The Assault on Macho Men Round 2 - I have No Emotions Sir
The Assault on Macho men continues. Today’s topic is emotions or the lack of emotions men tend to display. There are millions of stories I could tell about this one but I’ll pick my absolute favorite.
A few months ago I was watching a discussion on BET. I’m not a big TV fan but I’ll give it a shot if something interesting or stimulating is on. This show was called something like "The Fall of Black Men". Every topic under the sun was thrown around from single parent homes to homosexuality.
The crowd seemed to be a good mix of young, middle aged, old, professional, blue collar, single, and married men. Decent intellectual conversation was going on. Even the most taboo topic (homosexuality) didn’t generate the crowd uproar that I expected. Everything was cruising along fine then out of nowhere it happened. The mood of the room took a turn for the worse.
Why you ask? A middle aged man in the room brought up the topic of showing your emotions. He specifically mentioned crying and when is it "Ok" or "Not Ok" to cry. To say I was shocked at the responses would be like saying there’s sand in the desert. The room exploded and no one was able to get a word in edgewise.
After 30 seconds of chaos the moderator regained control and handed the floor over to a man who appeared to be around the age of 25. I could tell I wasn’t going to like his answer. You could see him building up his macho man reply. He cocked his hat to the side and slumped down in the chair and began to speak.
"I’m a man and I have a son. I tell my son like my father told me…crying is for women! REAL MEN DON’T CRY. PERIOD. If you’re out crying where people can see you then you just aren’t a real man. That’s all there is to it. You can cry in private, but don’t let me see it. That’s just not what a man’s man would do."
My jaw hit the floor. I couldn’t believe my ears. There was a 25 year old man on national TV telling the world that a real man doesn’t cry. The reason? Crying is weak. He went on to say (and reiterate several times) that crying is a sign of weakness.
So let’s get this correct. In order to be a real man you have to
- Hide your feelings
- Lie to yourself
- Practice a deficiency in communication skills
- Be “hard” at all times possible
Thanks but no thanks.
Unfortunately plenty of my fellow men think the same way. Is it me or is that just a little bit immature, childish, and ridiculous?
A real man can express his emotions without feeling “weak”, “soft”, “squishy”, or “fake”. It’s called communication. It’s a good skill to have. Try it out…you might like it.
Round 3 next Monday 
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