Never Settle For Less

For the longest time I’ve been wanting to write this post.  Scratch that.  For the longest time I’ve been needing to write this post.  It’s been burning me up inside and I need to unleash it.   There are certain assumptions, traditions, or ways of life that are supported in the black community that I can’t sit idly by and watch.

I’ve always struggled to grasp exactly what it meant to “be black”.  Even though I grew up in south Georgia I missed the boat.  As I grew older I realized that there was no boat.  I realized that the things black people were holding dear didn’t amount to a 2 inch high stack of nickels.  There are plenty of things being black doesn’t mean.  Here’s a small list of things that being black doesn’t mean.

1- The big bad white man is out to get me

This may be the thing that ticks me off the most about my fellow black people.  Somewhere along the road a small seed was planted.  That seed has been watered for decades and now its grown out of control.  Its a forest now.

If you walk deep into that forest you’ll find about 90% of the black people on earth hanging out.  They are always chanting in unison.  The song they sing is easy to pick up, slightly depressing, monotonous, and yet it manages to build camaraderie. It only has one line and it goes like this:

The White Man Won’t Let Me….

The White Man Won’t Let Me….

The White Man Won’t Let Me….

The White Man Won’t Let Me….

The White Man Won’t Let Me….

One day I mistakenly walked into the group.  Everyone was chanting in unison.  I didn’t want to feel left out so I too joined in.  After about 5 minutes I was incredibly depressed and bored so I left.  I figured that “The White Man” was busy enough holding everyone else back.  He probably wouldn’t even notice if I went off to the side and made something of myself.

2- I must ‘act black’

This is something I haven’t quite mastered yet.  I don’t really know what it means but I’m trying to learn.  So far I think it includes

• eating fatty foods
• having a nasty attitude
• being homophobic
• having no direction in life
• making fun of everything that doesn’t fit inside my 3 inch window of life

Unfortunately, I’m not interested in any of that.  Not that I think eating fatty foods, harboring a bad attitude, hating gay people, living a life of no purpose, and ridiculing the 99% of the free world  are bad things. I just think they are slightly restrictive, somewhat off putting, and very silly.

If you like being restrictive, off putting, and silly then keep up the good work .  You’re passing the test.

3- I should abandon those I’ve grown up with

Every time I hear someone say an athlete, singer, or otherwise noteworthy black person would be better served by leaving their friends behind I cringe.  That seems like a great model to set for the generations to come.  I can see the banners in schools now.

Better yourself and leave those behind that aren’t as gifted as you.

I’m sure Nike execs would be fighting to sponsor that one?  Maybe we can get it printed on some T-shirts and hand them out at school.

I’ve known 3 of my very best friends since the 2nd grade.  According to the standards set by the school system (and the world at large) I’m a “better” person.  I was always in the gifted classes.  They weren’t.  I stayed out of (major) trouble.  They tried to…I think. I went to a great college and earned an engineering degree.  They haven’t completed a combined semester.

After graduation I was told it was best if I left “people like that” alone.  All of a sudden the friends that I’d grown up with weren’t good enough to be in my presence.  All of a sudden  those same people who applauded my academic achievements year in and year out should be forgotten.  All of a sudden the people that would give freely of their time and money were “not on my level”.  Something about that seems wrong…terribly wrong.

What ever happened to progressing and bringing people along with you?

What kind of person grows up with someone and then becomes “too good” because of a little status upgrade?
Seems like a suspect practice to me. I wouldn’t want to hang out with anyone like that.

4 -  I have to turn off my brain

I apologize ahead of time for what I’m about to say.  Here goes nothing:

I have a brain!  I will use it! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

If you’re black and you have a brain you should say it too.  Go ahead you know you want to.  It’s fun.  I promise .

5 - Defend people who have obviously broken the law because they are black

I’ve always known that people can get irrational when it comes to their stars or heroes (not just black people).  The way we defend ‘our’ stars is borderline insanity.  If I have to sit through another conversation about how the police pick on ‘our’ stars I may drive up to Brooklyn, pay the toll, and jump off the bridge.  Backwards.  With an anvil tied to my foot.

The public outrage shown when a black star falls from the sky is a sight to be seen.  I must’ve seen 5 million “free mike vick” and “free T.I.” t-shirts in 2007.  I have a tremendous amount of respect for both of them.  Vick happens to be my favorite football player and T.I. one of my favorite musicians.  That still doesn’t change the fact that they both committed serious felony crimes.  It’s not like the laws are made up as we go along.  We might not agree with them but they are still there.

It’s disturbing to see people throw blind love and support at people who commit serious crimes (over and over again).  We can’t really be that silly can we?

Conclusion

I’m very proud to be a black person.  I get the luxury of associating myself with people like Martin Luther King Jr., Rosa Parks, Harriet Tubman, and a list that could wrap around the world twice.  That’s why I get disappointed when I see people disregard all the hard work put in by those great people.  I think its time we start paying attention to what we do and say. We owe that to ourselves at the very least.

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For weeks now I’ve been resisting the temptation to create a "things I’m thankful/grateful/happy to have/ridiculously in love with" list. Once I decided to do it I next had to settle on a list size.  5 couldn’t hope to cover it all and 100 would be overdoing it.  With that in mind I sat down to create the list and eventually ended up with 25 things I’m really grateful for. It’s an experience that really clears the mind and puts things in perspective.  Here it is:

1. My Grandmother - for raising me and putting up with my childhood antics
2. My Father - for instilling 1,000 good values into my system
3. My Mother - for suffering through the pain of bringing me to earth
4. My Brother and Sister - providing inspiration, humor, and energy when no one else can
5. My Aunt - for being one of the most understanding people I’ve ever met
6. My Cousins - for ummm…well…hmmmm
7. My Friends - for being one of the most supportive groups of people anyone can ever hope to have
8. My Girlfriend - for tolerating and supporting my madness (I almost feel sorry for you)
9. My Creativity - for waking me up in the middle of the night with energy, ideas, plans, poems, speeches, books, business ideas, and everything else under the sign
10. My Curiosity - for helping me delve into random things that help me grow
11. Toastmasters - for helping me discover my true talents and purpose
12. Chuck Kinnebrew - for being one of the first people to provide career guidance
13. Phil Parker - for being one of the first to provide honest entrepreneurial guidance
14. Terrence Moore - for being one of the first to challenge me in ways I couldn’t imagine
15. The internet - for providing a wealth of resources, knowledge, and entertainment
16. Georgia Tech - for providing the first truly challenging experience of my life.  I hated it while I was there but I can’t replace the lessons I learned.
17. Cordele, GA - for giving me a greater appreciation of the world
18. 50 long gone pounds of fat - for unlocking my inner motivation and perseverance
19. My current career - for providing a solid business background and showing me what I really want to do with my existence
20. The Future - for shining bright and holding endless possibilities
21. My overactive brain - for keeping me alive and kicking
22. U.S. Citizenship - for giving me the freedom to do whatever I (legally) please
23. My courage - it may be foolish, outlandish, and ridiculous but it’s MINE!
24. Technology - for making so many things easier and more accessible
25. My blog readers - for supporting me, reading my thoughts, and passing my information on to zillions of people

Feel free to comment on my list or leave your own list in the comment section.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!