hurdlegirl’s BodyBlog

Well, I’ve got some sponsorship opportunities in the works and if that actually manifests into real support, I will be competing on stage in May or June. I’m more than willing to train cuz I’m already doing that…, the issue is finances and DIETING, I needed an extra boost, something to motivate me to stick to a strict diet. Knowing that someone else is financially involved is just what I need. It’s also a great bonus to go into the summer swimsuit season looking lean & fit.

So, while I’m waiting for logistics to work out, I’ve already upped my cardio time and I’m slowly breaking some of the bad dietary habbits I’ve allowed myself to slip into since my final competition last summer. 

Well, so much for my gladiator dream. I stood outside in NYC for 7hrs and never got inside to tryout. I’m not angry, just disappointed. I should have known that people would sleep/camp out in line several hours before the doors opened. At least when I stood in line for the Price is Right, I was in LA, and I actually got to sit through a live taping. I didnt expect to be chosen to be a contender, I just wanted to show my stuff.

Oh well.

Well, I’ll find out this Saturday if I still have any speed & quickness left from my track & field days. Although I am nowhere near my career 1Rep Max’ in anything, I’m pretty confidient about my strength & power going into these Am Gladiator tryouts this weekend. Even if I was chosen I’m not sure that I’d get the time off to do it, but the competitor in me wants to at least try. So try I will. I just wanna have some fun and see where my athletic & fitness skills test out at.

Otherwise, all else is going fairly well. I’m going about things one day at a time. I still feel a bit "lost", but it’s a challenge to see where my life will take me next. I’m content with my career path at the moment, I just never imagined I’d be "back to square one" in every other area of my life. Oh well, there are much worse situations in life to be in.

Well, my weight is down (mostly to a lack of appetite) but its coming back and my workouts are becoming more consistent. I also have a temporary motivator…American Gladiator tryouts. Several of my friends and coworkers have convinced me that I need to tryout for the show, and since there are open casting calls next month, I’ve decided, why not? So, i’ve stepped up my training to include a lot more upperbody lifts etc.

As for my emotional healing, I feel like I’ve just been cleared to begin rehab from an injury. Its like I know I’m going to survive, but I’m still fragile so I’m taking tiny steps towards feeling secure & happy again. But as they say, time heals all things, and time is exactly what has helped.

Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, life grabs you by the neck and throws you to the ground. Never thought I’d be single again, but now here I am. Wow, this sucks. Well, the one good thing about being dumped over the holidays is that I had no appetite, so instead of gaining a few holiday pounds, I lost about 5. I’m planning on training and dieting as if i’m going to compete, but as of now I dont intend to. I just dont have the finances to put towards competing (supplements, suits, fees, memberships, travel), and apparently I’m no good at fundraising or soliciting sponsors.

Anyhow, as sad as I am to be single again, its a new year and life could always be worse. TIme to be selfish and work on me.

Workouts are continuing to go well. I’m writing everything down both with my workouts and with my diet. I feel more in control over things, but this week has been an emotional drain. The tolls of a long distance relationing are weighing on me. If things fall into place (job opportuity, finances etc), I’ll be moving across the country to Houston. We’ll see, but for now…my mind, my emotions, are just flying all over the place. Working out is whats keeping me sane and in the midst of a workout is when my thoughts are the clearest.

Consistency is a great thing. I’ve been feeling better and my mood is better with the end of the semester approaching, which means I’ll be able to sleep more and workout when I want instead of when I can squeeze it in.

I’m also finding it slightly easier to eat cleaner…not great, but better. It’s easier & cheaper when I eat clean, and with so much holiday shopping to do, I have more incentive to say money.

My weight is still higher than ever, but it has come down about 3lbs in the last 2 weeks. Slow, but steady progress is all i need to keep my confidence up.

Thanks to the Workout Tracker, I’ve been doing a better job of charting my workouts. It feels great to have soreness again and to wake up in the morning feeling like I’ve been in a fight. My weight is still stuck at the same place, but I know my body well enough and it takes about 3 weeks of consistency for it to "let go" of any weight.

The eating habits overall have gotten better. That however is in part due to my job. I’m so exhausted when I get home that I’m not awake long enough to "cheat". And at work, many of my coworkers are health conscious so I’m not really tempted by any poor eating habits of those around me.

I’m still not 100% certain I want to compete again. Well, scratch that….I’m not 100% certain that I want to put in all the work necessary to be stage ready again. I’m almost there (mentally), but I still have some attitude adjustments to make. Regardless of whether I decide to compete again, I need to lose 8lbs. So, thats my first chore…to get back to my "normal weight" after that, I’ll make the decision whether or not to train & prepare for another figure competition. I’m aiming for a show in April. It will take me until December to lose these 8lbs correctly, then in mid January I will begin my quest for a figure title.

I have never won my class or a competition, so that will be my goal for next year (if i compete). Until then, I’ve got to find the discipline within myself to both eat & train mindfully. So, my task for this week is to start writing everything down again. I currently dont write down or plan what i eat or what I do for workouts. We’ll see what I accomplish over the next 7 days. 

Well, I’m pretty much back to the shape I was in about 9 months ago. I hate the way things feel when you first start a "new lifestyle & training program". I like the soreness from added intensity in my weight training, but its a little difficult to adjust to the dietary changes. The good thing is that I’m no longer craving pizza, chocolate, ice cream etc. I’m actually craving things like broccolli, salad, berries etc. I just have to get out of the habit of grabbing something fast and start planning my meals better.

I need to establish a new set of goals for myself. Simple weight loss doesnt seem to be enough of a motivation for me. Dont get me wrong…these extra pounds (6) have GOT to go, but since I’m not training for a competion I need a bit more of a boost to help me stick with diet. Although, my skin has not looked this horrible in a long time

I think this blog is a good start to getting me back on track.