how routine our lives are I’d like you to answer the following questions:

• What time did you wake up?
• What time did you eat breakfast?
• What time do you go to work?
• What time did you go to lunch?
• What time did you drop the kids off for school?
• How many times a day do you check your favorite webpage?
• What time did you eat dinner?
• What time did you leave work?
• What time did you workout?
• What time did you tuck the kids in to bed?
• What time did you got to sleep?

Now answer that question for the past 10 days.  Unless you are extremely sporadic you’re bound to see a trend develop. Those trends are unique to you and your life fully justifies them.

Nothing really seems wrong with your daily habits until you want to create a significant change. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t really matter what area of life you want to change.  It can be anything from reading more literature, starting a new workout plan, getting your own business of the ground, or meeting new people.  In order to be effective at those things you must fit them into the very fiber of who you are.  Your routine is just that.  It’s the shining definition of who you are day in and day out.
So many people get started on things but never quite finish them out. People pledge to build better relationships, lose weight, become well read, and be more active in their communities all the time. In the beginning they take off like a rocket ship.  They’ll talk to everyone they see, work out like a championship athlete, read 10 pages per day, and sign up for charities like crazy.  That burst of energy usually lasts for a few weeks.  Then before you know it they’ve crash landed back to planet earth.  After they rise from the smoldering ashes the old routine takes over like it never went away.
Creating significant change in your life is something that takes a good bit of time and commitment.  I refuse to say its “hard” because that word doesn’t mean a whole lot to me.  It won’t happen in 2 or 3 days and reasonable people really don’t expect it to.

Reprogramming yourself falls into 3 major phases:

1. Identification of Patterns and Gaps
2. Reprogramming
3. Maintaining the program

Phase 1 Identification of Patterns and Gaps

Identifying and acknowledging that you do indeed fall into a morning routine that includes X-rated magazines, 12 cups of coffee, and a CIA evidence kit be a slight challenge.  It may be embarrassing.  It may me even be a little demeaning. You’re here because you’re a trooper and you want to change things…you can handle it.

In order to create significant changes in your life you must be able to map out your day.  Identifying your patterns allows you to do just that.

When I weighed 250 lbs I wanted nothing more than to lose weight.  I constantly read magazine articles, web pages, newspaper articles looking for information on how to get it done.   I daydreamed about ripping off my shirt and revealing rock hard six pack abs below. I soon realized that I’d have to change my entire lifestyle to do it or else I’d keep sporting the spare tire.
My first challenge was finding the right time to workout.  Research and previous failures told me that I’d need to find a time that I wouldn’t readily wiggle out of.    At the time my days looked like this:

12:00 A.M. - 7:30 A.M. –> Sleep

7:30 A.M. - 8:00 A.M. –> Prep for Work

8:00 A.M. - 8:15 A.M. –> Travel to Work

8:15 A.M. - 6:00 P.M. –> Work

6:00 P.M. - 6:15 P.M. –> Travel Home

6:15 P.M. - 8:00 P.M. –> Dinner

8:00 P.M. - 10:30 P.M. –> Read, Watch TV, Play Video Games, Talk on Phone, etc

After 10:30 P.M. –> Get ready for bed and go to sleep

Wash, Rinse, Repeat every single day

At the time the mornings were off limits.  Its not that I wasn’t capable of working out in the morning.  I just flat out refused to do it.  Instead of interrupting my much needed beauty sleep I decided to squeeze a workout into my remaining 4.5 hours of life after work.

Now think about a significant change you’d like to make. How much time a day would you need to start making this change.  Take a look at your day to day schedule.  Do you see any time slots that could be moved, shifted, or tightened to accommodate that change.
I’m sure you can readily identify some time you could move to start getting things done.  That’s the painless part of this exercise.

Phase 2 Reprogramming

During phase 2 your way of life begins to change dramatically.  That new activity becomes a part of who you are.  Everyone who attempts to reprogram themselves goes through the same cycle.

Excitement

It’s very easy to tell when someone has picked up something new. THEY ABSOLUTELY WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT .  I remember when I started working out.  Everyone I ran into had to hear about my workout schedule, the foods I ate, how much fun I was having, and how much stronger I was feeling.  Back in those days if you talked to me you were going to hear about it whether you wanted to or not.  Now that other people do it to me I see just how annoying it can be .
The same thing happened with a close friend of mine. He picked up a sales job with high hopes of supplementing and eventually replacing his income.  We couldn’t have a conversation without him brining it up. He worked Company X’s name into every possible sentence.  To an outsider I’m sure he seem hypnotized (or at least crazy).

I experienced this again with another friend and his blog site.  One day out of the blue he decided to start a web site that would serve as his personal rant. This e-rant would bring him traffic in waves, glory, and eventually a big company buyout. For 3-4 days he worked diligently on the main page design.  His first post was a passionate declaration of what his site would have to offer filled with all the bragging and profanity that should accompany a personal rant site.

The next time I saw him he stopped me in my tracks.

“Did you see my post?????!!!!!!” he shouted with pride in his eyes.

“Yes, yes I saw it” I said.

That enthusiasm soon died off due to the next step.

Dip/Slump/Negative Feelings

That immediate rush of excitement is great.  You’re doing something new, the possibilities are endless, and the world belongs to you!

Then it happens.  Reality rears its ugly head.  Excitement and reality are like fire and water.  Excitement serves to ignite the fire.  Reality comes through and slowly puts the fire out.

This is bound to happen to anyone attempting to reprogram themselves or change their behaviors.  The 10 Million dollar question is “How do you handle this dose of reality?”
Fight or Flight?

Remember this concept from elementary school?  If not here’s a brief refresher.  The fight or flight response is the natural tendency to either run or fight in the face of danger.  That dose of reality is the flash of danger that triggers a fight or flight response.
Unfortunately, this is where many people slip in the reprogramming process.  It’s much easier and convenient to just give in and say “I can’t”, “it’s too hard”, or “that’s just not for me”.  Think about it.  They just roll of the tongue so easily.  They’re so comforting.  They’re there to stroke you when your feelings are hurt and provide a soft cushion to land on.   Statements like this relieve all the pressure from the situation you tried to correct.

There’s just one problem…it really does you no good in the long run.  None…Nada…Zip

Staying to fight is truly the road less traveled and for good reason.  Fights can get nasty.  Fights drain you mentally and physically.  Fights also introduce the possibility of doing something most of us dare not do.  It’s something so horrendous that it makes most people cringe just thinking about it.
Fights introduce the possibility of PAIN, LOSS, EMBARRASSMENT, or outright FAILURE.  We don’t like that word very much these days.  It’s a nasty little demon.

Here’s something to chew on when you’re thinking about reprogramming yourself.  If you start something and then stop at the first sign of danger you’re wasting your time, energy, and other valuable resources.  On top of that you’re still failing to do what you set out to do.  No matter how comfortable it may seem it’s really not helping you do what you set out to do.  If you stick with it and fight at least you’ve given yourself the chance to be fully reprogrammed.  9 times out of 10 thats all it takes to let the program become a part of you anyway.  Remember, without pain we’d never know what pleasure truly  is.

Phase 3 Completely Reprogrammed

If you’ve made it this far that means you’ve decided to fight rather than give up.  At this point you’ve done 95% of the hard work.  The highs of excitement put you on cloud 9 at the beginning.  Each day you jumped into the task giving it your heart and soul.  You set reminders for yourself.  You charted your accomplishments.  You sounded off to everyone that would listen about your new goal, program, or lifestyle.

At some point you experienced a dip in motivation to keep things going.  That zest that you had for this new lifestyle began to choke as results came slower than you expected.  Negative images and thoughts began to creep into your brain.  People may have urged you to return to your old lifestyle, you considered giving up, you considered going back to your old habits, and then you had to make a decision.

Will you fight or will you run away.  Hopefully, you decided to take the road less traveled and continue to fight.  People who resist the urge to run away begin to notice a change in themselves about a month into their reprogramming process.  Those things that were once too inconvenient now fit perfectly into your day.  Those mountains that you couldn’t climb over are now molehills that you stomp on.  Before long the new habit is so important that you don’t feel whole when it isn’t done.

That’s when you know you’ve successfully been reprogrammed.  Congratulations!

Conclusion

Reprogramming yourself and developing new habits isn’t a “hard” thing to do.  All it takes is consistency.  I’ve been through this process several times.  Most notably with weight loss and blogging/writing.

The first time I did it was when I decided to begin working out and lose weight.  In order to do it my lifestyle needed a complete make over.  Reprogramming myself was the obvious answer.  I experienced all the steps mentioned in this article.  When I began I was too excited to sit still.  Shortly  after that I became impatient and began doubting myself.  When the time came to fight or run I decided to stay and fight until the job was done.  Before I knew it was working out 5 days a week.  It’s developed into an unbreakable habit that’s helped me lose 50 lbs, improve my bench press from 180 lbs to 370 lbs, and drop 5 pants sizes.  Pretty effective if you ask me.

The second time I entered this process was when I decided to blog and write articles.  When I started I could write for 4-5 hours on end.  Words would glide off of my fingers and onto the page like magic.  It was effortless.  As the weeks passed it began to feel more like a chore than something I could genuinely enjoy and continue.  I was writing articles, submitting to blog carnivals, and checking my statistics like crazy.  When the numbers weren’t what I wanted them to be I began to reconsider my decision.

Was it really worth it?

Should I be doing this with my time?

The answer was a resounding  “Yes”.  It was  worth it and I will continue to do it.  I already have plans to continue writing, submitting to carnivals, submitting to ezines, and providing value for years to come.  The emails and comments I get on my blog and home page let me know that my writing is doing what I intended.  There’s really no reason to stop now.  In due time the proper results will come.

Reprogramming yourself is a process we all attempt at some point.  All of us try and many of us fail.  Failure to reprogram yourself is your own fault because you can only do so by selling yourself short and giving up.  Always remember that the process of changing your habits always follows this outline:

1. Identification of  Patterns and Gaps
2. Reprogramming
1. Excitement
2. Dip/Slump/Negative Feelings
3. Fight or Flight?
3. Completely Reprogrammed

This process mirrors life.  You get out of it exactly what you put into it.  Nothing more and nothing less.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!