I'm not really one to write about my thoughts in this venue so much.  I've just had some great experiences at the gym with my body recently and felt the need to write down some thoughts.

I go to the gym three days a week, if I don't, I feel it (in a bad way).  Tuesdays and Thursdays used to be in the morning, but I found I was getting a little sick and light-headed.  My workouts were much less effective so I decided I needed to switch to a different time.  Making this one change in my routine reawakened my vision about how much I love to work out.

There was a time in my life when I saw the gym as a chore.  I have to go to the gym to look good, were my thoughts, if I'm not going to the gym I'm gonna stay a twig the rest of my life.  Now this worked for a while, but not for long.  I had to drag myself to the gym sometimes and I began to resent it.  At the same time, I've suffered with some serious body image issues for more than half of my life (still do sometimes).  At the same time, I wasn't really seeing results because I wasn't really trying.  I wanted to change my body, so I went to the gym, but I hated the gym, so I resented it, saw no changes and resented body, but I wanted to change my body . . . You see where this is going.

Things got better when my friend started going to the gym with me.  It helped me stay focused, get some good time in, and not hate it so much.  But time goes by, we both graduated and he went out of state for grad school and I went on a huge summer trip to Europe.  After months of no sort of routine in exercise or diet I found myself missing it a lot.  I could feel my body becoming more and more soft and lethargic.  I didn't feel as energetic or positive.  By the time I came back to the States I was dying to get back in the gym.

And all of a sudden, things change dramatically.  As I went to the gym (by myself) I starting finding reasons to do each workout and go three times a week without fail.  I started to really enjoy working out for the sake of working out.  I found myself really enjoying pushing my body into new territory I've never been before.  It was scary at first (new territory always is) but I found that I could do more that I ever have before and really love it.  This enjoyment starting coming from inside rather than outside.  Funny enough, this is also the time that I've started seeing the best results, a huge perk.

Now, I'm counting down the time before I can go the gym again.  I love working out and I love my body.  Now, in reality, it's not all as rosy as I'm making it out to be.  Things are still hard and sometimes I'd rather stay home or I'm feeling really down about my body image.  However, it doesn't take very long before those feelings are gone and I'm back to positivity.  What 'causes this change?  For me, it's many things, most importantly it's God my Father and His love for me.

This is more than I thought I would share, and yet I'm glad that I did and who knows, it might help you.  Whatev.  I'm still growing in so many ways.  I still have goals I want to meet, but the important thing is: I'm having fun and really starting to love my body.

To close, I saw another person online posting this picture of Socrates about to partake of a drink spiked with hemlock as part of his death sentence.  Next to it is a quote that he supposedly said about everyone realizing the potential of their body.  Whether he said it or not, I still like it.  It says a great deal to me and has become a source of inspiration.