Never Settle For Less

Today I was kicking back and thinking about some funny things I’ve seen and done in the gym.

The Warrior Cry -  I was a gym novice in college the very first time my ears were pierced by the warrior cry.  Georgia Tech is known for its engineers, not its physiques.  As a result anyone with an impressive body gets a lot of attention.  One of the gym mainstays was clearly head and shoulders above everyone else.  He was ripped up and looked to be about 6 or 7% bf.  Being bigger than everybody else wasn’t enough.  He had to find a way to let everyone know through what I now call "The Warrior Cry".  Every single time he finished a rep he’d give a 300 style "huuuuuuuuuuahh" or "brrruuuuuuuaaaaaggggh".  Curls, deadlifts, bench press, wrist curls, and yes even CALF RAISES got a "gyrreeeeeeeaaaah".  So the next time you get ready to burn those calf muscles to the ground let out a big "huuuuuuuaaaahh" to let everybody in the gym know what time it is.
The Supermodel Strut - The supermodel strut is another favorite of mine.  For the better part of a year I worked out in a corporate gym at The Home Depot’s Corporate Headquarters.  The gym was moderately equipped and for the most part filled with people all trying to get into shape.  In January of this year I left that gym for an LA Fitness with more robust options.  I noticed something was different as soon as I arrived.  The air seemed cleaner.  The machines were newer.  The people were also in WAAAAAAAAY better shape.

About a month into my membership an extremely well proportioned asian girl waltzed out onto the floor.  Most people hit the gym floor in their clothes ready to go.  Not her.  She had on a warm up of some sort.  She walked AROUND the weight lifting area 2 or 3 times making sure to get everyone’s attention (I looked only because I didn’t want her to waste her efforts).  Next she started to take off her clothes in super slow motion.  First she came out of the pants.  She was conveniently bent over for an extra 45 seconds after her pants were off.  Next, she pulled off her top and stared in the mirror to adjust herself up stairs. Of course she wasn’t done there.  She then whipped her hair around Baywatch style and threw it in a pony tail.  This was all ON THE GYM FLOOR!.

After her undressing routine she turned around to check on her audience.  Sure enough we were all staring.  Apparently satisfied with herself she jumped into her "routine".  So Ladies the next time you’re in the gym and need a boost here’s an idea.  Come in fully dressed and undress on the floor.  You’re sure to catch some glances.  Just give me credit for introducing you to the Super Model Strut.
Last but definitely not least is a blooper of my own.

Spin Class in Boxers -  Spin class in boxers was my very own ingenious idea.  Everyone who participates in spin class knows that biking shorts are necessary to keep everything where it needs to be.  Everyone knows that except me.  About a month into the class I learned my lesson.

The class started with the normal warm up.  Once we picked up the pace I began to worry.  I’ll be PC and just say my team was moving with every pedal stroke.  To make matters worse I had on some gym shorts that made the movement clear to anybody who cared to watch. Fortunately for me my neighbor cared to watch.  Every 2 or 3 minutes I’d look over and catch her eyes square in my lap! She wasn’t shy about looking  either.  After the class was over she followed me out of the class and tapped me on the shoulder.  She grinned and said "You should keep your team under control coach" and chuckled off.  Since that day I’ve kept the team in check.

See you soon.