The Self-Love Journey of an Amateur

Those who consistantly read my blog will probably remember the angry jackass I mentioned in a previous entry:
"There’s this guy at my gym who just throws down the weights, kicks water bottles across the floor, and shouts at members who are using the equipment he wants to use. He’s pretty large (in a very muscular sort of way) and sometimes I wonder if he’s got roid rage."

Now that he has done two contests (2nd in one/first in his class for a national qualifier/first in his class and 3rd overall in a local show), he has gotten twice as bad. He doesn’t work out much anymore. He just poses in the mirror. I hate to admit it, but he is rather hot. One day, I was checking him out as he was ostentatiously posing. I gave him exactly what he wanted, I know, but I was mesmerized at his terrific physique, PERFECT tan, insane vascularity, and PAPER THIN skin. He came up to me, flexed his muscles for the 32749047093274trillionth time, and said, "Hey sexy, you wanna feel that? ROCK HARD BABY!" I started laughing hysterically. He also flexes his muscles for the smaller and younger guys in the gym and says, "YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE THIS?? COME TALK TO ME!!! LOOK!! I’m SUPER TIGHT. SHREDDED!!!"

One day a few weeks ago, he struck up a conversation with me about bodybuilding and said, "I’m one of the biggest guys in this gym and NO ONE has me beat on upper body. NO ONE. My upper body is the best in this gym, I can tell you that right now. You have great calves. What do you do?" I said, "Besides my leg day weight training? I ride my bike, run, use the stepper, and…" (he’s nodding along at this point like he does all that too) "…I walk in heels a lot. If you want great calves, you need to walk in heels, too."

Sadly, I see him walking on his tippy toes from time to time. I suppose he’s trying to simulate the effect of walking in heels.

Even more sadly, if he DID come into the gym walking in heels, there would be at least three other guys walking in heels the next week.

Then, there is this other guy who always works out wearing almost nothing. I mean, this dude wears shirts cut lower than most of mine. They are usually sliced at the sides to show off as much chest, back, and abs as he can get away with. To top the outfit off, he wears Speedos. He has a great body (shame; if he was flabby and did this, it would be 80 times as funny). He drives a little Corvette decked out with lots of Superman logos, super expensive rims, a huuuuuuuge window decal in the front saying "TERMINATOR" and another one on the rear saying "I’LL BE BACK!" He is actually a pretty friendly guy, but his narcissism is comical.

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 25th, 2009 at 12:24 am and is filed under Training. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.