Axemistress’s BodyBlog

When you’re up all night with a restless baby!!

10.  Life, Love & the Universe.

Life - it is, Jim, but not as we know it.  At this hour, I’m not even sure it’s human.  Love - well, chocolate is pretty good.  Does that count?  The Universe - it’s big and dark, like 4am.  Moving on.

9.  Mother Nature is a Biatch.

You would think that pregnancy, childbirth, sleeplessness are all things that you would remember, but no, something makes you forget until you’re back there again.  In some places sleep deprivation is considered a very effective form of torture.  So is being forced to listen to the theme song from Sesame Street repeatedly.  Nuff said.

8.  Sex.

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha.  BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!  As if.

7.  Food.

At this point in time, calories don’t matter.  You’re already being deprived and tortured, a good hot chocolate is going to go down a treat, even better if you shove a marshmallow or 3 into it.  Silky warm chocolate, like a nice cosy bed, with fluffy marshmallow pillows….dangit.

6.  What dream would you like to be having if you were asleep.

Well sleep isn’t happening anytime soon, so if you think it’s nearby then you’re already dreaming.

5.  When you might next be able to nap.

Weighing up the risks of napping during the day.  Will the 3yo watch all of Spiderwick happily or will he empty out two whole bottles of baby oil on the loungeroom floor.  Again.  Now that’s a tough one.

4.  Hubby Gets a Vasectomy.

Yes!  YES!!  YESSSSSSSS!!!!!  Oh that was much better than no.8.

3.  Online Shopping.

Ebay is open 24/7.  Half-price Louboutins??? I’m already there!!

2.  Hiring a Nanny.

Then I’d have to give up the Louboutins.  Extra sleep vs. hot hot shoes.  Tough call.

And the number one thing to ponder when up all night with a restless baby:

REVENGE!!

(You must take notes for this to be effective.  See no.9)

Ever wondered why parents are so dang embarrassing?  Yup, revenge.  Like your mother picking you up from school wearing skimpy clothes better suited to someone 20lbs smaller, and hearing someone say ‘your grandma dresses funny’.  Not that it happened to me, but I distinctly remember it being the defining trauma of a fellow student in high school.  And those darn nudie bath pics of you as a baby that just happen to surface at your 21st in spite of the care you thought you took in hunting them down and burning them during your childhood years after you discovered their existence.  Of course, the ultimate revenge is living to be old and infirm.  Even if the kids you so selflessly sat up with at 4am night after night are callous enough to shove you ungratefully into a nursing home, you can at least call them every day and tell them in depth about your every bodily function - especially the ones best not talked about - blaming dementia as the reason why you repeatedly ask for the correct spelling of ‘haemorrhoids’.  Sweeeeeeet! 

So the baby is finally here.  She arrived 9 days late (dangit) on August 5, weighing a healthy 8lb5oz.  All went well and now I can actually begin to feel human again.  Of course, running on reduced sleep isn’t so fantastic but at least I’m no longer imitating the shape of something that begins to effect tidal patterns anymore.  The best part is that in 2 more weeks I can start training again.  Walking is great for now, but getting back to the gym will be so much better.  I have my new workout all ready to go and can’t wait to get into it.  Yay!

Ok so it’s finally cold, thank goodness for that.  At least huge ankles is now one thing less to deal with.

Boredom, now that is the new enemy.  Can’t go to the gym since my groin muscles packed it in, so not even that to make me feel like I was at least doing something.  On the upside, everything seems to be going as it should.

Taking the kids to their first karate class tonight, should be interesting, although it beats me why I should pay someone to kick their butts when I could do it for them at home for free.

Shall now go and try not to boredom eat.  Man is that a trap or what.

Summer just will not roll over and play dead here right now.  Just when you think Autumn has taken the sting out of the sun, a heat wave shows up and makes you wish you hadn’t procrastinated with that air conditioning installation after all.

20 weeks into pregnancy now, everything good.  I even have a new preggy workout my trainer has made for me at the gym and it almost feels like a REAL workout again YAY!  Obviously it’s a lot more restricted, but it sure does feel good to be doing something.

Oh, and we’ve been told we’re most likely having a girl this time, but we were told that last time too, and ended up with a 10lb 2oz boy.  I think I’ll wait and see before I redecorate everything pink!  

It’s been ages since I’ve been motivated to blog.  And guess what, I’m still not motivated but here I am anyway.

Sad but true, I’ve been feeling sorry for myself.  Physically speaking, it’s not a good time to be looking in the mirror as the pregnancy is still at the stage where it’s just making my fat stick out.  Not enough baby to make a decent belly, just bigger fat rolls.  Not that I don’t appreciate that the baby and I are both healthy, I am certainly grateful for that.  I just remember previously seeing my belly shrinking and how encouraging that was, and now all of that is reversing.  As quickly as the pregnancy is going along it seems like I’m physically backsliding.  The minimal amount of exercise I can do right now isn’t nearly so satisfying as it is simply a minor attempt in maintaining perhaps a little of my previous work, but those rock-hard abs are just a little further down the road now that they had been!  Add to that the quite real chance that I may have to have a c-section if the baby’s anywhere near the size of the last one, and that puts your post-baby recovery back two months.

Ok so I’m whining.  I really am happy to be pregnant (even happier that this is the last one!!) and am looking forward to getting past the baby-having stage so that I can work my butt off (literally) and be happy with what I see in the mirror for a change!

Why is it that you never can be bothered doing something until you’re not allowed to??

Ok, so to explain, I’ll readily admit that I was a gym slacker whose workouts weren’t exactly frequent and of high standard.  Now that I’m pregnant and my physical activity to date has been limited to short walks, I find that I’m dying to get going and do a smashing great workout reminiscent of, well, something that someone else more motivated might do.  And at only 10 weeks along, there’s a lot more to go before I can even think about doing what I used to, er, dream of.  Sure my gym girls are set to write me up a suitable program for pregnancy when I finally stop feeling nauseated and about as energized as a coma victim having woken after 10 years, but at this point in time, even that seems distant.

However, I look at my youngest child who is rapidly heading for his third birthday and I remember that it only took him five minutes to get to 2 years old.  So another two weeks (I always feel better at 12 weeks) shouldn’t be so bad, and if I can just keep telling myself that I should be fine!!

Should be.  Can’t promise anything

So far so good, not as sick as I have been in previous pregnancies.  I’ve discovered that in the evening when I tend to feel the most nauseated that a small, easy walk seems to help a great deal.  Hopefully this means that a bit of my previous level of fitness will still be there under the baby belly.

With any sort of luck things will continue to go well, and we’ll be sure soon that it’s not twins!  That really would be just my luck….

Right now I’m on the edge of my chair.  Not from excitement, it’s just that my cats have decided to take up the other 99%.

Pole dancing.  Now that is a big bundle of fun, let me tell you.  If you haven’t tried it then get out there and do it, and believe me, it sure is harder than it looks.  Apart from the booty-shakin thang (much fun, especially with a group of semi-inebriated women) it takes a lot of upper body strength to lift yourself and do a lot of the swinging and moves holding your own bodyweight on the pole.  Technical exercise benefits aside, it is a whole lot of damn good fun and if you get a good laugh out of watching the attempts of others, you get a great ab workout too.

Of course, coming home and demonstrating moves learned at a pole dancing class for very interested hubby resulted in me getting pregnant.  So right now the usual workouts are out the window (yes, I know, there weren’t many in the window to start with) but a bit of walking here and there and some light stuff at the gym is all I’m up for at the moment.  Naturally, I’m waiting for morning sickness to come kick my butt and it might be just as well if it does because I’ve been eating everything that’s not nailed down lately in spite of the fact that I’ve got a taste in my mouth like I’ve been sucking on my car keys.

Changed supplements to a nice preggy one, although even something as simple as swallowing capsules is a challenge at the moment.  For now, I just have to do some baby-baking and cross my fingers that I don’t have nausea over Christmas.  That would sure take the fun out of the over-indulging.

Gym today.  Finished work for the moment and the energy has returned at least for the moment.  Interesting workout today as follows:

Bike warmup 5 mins

Dumbbell curls warmup 6kg x 12

Dumbbell curls 7kg x 12

Dumbbell flys 3kg x 12

Dbell curls 7kg x 12

Dbell flys 3kg x 12

Tricep dips bodyweight 2 x 20

Leg press 80kg 2 x 15

Smith Machine bench press 20kg 2 x 12

Lat pulldown (seated) 50kg 2 x 12

Pec Deck 40kg 2 x 12

Lat pulldown (standing) 50kg 1 x 12

Tricep pulldown 12kg 2 x 12

Abs/stretches/cooldown on mat.

I read in my M&F Hers that eating cereal with milk after a workout is good.  So I ate a bowl of oaten muesli post-workout and a cup of tea.  Then crawled home.  I ache.  Tomorrow I shall ache more. 

Still working.  A minor gym workout on Sunday did little to ward off the encroaching flab.  With any luck when I finish work in a week or so I’ll be able to return to something vaguely resembling form.

I’ll miss the gossip, though.

The only thing worse than a two year old stealing your green tea is said two year old spilling said green tea on new cordless keyboard and mouse purchased the day before.

A lesson I never seem to learn is not to shave sensitive areas prior to a spontaneous trip to the swimming pool.  Go hairy, or buy boyleg swimsuit.  Shaving rash is not fun.  Scratching at shaving rash is socially undesirable.