hvivona’s BodyBlog

Back from vacation refreshed and ready to begin round 2 of P90x.  While I was at the beach I chose to not micro manage anything about my food or workouts.  If I felt like eating it, i did.  I didn’t count calories at all.  If I felt like going for a run, I did. Of course if I felt like doing nothing but laying on the beach some days, I did that too.  It was a great mental break, but I learned a lot by doing it.  I learned that I need structure.  I need to know what I’m going to eat and when and what workout I’m going to do and when.  The first few days the carefree attitude was fun and new, but after a few days I felt lethargic and crappy about myself. Not to mention bloated and dehydrated.  I don’t know how people can live thier lives doing this all the time.  I barely made it a week. 

My plan going forward:  I’m going to clean up my diet a little, change my macros around a bit and see if I can get better fatloss results this go round.  I’m hoping to drop to around 16%bf beacuse thats where I was a couple of years ago and when I felt the best about how I looked. so thats my goal.  I’m also cutting alcohol during the week and limiting myself to 1 or 2 drinks (vodka & diet coke) on the weekend.  I typically have one or 2 a  night and think that might be hindering my results.  I’m also going to stop "nibbleing" on stuff during the day.  The handfull of pretzles or goldfish here and there are most likely hindering my results as well.  We shall see.  Of course as I’ve said in an earlier post, nothing may change and this may just be where my stubborn body wants to stay.  And that will be ok too.  because at the end of this round I’ll know that I’ve given all I had to make a serious change and that’s all I can do.  I’m not a body builder, figure competitor or model, so I don’t see a need to drive myself into the ground because I want my thighs to be 1/2" smaller and my biceps and back to have a few more cut lines.  I’ll just continue to try and do MY best and what works for MY body. 

I completed my first round of P90x yesterday!  Its been a very fun, yet challanging 3 months.  While I didn’t make a lot of progress as far as weight & bodyfat loss, I made huge strength gains and my overall health has improved.  Here are sme of the results:

resting HR       Day 1:  68    Day 90:   54

max pull-ups   Day1:  1       Day 90:  7.5

max pushups  Day 1: 22    Day 90:    50

wall squat  Day 1: 2min 6sec   Day 90:  4min2sec

bicep curls   Day 1: 20rep 15lbs     Day 90:  25rep 20lbs

In&Outs   Day 1: 60      Day 90: 110

body fat   Day 1:  20%     Day 90:  18%

I’m going on vacation for a week then I’m planning on starting my 2nd round.  I plan to tweak my diet a bit and see if I can shed some more bodyfat.  I’d like to get to about 16%, but we’ll see.  My body is very happy and comfortable right now and is being very stubborn.  But I know I’m doing all I can and if this is where I stay, its where I stay.  I’ll just "do my best and forget the rest" and always remind myself to "Bring It"!

So i’m really struggleing right now.  For the past 2 and a half months I have felt strong, sexy and confident.  Today it seems all of that has disappeared.  I feel manic and fat and obsessive.  I feel like i’m this huge person.  I thought I had moved past all of these feelings of insecurity, but they have once again reared up and I’m not sure how to move forward.  I’m doing all of the right things- working out, eating clean, taking rest days- but in the back of my head I hear "eat less-workout more".  I hate feeling like this and wish I could just see myself for the awesome person that’s here- that everyone else says they see.  I was beginning to see that and it felt good. why is it going away?  this is so difficult! 

I just finished my 2nd recovery week and yesterday I started Phase 3.  It was really cool to see the strength gains from the last time I did the chest and back workout!  I think what made the difference was really taking the week to recover.  My first recovery i added extra cardio because I felt like I should be doing something more.  This time I put my faith in the program and followed recovery to the letter.  It made all the difference.  After a week of that I came back rip roarin and ready to go!  I also noticed that I leaned down some, despite the fact that I was working out less and raised my cals a bit.

 On a personal note- my man is gone!  My husband’s out of town and I’m left with my girls.  I miss him like crazy and its only been 2 days.  he comes home Thursday- feels like an eternity.  My girls are actually behaving and getting along!  Sweet!  Fingers crossed they stay like this for the week.

Wow the wonder of massage!  Yesterday I was totally feeling like crap- not so much physically, but more emotionally.  I felt ugly, chunky, fat- you know, girl stuff. Today,  I was supposed to take a rest day but I decided to do the core synergistics workout because I was still feeling a little ehh today.  After that I headed out to get a massage.  The woman I go to is sooooo super awesome!  She hit all the knots in my shoulders, back and hamstrings and I feel like a new woman.  Not only do I feel relaxed, my confidence is back.  I’m feelin’ pretty darn sexy today.  It just amazes me how just an hour of deep massage can have so many effects on a person- both physically and mentally.  I’ve made a promise to myself that I am going to make every effort to make monthly appointments to keep me relaxed and focused! 

My parents came over for easter dinner today.  I was going on and on about the P90x workout routine and bragging to my dad about how strong I’m getting.  I showed him all of the books and dvds that came with the program and then showed him my pull up bar.  I then reverted back to a little girl with the "hey daddy look what I can do" as I cranked out a few pullups.  He seemed impressed.  I then suggested that he try to do a few.  That’s when I realized how strong my dad is.  At 52 years old my dad started cranking out pullups like nobody’s business., Never broke a sweat.  He did like 8 before he was even a little winded.  Then my mom wanted to check it out.  She’s 51 and blind.  She works out every day and I knew she’d rock it. She did 2 pullups. Holy Crap!  My parents are rock stars!!!

It turned out the recovery week was actually a blessing.  I really struggled last week and was feeling like I should’ve been doing more.  By the end of the week I had this hunger to workout.  I couldn’t wait to hit the weights.  Saturday morning’s workout rocked!  I was so limp when I finished and the soreness the next day was wonderful.  I love that pain!  Today I’m working back and biceps- my favorite parts to work.  This will be the first time doing this P90x workout so I’m really excited to see what it brings.

This is the first time in my life that I’m finding myself looking forward to working out.  I used to view it as something I had to do- a chore more or less.  Now, I love love love it.  I think the change has been due to the change in routine.  I used to kill myself with 60-90min of cardio 6 days a week and only spent 30-40 min 2 times a week using 5-8lbs dumbells.  I love lifting heavy and having reduced cardio.  And more importantly I’m seeing results.

There’s also been a change in how I see myself.  A month and  a half ago you would’ve seen me obsessing about my body.  Standing in front of the mirror picking out all of the flaws, all of the things I wanted to fix and crying because I felt like I was doing everything I could and nothing was changing.  It was rediculous how obsessed I was.  Now with this change in program I feel strong and sexy.  I’m not overly critical and for the first time in my life I’m looking in that mirror and picking out all of the things I love and noticing all the muscle definition. 

I feel refreshed. Like a new woman!

I did all of my measurements today.  Most of my measurements are the same with the exception of my biceps.  They are 1/4" bigger.  I did drop 1.5% body fat so thats a plus.  I’m really glad I took the before pictures, because while the measurements haven’t really changed, there are differences that I can see.  Today I started Phase 2 of the program and the workout was Chest, Shoulders & Triceps with Ab Ripper X added on to the end.  This workout was so hard.  My shoulders and tris were ON FIRE!  I’ve looked at many progress pics of other P90xers and noticed huge changes after the 2nd phase.  After doing one of the workouts, I see how those changes can to be. This is booty kicking stuff.  You really have to bring it with this!  GAME ON!!!!  I’m all in and can’t wait to see what I look like on day 60. YE-AH!

So I’m in my 4th week of P90x. The first official recovery week- and its killin me.  I feel like I should be doing so much more.  This week consists of yoga, stretchx & a little cardio.  I’m a doer- I have to be doing something- not stretching.  This is hard for me.  I’m really trying to trust the program- I’m seeing results, but worried that a "recovery week" is gonna set me back.  I can’t wait to start lifting again on Saturday.

I’m in my 3rd week of P90X and I keep expecting it to get easier. Guess what…its sooooo not easier.  I don’t know why I expect it to because with every workout I push myself to do more reps or use more weight than I did the last time.  But, oh my goodness everything hurts all the time.  About the time my shoulders stop hurting, its time do the workout again.  My abs are the only body part that only hurts for a day.  My shoulders, back, lats, biceps, ass– ok every part hurts.  I’m drinking recovery drinks, stretching like crazy, chugging water even using tiger balm at times - and it still hurts.  Its a good hurt, but still.  Ok enough of being a sissy baby.  I just needed to whine a bit.