Never Settle For Less

THAT’S JUST NOT FAIR!

The battle cry heard around the world.  That’s just not right!  That’s not fair!  Things shouldn’t be that way!  Fairness (or lack thereof) is leaned on when the chips are down.  When all hope is lost.  When things just don’t seem to go our way.  When someone else has the decided advantage.

Whenever I hear “Oh that’s just not fair” I cringe. Not because I hate the word.  I cringe because it’s an excuse used by us. The “little guys and girls of the world” to explain a perceived playing field imbalance.  Standing on the top of a mountain and yelling of the unfairness of the world brings nothing into our lives.
It’s a simple fact of life that some people have gifts that others do not.  Everywhere I go I run into someone who has an advantage over me in

• Size
• Strength
• Intelligence
• Speed
• Physical Attractiveness
• Wealth
• Writing Ability

It used to drive me up a wall to meet anyone with an advantage over me.  It didn’t take long for that to change.  I grew tired of being angry and jealous of the gifts that others have.  I realized just how big a waste of my time it was.

Fairness Exercise

Now ask yourself this.  How much of this can I(or am I willing to) change?  If you’re willing and able to change all 10 then I’m very happy for you.  You haven’t wasted a second of your time and you’ve created 10 just causes to fight for.

For the rest of us lets review the list.  How many of the worlds unfair dealings are you willing to change?  If its not very many then here’s a question.  How much of your time did you just lose making that list?  How often do you do this every day?  Couldn’t your time be better spent crafting a life you want? Of course it could.

A World of Fairness

Imagine what the world would be like if everything where fair.  If everything were equal.  If we all had the same talents, motivations, and experiences. We’d all be robots waiting for the next program to download.  Oh so exciting .

Where would we be without the “unfair” genius of Shakespeare, Langston Hughes, Martin Luther King Jr., Albert Einstein, Thomas Edison, etc etc?

What would modern life be like if the “unfair” creativity behind inventions like Ipods, computers, bluetooth technology, fuel injection engines, mp3s, or the internet had been suppressed?

In all likelihood if life were “fair” we’d still be rubbing rocks together to make fire.  We’d still think the world is flat.  TV’s would still weigh about 300 lbs.  Our lives would be without music, art, electricity, and comedy.  Is that “fair”?

Bad News/Good News

Bad News

As long as we are breathing things will remain”unfair”. There are some things that never change.  Celebrities will have children that are born into homes valued at or around $999,999,999,999,999.99 USD.  Some people will be born with the ability to sell dirt in the desert.  Some people will have brains with the processing power of a supercomputer.

If you’re one of these lucky few then here’s a sticker for you

You win.  Go away.  Seriously leave now .

Good News

The playing field can be easily leveled.    People have many talents and advantages that they either don’t acknowledge or don’t know about.  The good thing is they are right below the surface.  You just need to discover them. Once you discover them things clear up dramatically and you no longer feel the need to deem things “fair” and unfair”.

Our world isn’t 100% fair.  That fact makes it an interesting, compelling, and exciting place to live in.  I wouldn’t have it any other way.

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Making progress towards or meeting your fitness goals is a double edged sword.  Obviously it feels good to see that fat melt off your body.  Friends, family members, and coworkers shower you with a storm of compliments.  You finally get to drop off the "old you" at The Salvation Army’s donation bin.  By now you’re probably asking yourself "What’s the downside?".  Didn’t we all start down the path to better fitness in order to do things like

• Lose fat, build muscle and look better? Yes
• Be complimented for a discipline and hard work? Yes
• Get rid of the clothes that represented our old selves? Yes

Here’s the downside.  Everybody reading this blog and achieving fitness success is a human being.  From time to time we let our emotions and outside influences get the best of us. Once we start achieving results we get EXCITED.  With more excitement comes a better body, improved self-esteem, and a zest for the gym.

Then out of nowhere it happens!  Like a thief in the night the curse strikes.  We start to linger in front of that mirror a little longer to admire ourselves (you’ve worked this hard you deserve it right?).  We start to allow more cheat meals into the diet (you’ve worked this hard you deserve it right?).  Compliments massage the ear like our favorite love song (Thank you for the compliment.  I was just thinking that my chest looks awesome as well!)
As the Fitness Success Curse takes over you begin to notice a disturbing change.  The results that were once EASY to come by are mysteriously out of reach.  Before the curse infected you the gym was your playground.  It was yours for the taking every single day.  Before the curse took over you wouldn’t in your wildest dreams picture yourself:

• Breaking for 2-3 minutes between sets
• Working with the same resistance for a month straight
• Laughing and joking mid workout
• Taking a week off
• Eating out 4 times a week

The Fitness Success Curse makes you a shell of your former self.  I’ve fallen victim to it and used the following tactics to recover.

Don’t be Too Hard on Yourself

You have worked very hard for what you’ve achieved.  Enjoy the fruits of your labor and the body you have created.  Human beings are allowed to go through funks.  No one on planet earth can be perfect at all times.  If you find yourself slipping on the diet or training then call it a break.  Take this time to just relax!  WARNING:  Don’t let the break linger too long or you’ll ruin all your good work.  Set a date on the calendar to snap back into the swing of things and get back on track and stick to this date no matter what.

Return to Familiar Territory

I always have liked the phrase “stick with what got you here”.  Unfortunately, this is bad advice in fitness.  If your routine is the same for too long your progress will stop.  As people we find comfort in the familiar.  Revisit old workouts that you enjoyed and brought success.  You’ll be surprised at how much stronger you’ve gotten.  Your confidence will surge.  Most importantly you’ll back in the swing of things.  All of a sudden you’re back

Create New Goals

Going to the gym is a results based outing.  If you have no goals you’ll just shoot yourself in the foot.  You will literally be wasting your time.  Set out a clear set of goals like the old you had.

The Fitness Success Curse strikes many people.  It’s difficult to acknowledge once you’ve achieved a certain degree of progress.  A bit of self-reflection is in order to get the train back on the tracks. It can be easily tackled by remembering the antedote:

1. Don’t be too hard on yourself
2. Return to Familiar Territory
3. Create New Goals

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Eminem - Rapper/Entertainer

Oprah - Talk Show Host/Leader of the Free World

Christopher Gardner - Businessman/Author/Speaker

What do they all have in common? At a glance this list is as disjointed as they come.  You have a rebellious rapper, the most popular talk show host on earth, and one of America’s most interesting and motivating businessmen.  On the surface they don’t seem to share much in common besides their wealth.  In fact nothing could be farther from the truth.

Eminem grew up in a poor fatherless environment in Michigan.  Before his rap career took off his life was headed nowhere.  As a result he had to work odd jobs to make sure his daughter was fed.  Eventually, he began to take his career as a musician seriously.  Tirelessly, he put in hours of work.  He worked local shows and circuits until he was picked up by Dr. Dre and Aftermath records.  The rest is history.

Oprah Winfrey was born into rural poverty in Mississippi.  The first six years of her life where spent with her grandmother where she learned to read at a very young age.  She used her background and experiences to become an Emmy Award winner and billionaire many times over.

Christopher Gardner is the main character from the autobiographical movie The Pursuit of Happyness.  The story is both intriguing and heart wrenching.  In it Chris and his son end up living on the streets as he searches for a way to support his son.  When its all said and done he lands a job at a premier stock brokerage firm without so much as a college degree.  Today he lives the life of his dreams.

Here’s the common thread.  Eminem, Oprah, and Christopher Gardner all started from the bottom.  Each came from a terrible situation.  Determined to succeed they set out to meet their goals and never looked back.

So what is it about being at rock bottom that motivates the human soul?  What forces one to look deep within him or herself and discover what they are truly meant to be?  Look closer into the microscope.  The answer is staring right into your eyes.

The Only Choice is to Improve or Die

Look at the 3 situations I’ve described above.  Each person was faced with a basic decision.  Their fight or flight instincts were triggered and they responded with full force.  When their backs where against the wall they pushed relentlessly to free themselves.

Herein lies an issue.  Most of us DON’T have our backs pressed against a wall.  That insatiable hunger for more hasn’t been sparked.  We aren’t nit picking over the last shred of meat in the fridge or living in cardboard boxes in the streets.  As a result we go about life never really exerting ourselves.  The comfort zones we so eagerly seek now hold us down.

I’ve had this same feeling before.  Right before I decided to lose weight.  I was angry with myself for being so sloppy and I knew a change was in order.  Many programs and exercise attempts had fallen short in the past.  Honestly, I was tired of losing and falling short. My focus and determination became razor sharp.  I packaged my lunch for work daily, worked out like a maniac, and ran 6 miles like I was running 1. Before long my waist had shrunk 5.25 inches (40 - 34.75) and I’d lost 50 lbs.  That’s the closest I’ve come to feeling that insatiable hunger.  Everytime I sit down to write this blog it resurfaces (good news )

So how do you press yourself?  How do  you put yourself in improve or die mode?

How do you do it?

1. Take Yourself and Your Goals Seriously –> People rarely see your vision.  Don’t be distracted by the words of others.
2. Improve Inch by Inch –> Improvement takes time.  Build a solid foundation and throw another brick on every single day.
3. Dare to Improve –> Never get comfortable.  Comfort = death
4. Develop an Improve or Die Mentality –> Set goals and live by them.  Be prepared to REWARD yourself for achievements as well as PUNISH yourself for failure.  Be accountable.
5. Let the Starting line motivate you –> Oftentimes webecome intimidated by the scope of the task.  Be excited about what you will accomplish and you will find ways to do it.  The task is only as big as you make it.  You can either make mountains or molehills.  The choice is yours.

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Have you ever payed any attention to what the image of a man is "supposed" to be?  If you haven’t then pick a man out of a crowd (any one should do). Fire up a conversation about sex, emotions, life, dreams, working out, eating, or anything remotely emotional like homosexuals (OH MY GOD A GAY DUDE IS WITHIN A BAJILLION FEET OF ME!!!!! OH MY GOD!OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!) and you’re likely to get some sort of pre-programmed Macho Man grunt.

Somewhere in the evolutionary chain the dean of all that is "manly" decided that in order to uphold the code you must:

1. Hide your true talents
   
2. Display no emotion
3. Juggle 3-4 women
   
4. Practice Homophobia 24/7

Even though it happens daily I’m always shocked to run into a true "Macho Man".  I don’t understand what you’re trying to communicate.  However, I do know how ridiculous the mentality is.

With that said I will launch my own personal assault on the Macho Men of this world.  I plan on showing them that its ok to be talented, show your emotions, be of normal size, and dream all while being a man.  It’s possible.  I know because I do it.  It’s actually very fun.

On Monday for the next six weeks I will launch a full scale assault on the six tenants of being a Macho Man.  Don’t turn into cavemen on me before its over .

Think back on your school days for a minute.  Remember all the teachers, coaches, principals, professors, advisors, and everybody else who was dishing out advice for the better part of life.

I’m sure if you think long and hard you’ll remember some very, very interesting people.  I have at least 10 people come to mind when I do this exercise.  I could fill up half the internet with some of the ridiculous teachers I’ve had.

Today I’m going to focus on one coach in particular.  Coach McPherson was an assistant coach on my high school football team.  By all accounts he did nothing but yell and scream at everybody.  Sometimes he even had a reason.  He was bout 6′3" tall, 350 lbs, and 35% bodyfat.  For some reason he was our cardiovascular fitness coach.  Yes that’s right.  He was the guy yelling and screaming and blowing the whistles during all the drills.  Perfect man for the job.

At some point in the history of Crisp County High School football an evil man created a drill called the Cougar Alley.  I don’t know who this evil man is or why he created the drill but he did.  The Cougar Alley was a cardiovascular obstacle course.  It seemed like something out of U.S. Army basic training.  Exercises were linked together and 1 Cougar Alley encompassed ALL of the following:

• 10 Pushups
• Sprint through 20 Tires
• Rope Drill
• Tackling a ball carrier
• Catching the ball
• 30 yard sprint

All this was timed.  We’d prefer if you finish that in under 60 seconds sir .

Coach McPherson took  great pride is overseeing this activity.  The team was broken out into sub groups to tackle this task.  The entire time he’d be holding that whistle.  Waiting in anticipation for someone to mess up.  If one person ever made a mistake his entire unit was forced to repeat the Cougar Alley.

One day I had the misfortune of messing up.  I was the last to go.  I was exhausted.  The temperature was 105 degrees outside.  I was ready to pack it in and go home.  Instead of sprinting the last 30 yards I lightly jogged it out.  As soon as I finished I heard that dreaded whistle.  Coach McPherson stormed over to me with that goofy smile on his face.

“Smith!  What was that son?” he bellowed in that thick southern drawl.

“It was a Cougar Alley” I said.  I wasn’t up for this exchange so I kept my mouth closed after that.

“Son, that’s not a Cougar Alley.  You didn’t SPRINT out at the end.  You’re out here prancing around like a woman” he was getting more excited.

Next thing you know he shouts out “LINE EM UP.  Mr. Smith isn’t paying the proper respects to the Cougar Alleys”.  Then he turned to me and in a thick southern drawl said

“You know the motto Mr. Smith. Do it RIGHT do it LIGHT.  Do it WRONG do it LONG!”

With that the Cougar Alleys started again.  AAAAHH.

I forgot about Coach McPherson shortly after I left high school.  He came back into my consciousness after I began working out to lose weight.  When I started out I knew exactly what to do. I hired a personal trainer and we put together a plan. He covered everything I needed to do:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat six small meals a day
3. Perform cardiovascular exercise
4. Lift weights

Of the 4 I regularly performed one.  I lifted weights like a maniac because I enjoyed it!  For nearly a year I ignored the other 3 factors.  One day I looked in the mirror and realized that I’d zero progress towards cutting.  Sure I was bigger and stronger but neither was an original goal.  A year had been wasted.  It was time to get on track.  As I integrated water consumption, small meals, and cardio into my routine I began to notice results.  I went from 250 lbs down to 205 in a matter of 7 months!

Coach McPherson’s voice came back to taunt me

“You know the motto Mr. Smith. Do it RIGHT do it LIGHT.  Do it WRONG do it LONG!”

As much as I hate to admit it.  He was right.  I’d wasted a year of my time trying to defy the laws of physics and defeat the human body.  Had I listened from the beginning and done things the right way I would’ve achieved my goals much faster.  Even though I’m still not a Coach McPherson fan by any stretch I must admit that he was right.

Apply this lesson to life.  It’s very tempting to be lazy and try to beat the system with trickery.  In the end all the work arounds will bring you back to square one.  It’s very unlikely that you’ll be any further along and you will have succeeded in wasting some valuable time.  Value your time and do things right the first time.  It’s shorter, you reap more benefits, and you are allowing yourself to spend time being successful rather than wasteful. Who doesn’t want that?

WAKE UP!

WAKE UP!

WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU??!!

ARE YOU ALIVE??

I screamed over and over.  For 30 minutes straight I screamed at everyone who walked past me.  Every attempt I made to communicate fell on deaf ears.  Every cry of WAKE UP! WAKE UP! went unnoticed.  No matter how loud I yelled nobody was responding.  That’s when it hit me.  Nobody can hear what you THINK good sir!

Let me explain.  Last Saturday my best friend and I were walking around Discover Mills Mall in Lawrenceville, GA.  It’s a nice family mall in an Atlanta suburb.  It was a spur of the moment agreement between bored friends.

As we walked around the mall I noticed a disturbing trend.  Only 1 in about 10 faces had a smile on it and that same number of people even acknowledged my “Hellos”, “How you doing?”, or “Good Morning”.  I thought I was in a zombie movie for a minute.  The more attention I paid to it the more depressing it became.  90% of the people in the place looked like they were beat down by being alive.  Most of the people were middle aged families who appeared to be quite successful based on the cars in the parking lot (I know thats not saying much but what else do I have). An overwhelming aura of sadness seemed to float through the building.  Needless to say, I was HAPPY to leave when we did.
That encounter led to this blog “The 5 Things You Can’t Live Without”

1 - A Career You Love

I don’t care what ANYBODY says.  As an adult your career defines you.  It determines everything about you

• Who you hang out with
• Who you marry
• Where you live
• What you eat
• Your Income
• Your outlook on life
• How society views you
• How you view society
• How you spend your time

Have you ever heard a description of an adult that doesn’t involve how that person makes a living?  9 times out of 10 the career will be brought up in some shape, form, or fashion.

With that being said why spend your days somewhere that makes you unhappy?  Why get up and let out a HUGE sigh as you start the daily routine?  If you’re going to be there 75-80 percent of your waking hours shouldn’t you at least like it?
I can hear what you’re saying as you read this.  I can’t make a decent living following my passion.  2 questions for you:

1. What’s a decent living?
2. Why not?

If you can answer those 2 questions you can follow your passion and do things you love to do.

Whenever I hear someone say they can’t earn money in their passion I think of McDonald’s.  When I was younger I was absolutely in love with McDonald’s.  It was nothing to gobble down 3 double cheeseburgers, 6 apple pies, 5 McFlurries, and a 5 Super Size Fries in a week.  Once I focused on fitness I put McDonald’s to bed. Relegating it to “I’m hungry and I can’t possibly find anything else so I’ll take this” status.  Come to find out PLENTY of adults have done this.  I really can’t think of a single person I know who ENJOYS that food! From what I can tell it’s almost become like Wal-Mart.  People hate it but still use it.
One day I ended up in a “I can’t possibly find anything else so I’ll take this mood”.  It was around 2 pm on a Saturday.  The lines were long so I began to count heads out of boredom.  When I got done my count was up to 45 people at 2pm!  When I went outside I did the same thing with the cars.  There were 10 cars with 2 people each for a grand total of 65 people.  I’ll say the average ticket at McDonald’s is $5.00.  So in a 15 minute span that McDonald’s made $325 from people who in all likelihood weren’t too thrilled to even be eating it.  Now let’s say that’s an hour’s worth of income for that store.  If you multiply that by 24 you get $7800.

If a low traffic McDonald’s can generate $7800 in a day selling food that people aren’t clamoring to eat. You can definitely make a living giving people something you LOVE.

As I stated earlier EVERYTHING is tied to your career so don’t shortchange yourself.

2 - A Mate that You Enjoy

The stigma that you must be married, have a mate, or be in the everlasting quest to pass on your genes is really destroying people’s lives.  The enormous pressure to mate or die (no matter who it is) is ridiculous.

I’ve never understood the fixation with just having someone on your arm.  I’m sure its nice to have someone rubbing on your arm, tickling your neck, and fogging up a window.  What does it matter if the person doesn’t improve your quality of life? Does it really help?

I have a theory on mates.  If you don’t keep you intrigued, help you grow, and make you happy then its time to go shopping for one that does.  Simple enough isn’t it?

Your mate is the first person you see in the morning and the last one you see at night.  Make it a face that you WANT to see.

3 - Your Own Identity

It’s so painless to be what everyone else wants you to be.  Just go with the flow and hope for the best right?  WRONG.  You owe yourself the respect of being your own man or woman.

Being yourself is a hard road.  Here’s why.  Being who you really want to be often means contradicting what people think you should say and do.  Here’s another question…WHO CARES???.

Forging your own identity will make you much happier in the long run.  A former manager of mine confessed a deep secret to me one day.  We were in her office one day talking and out of no where she closed the door.  Whenever the door is shut a bad conversation usually goes on.  I began to go through my mental check list.

• Been coming in on time? Check!
• Been doing all your work? Check!
• Been going the extra mile? Check!
• Been kissing up?? ….

Hopefully, my lack of kissing up won’t get me fired.  She began to speak in a tone I didn’t quite realize.  It seemed like she was on the verge of tears.  We’d had a tough stretch of work so I figured that it was finally getting to her.  The words that she spoke next caught me totally off guard.

“You know what.  I hate this job.  I really wanted to go into music.  I gave it up to do what everyone else said I should” she said.  I was floored.  There she sat with a good family, a nice sized house, a couple of cars, and a 6-figure salary.  She hated her existence because she took the path that everybody else paved for her.  To this day she hates every moment of it but at least she hides it well.

Your own identity is 3000% more important than anything anyone else wants to force on you.

4 - Health and Vitality

Energy is the basis for everything.  When you have more energy you can bring more to your life.  Being energetic and positive is one of the best favors you can do yourself. I’m not saying you have to buzz and glow with life each and every day.  That’s just not human.  Being negative and pessimistic will glue a frown on your face.

My #1 recommendation for keeping your health and vitality up to par is getting to the gym.  That’s probably not an issue on bodybuilding.com but its worth saying.  The gym allows you to blow off steam with the side effects of looking better, getting stronger, being cooler than everybody else , improving your cardiovascular fitness, providing a networking opportunity, and a million more benefits.

Still reading?  You should be in the gym.  Go, go, now.

5 - The Drive to Make it All Happen

Give yourself the opportunity to explore the 4 items listed above.  You have to push yourself and your limits if you really want to find the career you love, a mate to die for, your own identity, and good health.  The road can be hard.  At times you may be the only one there with little to no support. Challenge yourself to get those things that you really want and need.  In the end its all worth it.

Happiness is the best gift you can give yourself.  Nothing can beat it.  It’s the only priceless gym on earth.  Make yourself happy and you can do wonders for the rest of the world.
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It seems that 99% of things change at a rapid pace.  Just as we’ve finally adjusted to the way things are something new comes along and blows us away.  Before I continue I’d like you to perform an exercise with me.

Think about yourself 5 years ago.  Remember the things you used to own or care about?  The TV, clothes, shoes, car, video games, toys for the kids, relationships, and whatever else you owned or where involved with.  Now fast forward to today.  Of those things you listed.  How many of them are still a regular part of your daily life?  I’m willing to bet about $1,000 (my whole life’s savings) that the number is between 1 and 1.5 .

Follow me as I illustrate more points.
Technology

For the past 3 weeks I’ve been personally struggling with a technology change.  As you may or may not now I plan to go into the business of professional speaking in the future.  My speaking coach Phil Parker ( www.philparker.com ) has one  speaker that he considers to be the pinnacle.  In his opinion Nido Qubein is the best on the planet.   Naturally, I wanted to see the best on the planet and form some opinions of my own.
Unfortunately, the only videos Phil had were in VHS format.  I hadn’t thought about a VCR in 8 years before he brought it up.  I was determined to watch the videos one way or another.

Target was my first stop on the VCR tour.  Their best offering was a VCR/DVD combo for $55.  I refuse to pay $55 for a VCR.  Next on the tour was Wal-Mart.  Same results as Target.  Let me repeat…I’m not paying $55 for outdated technology.  Finally, I went down to Goodwill.  Guess what?  THEY DIDN’T HAVE ANY.

I began to grow more and more annoyed by the moment and then a light bulb went off in my head.  DEAR OLD GRANDMA has plenty of VCRs!  Bear in mind that grandma is over 60 years old.  When I asked her to borrow a VCR the first thing she did was laugh.  The person who uses the out of date tape chewers was laughing at me for using one.  Once she got done making fun of me she agreed to send it. Once she got done with her jokes she sent me the VCR.  Must love the family right?

Say it with me…The Only Constant is Change

Career Options

Remember when they were 2 ways to make money?

1. Work for a Gigantic Company
2. Own a Gigantic Company

These days people are making money a million different ways. A friend of mine makes junior executive level pay playing online poker.  For about 6 months I was getting approached by a network marketer everywhere except the gym shower.  YouTube, MySpace, Facebook, Fark, and countless other websites have sprung up to provide their owners with vibrant and lucrative income streams.  Last week I went to an out of the box dating event here in Atlanta.  Without going into too much detail I’ll just say it’s easy to meet women if you let them beat you in a few innocent board games (for more information visit www.playdateatl.com).

Having said that I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that plenty of people still have great experiences working within a small, medium, or large company as well.   See how the world has expanded and stretched to accommodate a variety of career choices instead of just 2?
Say it with me again…The Only Constant is Change

Marriage

When I was younger marriage was a REALLY big deal.  People took the words “till death do us part” SERIOUSLY.  Today that seems to be less and less the case.

Case and point.  Yesterday I saw an article on MSN weighing the pros and cons of a “starter” marriage.  The idea is laid out in all its glory with supporting stories and discussion.  While I personally think the idea of marrying someone for practice is disgusting it’s not something that I can control.  I couldn’t imagine how I’d feel if I were the practice target.  Could you?
Say it with me for the last time…The Only Constant is Change

Here’s the link to that article:

http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/couplesandmarriage/articlemc.aspx?cp-documentid=5352156&pag
e=3

Charge is a major part of life.  This blog has only scratched the surface of how things change so rapidly in our lives.  With that being said try not to become too attached the way things are.  You may wake up in a year or 2 and be totally out of touch.  You wouldn’t want that would you?

If you like this blog please bookmark this page or RSS subscribe.  To RSS subscribe click on entries RSS and select the page you’d prefer.  Thanks for reading.

In the spirit of the football season I’ve decided to write a blog about one of the most challenging positions in the game.  Coaches and players call it the “island” because you’re basically out there alone.  On top of that its a very thankless position.

When you’re doing good people barely even notice.  You may get a comment here or there but not too much fuss is made about it.  All is right in the world.  The clouds are blue and the sun is shining.  The birds are singing.

Slip up and make one mistake and things go downhill in a hurry.  Every mistake the cornerback makes is magnified.  He’s one of the few players on the field who isn’t allowed to be human!   All of a sudden people are paying attention.  Screams of   “Get that guy out of there”, “you suck”, and “get that chump out of the game” start to ring out.    On top of that you get to watch the other team celebrate your failure.  I’ve yet to mention something…

All this happens in the span of about 4 seconds.  In 4 seconds you go from happy and in good spirits to dejected in terrible spirits.  Even worse is that you have a few hundred (or even a few thousand) people reminding you about it.  You then have about 60 seconds pull your face off the ground, recompose yourself, and return to form for the next play.

If you don’t have control of yourself you ride that roller coaster of emotions the whole game and your performance suffers. Every 60 seconds you’re wiping the slate clean (unless you’re playing VERY well).  You have no time to worry about what happened on the play where you gave up 3 yds, 15 yds, or 60 yds.  If you do then you’re already done.  You’re letting your team and fans down.  Bad cornerbacks stay on the roller coaster.  Good cornerbacks never get on it to begin with.

A few years ago I was discussing what goes through your head when you give up a big play with a friend of mine who used to play the position.  He said, “It feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.  Everyone is disappointed in you, you’re disappointed in yourself, you feel almost worthless, and the guy who just roasted you is dancing in your face letting you know he’s the best thing with 2 legs to touch the field”.  That’s a heavy load to carry especially in a position where you’re isolated and must rely on yourself and yourself only.

In a position like that you’re forced to possess a SELECTIVE and SHORT memory.  The best cornerbacks truly have it mastered.  When they give up a big play they get up and brush themselves off in a manner that’s almost inhuman.  They have to or else they can’t be their best.  That island is a lonely place and I commend anyone who step’s out there to command it.

Here is the point that I want to drive home.  Life is just like that island.  Many things come our way on a daily basis ranging from great to ridiculously awful.  We do 1 of 2 things when this happens.  Either learn to handle the situation or be destroyed by it.  I’ve learned that living like a cornerback is extremely helpful.  From time to time I’ll 100% drop the ball on something.  When I do either someone will let me know it or I know it myself.  Worrying over it and dwelling on it is a big waste of time and productivity so I don’t sweat it.  I look at the situation and learn what I need to learn.  Never do I weigh myself down thinking about what I’ve done wrong.  Life is too short.

Learn to brush the little things off so that you can keep your eyes on the big picture and ultimate goal.  If you get too caught up in what you’ve done wrong you’ll have a really difficult time doing things better.  Live like a cornerback by taking the wins as they come and learning but dwelling on the losses.

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These days its relatively easy to lose your focus.  So many things get thrown our way in the course of just one day. Between working long hours, going to the gym, playing with the kids, feeding the dog, going grocery shopping, cleaning up the house, and trying to maintain a healthy lifestyle it’s easy to forget which way is which.  Did I forget to mention we also need to rest and relax.  With so many things pulling at our attention its easy to lose focus on the things that really matter.  Whenever I feel myself losing grips with what I came to do I answer three simple questions:

• Why do I do what I do?
• What am I doing?
• Who do I do it for?

Remember WHY you came to the party

Knowing why you do something is the most important aspect of staying focused.  If you don’t pay attention to why you do something you’re not likely to get very far.  I’ll use myself as an example.

When I started working out I knew exactly why I was there.  I was sick and tired of being out of shape and I knew I could do better.  Weighing in at 250 lbs, sporting the 40 inch waist, and wearing a XXL T-shirt wasn’t doing much for me.  Like most people on the outside looking in I wanted the coveted “six pack”.  I even thought I could carve it out in 30 days or less thanks to some late night infomercials (yup…I too was a supreme sucker).

Vain as it was the “six pack” was my motivation.  Whenever I was asked “why do you workout so much” the answer was simple.  I’m trying to get my six pack to show.  People laughed and giggled, called me a health freak, and one of my very best friends even said my goal was unrealistic.  Talking doesn’t get to me much so I kept my eyes on the prize.  Each day I’d wake up with six-pack on the brain.

Eventually my hard work began to pay off.  The fat was peeling off.  The muscles were bulging.  People were still talking but the comments changed dramtically.  Instead of laughing they were admiring my dedication, asking me to personalize workouts for them, and now I’m looking as good or better than the friend who said it wasn’t going to happen.  I’m not saying it to brag but it does prove my point.

The knowledge of WHY you’re in the game keeps you in the game.  It’s not very likely that everybody will understand you.  It’s not important that they do either.  All that matters is that you can look yourself in the mirror and know WHY you’re driven to chase your goals. It may sound silly.  It may be unpopular.  It might be borderline crazy!  Honestly, who cares if its borderline crazy because its your motivation to do what you do.

I write this bodyblog because I’m practicing for when I launch my own blog site in late December/early January time frame.  I believe I have much to offer the world and I intend on doing just that.  I’ll use that site as the basis for my Professional Speaking business.  Eventually, I’ll replace my current income with profits from my internet business and be on my merry way.  So that’s WHY I’m here 2-3 days a week doing all I can to bring the best blogs I possibly can.  Thats sound silly to a good number of people.  So did losing 50 lbs to see six stomach muscles.  Oh yeah…I’m starting to see those muscles I was aiming for.
Remember WHY you came.

Pay attention to WHAT you’re doing

Spend a good amount of your time thinking about WHAT you do. 95% of what I do is done for a reason.  Some people say I have a premeditated agenda.  I prefer to say I’m living with purpose.  I’d much rather do things that have some tangible results versus spinning in the hamster wheel.
I’ve met plenty of people who want to get buff in the gym.  A good number of those people hop on the elliptical machine EVERY SINGLE DAY.  4 months  later they’re complaining about their shoulders and biceps not getting bigger.  If they knew WHAT they were doing they wouldn’t come close to making a ridiculous statement like this.  I personally value my time way too much to not have a pretty good idea of what I’m doing before I hop into something.

I urge you to place a high value on your time.  When you do you’re not very likely to waste it not knowing what’s going on. Spend your time doing things that add value and you really can’t go wrong.  Once I began to focus on my productivity and getting outcomes I had to cut out many frivolous activities and add better ones like:

1. I dramatically reduced the time I spend watching TV
• It’s down from about 30 hours a week to about 3
2. I totally cut out video games
• It’s not that I don’t enjoy video games they just don’t produce much value for me
3. I started reading more books and gaining more knowledge
• No matter what jungle you play in knowledge is king

Your quality of life improves dramatically when you focus on WHAT you do.  Their really is no other option.