Never Settle For Less

I’d bet you any amount of money that your life is a series of routines and patterns.  Those routines include everything from the time you wake up until the time you start counting sheep. In order to illustrate just how routine our lives are I’d like you to answer the following questions:

• What time did you wake up?
• What time did you eat breakfast?
• What time do you go to work?
• What time did you go to lunch?
• What time did you drop the kids off for school?
• How many times a day do you check your favorite webpage?
• What time did you eat dinner?
• What time did you leave work?
• What time did you workout?
• What time did you tuck the kids in to bed?
• What time did you got to sleep?

Now answer that question for the past 10 days.  Unless you are extremely sporadic you’re bound to see a trend develop. Those trends are unique to you and your life fully justifies them.

Nothing really seems wrong with your daily habits until you want to create a significant change. The interesting thing is that it doesn’t really matter what area of life you want to change.  It can be anything from reading more literature, starting a new workout plan, getting your own business of the ground, or meeting new people.  In order to be effective at those things you must fit them into the very fiber of who you are.  Your routine is just that.  It’s the shining definition of who you are day in and day out.
So many people get started on things but never quite finish them out. People pledge to build better relationships, lose weight, become well read, and be more active in their communities all the time. In the beginning they take off like a rocket ship.  They’ll talk to everyone they see, work out like a championship athlete, read 10 pages per day, and sign up for charities like crazy.  That burst of energy usually lasts for a few weeks.  Then before you know it they’ve crash landed back to planet earth.  After they rise from the smoldering ashes the old routine takes over like it never went away.
Creating significant change in your life is something that takes a good bit of time and commitment.  I refuse to say its “hard” because that word doesn’t mean a whole lot to me.  It won’t happen in 2 or 3 days and reasonable people really don’t expect it to.

Reprogramming yourself falls into 3 major phases:

1. Identification of Patterns and Gaps
2. Reprogramming
3. Maintaining the program

Phase 1 Identification of Patterns and Gaps

Identifying and acknowledging that you do indeed fall into a morning routine that includes X-rated magazines, 12 cups of coffee, and a CIA evidence kit be a slight challenge.  It may be embarrassing.  It may me even be a little demeaning. You’re here because you’re a trooper and you want to change things…you can handle it.

In order to create significant changes in your life you must be able to map out your day.  Identifying your patterns allows you to do just that.

When I weighed 250 lbs I wanted nothing more than to lose weight.  I constantly read magazine articles, web pages, newspaper articles looking for information on how to get it done.   I daydreamed about ripping off my shirt and revealing rock hard six pack abs below. I soon realized that I’d have to change my entire lifestyle to do it or else I’d keep sporting the spare tire.
My first challenge was finding the right time to workout.  Research and previous failures told me that I’d need to find a time that I wouldn’t readily wiggle out of.    At the time my days looked like this:

12:00 A.M. - 7:30 A.M. –> Sleep

7:30 A.M. - 8:00 A.M. –> Prep for Work

8:00 A.M. - 8:15 A.M. –> Travel to Work

8:15 A.M. - 6:00 P.M. –> Work

6:00 P.M. - 6:15 P.M. –> Travel Home

6:15 P.M. - 8:00 P.M. –> Dinner

8:00 P.M. - 10:30 P.M. –> Read, Watch TV, Play Video Games, Talk on Phone, etc

After 10:30 P.M. –> Get ready for bed and go to sleep

Wash, Rinse, Repeat every single day

At the time the mornings were off limits.  Its not that I wasn’t capable of working out in the morning.  I just flat out refused to do it.  Instead of interrupting my much needed beauty sleep I decided to squeeze a workout into my remaining 4.5 hours of life after work.

Now think about a significant change you’d like to make. How much time a day would you need to start making this change.  Take a look at your day to day schedule.  Do you see any time slots that could be moved, shifted, or tightened to accommodate that change.
I’m sure you can readily identify some time you could move to start getting things done.  That’s the painless part of this exercise.

Phase 2 Reprogramming

During phase 2 your way of life begins to change dramatically.  That new activity becomes a part of who you are.  Everyone who attempts to reprogram themselves goes through the same cycle.

Excitement

It’s very easy to tell when someone has picked up something new. THEY ABSOLUTELY WON’T SHUT UP ABOUT IT .  I remember when I started working out.  Everyone I ran into had to hear about my workout schedule, the foods I ate, how much fun I was having, and how much stronger I was feeling.  Back in those days if you talked to me you were going to hear about it whether you wanted to or not.  Now that other people do it to me I see just how annoying it can be .
The same thing happened with a close friend of mine. He picked up a sales job with high hopes of supplementing and eventually replacing his income.  We couldn’t have a conversation without him brining it up. He worked Company X’s name into every possible sentence.  To an outsider I’m sure he seem hypnotized (or at least crazy).

I experienced this again with another friend and his blog site.  One day out of the blue he decided to start a web site that would serve as his personal rant. This e-rant would bring him traffic in waves, glory, and eventually a big company buyout. For 3-4 days he worked diligently on the main page design.  His first post was a passionate declaration of what his site would have to offer filled with all the bragging and profanity that should accompany a personal rant site.

The next time I saw him he stopped me in my tracks.

“Did you see my post?????!!!!!!” he shouted with pride in his eyes.

“Yes, yes I saw it” I said.

That enthusiasm soon died off due to the next step.

Dip/Slump/Negative Feelings

That immediate rush of excitement is great.  You’re doing something new, the possibilities are endless, and the world belongs to you!

Then it happens.  Reality rears its ugly head.  Excitement and reality are like fire and water.  Excitement serves to ignite the fire.  Reality comes through and slowly puts the fire out.

This is bound to happen to anyone attempting to reprogram themselves or change their behaviors.  The 10 Million dollar question is “How do you handle this dose of reality?”
Fight or Flight?

Remember this concept from elementary school?  If not here’s a brief refresher.  The fight or flight response is the natural tendency to either run or fight in the face of danger.  That dose of reality is the flash of danger that triggers a fight or flight response.
Unfortunately, this is where many people slip in the reprogramming process.  It’s much easier and convenient to just give in and say “I can’t”, “it’s too hard”, or “that’s just not for me”.  Think about it.  They just roll of the tongue so easily.  They’re so comforting.  They’re there to stroke you when your feelings are hurt and provide a soft cushion to land on.   Statements like this relieve all the pressure from the situation you tried to correct.

There’s just one problem…it really does you no good in the long run.  None…Nada…Zip

Staying to fight is truly the road less traveled and for good reason.  Fights can get nasty.  Fights drain you mentally and physically.  Fights also introduce the possibility of doing something most of us dare not do.  It’s something so horrendous that it makes most people cringe just thinking about it.
Fights introduce the possibility of PAIN, LOSS, EMBARRASSMENT, or outright FAILURE.  We don’t like that word very much these days.  It’s a nasty little demon.

Here’s something to chew on when you’re thinking about reprogramming yourself.  If you start something and then stop at the first sign of danger you’re wasting your time, energy, and other valuable resources.  On top of that you’re still failing to do what you set out to do.  No matter how comfortable it may seem it’s really not helping you do what you set out to do.  If you stick with it and fight at least you’ve given yourself the chance to be fully reprogrammed.  9 times out of 10 thats all it takes to let the program become a part of you anyway.  Remember, without pain we’d never know what pleasure truly  is.

Phase 3 Completely Reprogrammed

If you’ve made it this far that means you’ve decided to fight rather than give up.  At this point you’ve done 95% of the hard work.  The highs of excitement put you on cloud 9 at the beginning.  Each day you jumped into the task giving it your heart and soul.  You set reminders for yourself.  You charted your accomplishments.  You sounded off to everyone that would listen about your new goal, program, or lifestyle.

At some point you experienced a dip in motivation to keep things going.  That zest that you had for this new lifestyle began to choke as results came slower than you expected.  Negative images and thoughts began to creep into your brain.  People may have urged you to return to your old lifestyle, you considered giving up, you considered going back to your old habits, and then you had to make a decision.

Will you fight or will you run away.  Hopefully, you decided to take the road less traveled and continue to fight.  People who resist the urge to run away begin to notice a change in themselves about a month into their reprogramming process.  Those things that were once too inconvenient now fit perfectly into your day.  Those mountains that you couldn’t climb over are now molehills that you stomp on.  Before long the new habit is so important that you don’t feel whole when it isn’t done.

That’s when you know you’ve successfully been reprogrammed.  Congratulations!

Conclusion

Reprogramming yourself and developing new habits isn’t a “hard” thing to do.  All it takes is consistency.  I’ve been through this process several times.  Most notably with weight loss and blogging/writing.

The first time I did it was when I decided to begin working out and lose weight.  In order to do it my lifestyle needed a complete make over.  Reprogramming myself was the obvious answer.  I experienced all the steps mentioned in this article.  When I began I was too excited to sit still.  Shortly  after that I became impatient and began doubting myself.  When the time came to fight or run I decided to stay and fight until the job was done.  Before I knew it was working out 5 days a week.  It’s developed into an unbreakable habit that’s helped me lose 50 lbs, improve my bench press from 180 lbs to 370 lbs, and drop 5 pants sizes.  Pretty effective if you ask me.

The second time I entered this process was when I decided to blog and write articles.  When I started I could write for 4-5 hours on end.  Words would glide off of my fingers and onto the page like magic.  It was effortless.  As the weeks passed it began to feel more like a chore than something I could genuinely enjoy and continue.  I was writing articles, submitting to blog carnivals, and checking my statistics like crazy.  When the numbers weren’t what I wanted them to be I began to reconsider my decision.

Was it really worth it?

Should I be doing this with my time?

The answer was a resounding  “Yes”.  It was  worth it and I will continue to do it.  I already have plans to continue writing, submitting to carnivals, submitting to ezines, and providing value for years to come.  The emails and comments I get on my blog and home page let me know that my writing is doing what I intended.  There’s really no reason to stop now.  In due time the proper results will come.

Reprogramming yourself is a process we all attempt at some point.  All of us try and many of us fail.  Failure to reprogram yourself is your own fault because you can only do so by selling yourself short and giving up.  Always remember that the process of changing your habits always follows this outline:

1. Identification of  Patterns and Gaps
2. Reprogramming
1. Excitement
2. Dip/Slump/Negative Feelings
3. Fight or Flight?
3. Completely Reprogrammed

This process mirrors life.  You get out of it exactly what you put into it.  Nothing more and nothing less.

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe scroll to the bottom of the page, click on “entries RSS”, and select the page you’d prefer.  Forward this information to anyone who can draw benefit from it.  Thanks for reading and have a great day!

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 20th, 2007 at 5:46 pm and is filed under Training, Motivation, Personal Development, Change, Beliefs, Weight Loss. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.