Read My Mind!

Today the hip tightness has caught up to me. The sudden 25 pound weight gain, lack of gym attendance, zero stretching, and 4 heavy moving/cleanup days, my muscles have all tensed up due to additional extreme stress in my life….all within a month after competing.

After sitting for more than a few minutes, I have a hard time standing up and walking. My right hip pulls down my leg and up my core front and back. I took ibuprofen..no help. I went to the gym anyway and worked arms (great workout by the way) and did 20 minutes cardio and 35 minutes stretching. I feel a little better now but one of my trainers is going to stretch me and rub me out in the morning.

Looking in the mirror tonight, my thickness is very unappealing in the midsection. I miss the body I had just a month ago…but I look forward to a new improved one in the months to come:

Hey…I was supposed to ease into things this week! But instead as soon as I got there I opened my mouth up and said hello to the fellas in the freeweight section. Damnit! They reeled me in and had me pushing twice the weight that I ever used!! I think they want to make me their little woman bodybuilder of the gym lmao!! I try to resist but when they have total confidence in what I can push, I try it and it gets addicting! I really do think I enjoy powerlifting…such a mental thing…I remember when I used to try deadlifts a lot. Hmmm something to work up to again.

So I did chest only today: presses, flies, dips, and pushups. 20 minute stairmaster cardio. oh…what did i do on the incline barbell press? 95 12 reps, 115 10 reps, 105 8 reps……def need my spotter though. thank goodness it’s one of the biggest guys in the gym….need a tan?

It’s a trip. Everytime I pick myself up again, I feel more motivated, more focused, more skilled. This time around I will be driven so well that I’ll be able to make muscle gain AND cut fat. This time I will have outstanding physical output and stronger mental control.

After what I’ve been through lately, my weights will be my therapy. I will be able to put a lot of force into those reps. It feels so good knowing what to expect, knowing what it takes, and just doing it knowing what the rewards will be.

Today I eased into things, knowing my body is very tight, holds much excess water, and is not as strong as a couple months ago. I did 10 minute warmup, back and shoulders, low weights and reps, did 20 minute cardio, then 20 minutes stretching. My diet was clean - main focus…can’t be perfect the first day (as far as timing and such). Everyday will get easier and I can add another baby step.

Time for another Hottie transformation….my way.

Definitely. I am binging. It has not stopped since Oct 10 so what does that make it? 18 days? 18 days and 25 pounds up. Isn’t that depressing? YES! And I run bootcamps, I inspire women AND men on and off BS, I train hard at the gym, I competed on stage!!

Yes I’ve heard this already - "I put my body through a lot of stress and deprived it of many thing during my prep. I will bounce back in no time because I already know what it takes to get there." Well, that’s great words of encouragement and I DO appreciate all of your support.

But how do I get the confidence to be seen again? I have never really been embarassed to walk into a room. At 210 pounds I could steal the eyes of many. But now I want to go to the gym when no one is there and wear my hat really low. i want to stay in for Halloween when I have 4 invites for some sexy costume parties!

I have tried to evaluate why I feel this way. I do know better. Trust me - I DO! I take value of people for what they are on the inside and I expect the same, but when what I do for a living depends on an image, I feel I have failed to represent that now. I ripped my own self off of what I worked 3 1/2 years for. I didn’t go on stage to compete. I set that goal to force myself to get to that size within 2 years instead of a lifetime of rollercoasting.

But i appear to have BUILT the rollercoaster for myself. Don’t hop on this ride. It may never end.

 Studying a binging article right now:

http://www.bodybuilding.com/fun/drryan30.htm

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/post/Video-Five-year-old-Romanian-weighlifter-become?urn=top,198525

I started a camp to reach out to friends and family that want to lose weight, get healthy, or get motivated but don’t know where to start. I was once in that position, and I feel that I am still early in my journey enough to remember where I came from and the challenges I once faced to help others to see that they can make their own transformations or accomplish their goals no matter what they are. It’s once a month held at a different outdoor venue each time with a 100 mile radius. I bring in a certified trainer and a guest speaker to educate the campers and conduct two workouts within a 6 hour camp.

Yesterday was our first camp and it was absolutely wonderful! I couldn’t have asked for a better first group and while a couple struggled more than others, they continued to push through and make strides! I was really proud to see my friends doing something rewarding and realize that they have more power than they think and have higher goals to accomplish. The weather was gorgeous and so was the view! We all woke up with a significant amount of soreness, enough for a wake up call to always keep pushing yourself to the max and make newer levels of resistance or to change things up a bit. I look forward to our next camp just a few weeks away, rain or shine on this highway to hottie

After only 3 hours of sleep the day before and two intense workouts under the hot sun, I’m surprised I still had the energy to go out dancing that night with one of my friends/campers. Here’s me at the diner at 2am grill still shining!

I am realizing it’s time to reflect on where I’ve been and where I am at now. Doing Crossfit this week really beat me up. I have been doing nothing but cardio during that last 4-6 weeks from comp. I felt very out of shape - which I am with this sudden added weight. Even my breathing sounded really bad - asthmatic and I don’t have asthma.

 I have been stressed and while I have started a new diet, I am still having difficulty with snacking. I’m hoping that I can get it contained over the weekend for a more successful next week.

 Gaining all this weight and not gaining control when decided to can make you feel very incompetent. But I was blessed to have created a HUGE SUPPORTING COMMUNITY around me that failure is not an option for me. I will continue to pick myself up and try again: emotionally, mentally, physically. It’s time to show the world that you can always strive to be a better You!

Ok y’all! I never believed it was possible to gain 20 pounds in a week! But I have proved it to myself! Yes, Monday morning I weighed in at 159! It’s a damn shame but I’m hoping that 15 of that is water weight - and it certainly LOOKS like it. You can see progress pics if you like, but the look of excess water retention compared to extra fat content have 2 totally different looks and feels.

I obviously did not put on the weight continuing with the contest diet. I BINGED! i BINGED ON cheesecake, chocolate, chips, burger, fries, etc etc. I did not drink enough water and so my body just held on for dear life with all that I bombarded it with. There were about three days when I was laid up in bed because I felt like I have the flu ten times over….nauseated, headache, bodyaches, diarrhea (YES I’M GETTING BLUNT WITH YOU ALL SO YOU LEARN!)….I went from a diet solely of protein veggies and minimal carbs and zero sugar/preservatives/sugarfree stuff to SKYROCKET FAT/CARB/SUGAR intake…it was like poison to my body.

My trainer said what I SHOULD have done was stuck to the same diet and then day by day slowly introduce good carbs and fats back in. But of course once you start you can’t stop and it can go on for more than a day or a week! It just doesn’t stop cuz your body thinks it will never have it again unless it makes you crave it.

 So I finally had an emotional breakdown about it today. I knew I was going into the gym for Crossfit and I had to face the music of looking pudgy. I got through the Crossfit session and I had just done is a couple weeks ago like a champ. This time it went just as reality says - 20 pounds overweight! I was slow and heavy and not as strong! Needless to say, I keep telling myself that most of this is water and soon enough it will be back off of me. In the meantime I’m dealing with the clothes not fitting, the tightness I feel on my insides and skin, and the fact that I have not yet been able to enjoy the new me.

I’m excited to have a new regimen with Schuh. It is totally different than contest prep and will make me a fat burning machine! I will never go hungry and I will have tons of energy for my workouts - which I’m excited about - the workouts will be off da hook!

Well people…..time to watch me evolve again! Check in on my progress pics weekly

Posted in Training