TLC: Trust, Love, Consistency

It’s been 10 days since I last set foot in the gym. There’s nothing I’d like to do more than a good hard weights session, but it’s not an option.
I’ve still got the dregs of my cold/flu and my energy levels are almost non-existent. A visit to the chiro yesterday left me feeling a fair bit better this morning but by lunchtime I knew I couldn’t train again today.
I’m taking each day as it comes. If I’ve got the energy I take Kevin for a walk before work, but even this wipes me out. I’ve been keeping my food clean, lean and green and my weight has stayed consistent even after my 10% meals.

All this inactivity and inability to achieve new goals is leaving me in quite a dark headspace and I’m worried that I’m sleeping too much and am actually making my energy levels worse.

I noticed I’d totally dropped off my water intake so I’m trying to get that back up above 4L again. In addition, there’s lots of glutamine and fish oils with every meal and I’ve got some fancy herbal medicine from the chiro which I’m hoping will help.

I’m open to any suggestions from people as how to get out of this hole. All I want to do is get back in the gym and get on with my life!

Australian Muscle have just posted a huge review of both the South Australian INBA shows. You can see them here. You’ll see me in the Whyalla section, after we’d all eaten a few to many jelly babies! All the photos are stunning, nice work Sean!

In other news, I haven’t been in the gym since Tuesday. I’m still searching for my energy. Today was the first day I’ve considered training, which means I need at least 2 more days off! I’ve also been feeling a bit of a sore throat coming on so I’m super-dosing on L-Glutamine. Let’s hope airplane air doesn’t totally kill me.

Tomorrow we head off to Melbourne for 5 days. I’d originally planned for it to be a no holds barred indulgent week. However, my body has not been dealing well with even the smallest indulgences, so I’ve spent the day pre-cooking my meals. A task not made easy, due to our stove and oven electrics being broken. It’s all camp stove and BBQ.

I’ve made a delicious frittata for breakfasts (even though the hotel does complementary breaky). I’ve got 5 days worth of pruffins (choc-walnuts & blueberry and vanilla-lemon & blueberry- these are indulgent!), some PN nut bars in the freezer, and will later be bbq-ing a whole batch of chicken breasts. When I get to Melbourne I’m going to be picking up lots of salad mix, snow peas and cucumber, and a few cans of tuna. I’ll let myself have one free meal a day. It’ll be a huge change from past visits to Melbourne which have been all out food feasts.

While in Mebourne, I’m really looking forward to seeing my sister and seeing what progress she’s made since she was here for my comp. I set her up with a weights program and gave her all my PN stuff to read and a basic diet outline. She saw my physique for the comp and decided she wanted one too! I’d love to see her on stage eventually, as she has a background in dance, a degree in Performing Arts and stunning stage presence.

I’m going to take all my workout gear and get in at least a few weights sessions (hooray for my FF gold passport) while I’m away as well as getting back into a bit more cardio. Dog walks have been very lax.

If you’re in Melbourne and want to catch up while I’m there, chuck me (Michelle Koen) an email (firstname.lastname@gmail.com).

I drove all the way to Whyalla and all I got was this trophy

Actually I got 2 trophies. First place figure novice, 2nd place Ms Whyalla.
It was a bit of a talladega nights situation (if you aint first, you’re last). Also got 2 tubs of Vital Strength define/slim whey in choc and strawberry (ick, never likes strawberry), if they’re no good I’ll make bars and ‘cheese-cake’ out of them.

Sadly this might be the extent of the photos I’ve got as our camera decided to ‘chew’ the card. My Dad’s doing his best to recover the files for us.

This week I was much happier with how full I came in and managed to get a decent pump before going on stage. I was still a bit rushed when I got out on stage and the poses were called very quickly which left me a bit shakey. I tried my best to remember everything Terri taught me. I felt a little like I’d jipped myself when I can off stage and decided that I absolutely HAD TO get my routine right. I totally messed my routine up last weekend but this week I was raring to go and get some serious posing done. I slowed down and focused and my timing was perfect. I almost jumped up and down on stage I was so happy.

By the time the overall Miss Whyalla was to be judged I’d totally forgotten that I’d have to pose again and frantically re-pump. All was good and I posed much better than in the novice round, but still had wobbles (no wobbles last week-grr). I was up against Helen, who did novice last week but entered intermediate this week. It was a very tight result apparently, but I came second. Uno later told me I wasn’t quite lean enough in my lower body.I thought this was the case but had hoped my muscularity would win out.

This is Helen last week doing her routine. She is such a friendly and enthusiastic person. I hope to see her again next season.

Well done, girl!

All this means I achieved my goal of qualifying for the Australian Titles in the Gold Coast next weekend. However, I’ve looked at flights and done the maths and it’s going to cost about $1000 all up. Plus, I’ve already asked so much from my new bosses and I’d need Friday off to make registration in time so unless they are really, really encouraging tomorrow, I don’t think I’ll be going. With this decision in mind I’ve started rolling out my clean eating for massive muscle plan. This week I’m increasing my fish oil intake to 2g with each meal and allowing back in a wider range of vegies and protein source, most exciting for me is the return of chickpeas to my big salad. So tasty.

Eats yesterday were the usual crappy contest day food of jelly snakes and chocolate (wow- lindt dark with coffee flavour is the best in the world!). I had my obligitory post contest pizza (aimed for 2 slices, stopped at 4). This time it was from the Trat pizza bar and had ricotta, italian sausage and artichoke and was possibly the greasiest thing I’ve eaten in months. This morning we went down the beach with Kevin and I did my best to keep it PN at breaky with scrambled eggs, mushies, spinach tomato, bacon and pesto- no toast). The no toast thing wasn’t so strict as I always steal a bit of S’s turkish bread. Drank bucket loads of water and had my fish oil. The meal was way too much and quite late so I skipped meal 2 (not cool PN I know). For lunch I had some chicken left over and made my usual ‘big salad’ with bonus treats of sundried and regular tomatoes and chick peas and drizzled on some tasty local olive oil but may have over done it  a bit. We also did some food shopping. I resisted the fresh ricotta, mangos and bananas but S snuck in some chocolate and ice-cream which I’ll now have to ignore. I caved at the frozen blueberries, but even Scivation’s cut diet allows them! I still bought my kilo of spinach and kilo of broc and tonight it’s a nice juicy rump steak on the webber with corn on the cob and salad. I’ve got more cooked chicken to chow on in between. I’m thinking a good old-fashioned Sunday leg workout is in order now, might follow it up with a bit of cardio, just in case.

I’m all depleted and starting to load. Mmmm the warm fuzzy feeling of carb loading. 2 more sleeps and I’m on stage in Whyalla. Looking at the results from last year, it could be a walk in the park, there was only 1 female competitor last time. I know at least one girl from the SA titles will be there this year. I’d rather a decent competition, but want to get to the nationals just for the experience and to meet the other girls and JD (in person).

My official placing for last weekend was 6th, but then everyone else got 6th too. I was initially very dissapointed with the result but I had such a good time and unleashed the show-pony inside of me that I couldn’t be upset for too long. It was too much fun. I think it’s so awesome that Kim, the promoter, gave little trophies to everyone who competed. I feel so proud everytime I pass mine.

In the last week I’ve concentrated on my posing and trying to get a little leaner (cardio, cardio, cardio). I’m very excited that tonight I’ve finally got a session with Terry Roberts to go over my posing. We’ve been eyeballing each other not sure who each other was all week in the gym so it made for a funny phone call today when she returned my enquiry. She also said that I was looking much better in the gym yesterday than I was on stage (grr), so hopefully, between her and JD’s worrying I can come in a lot better on Saturday.

I am getting more and more excited about off-season training and eating. I don’t mean eating crap. I mean getting some good food in, to get some good size on. I’m still figuring out the best way to set measurable goals for my off-season plan to build massive shoulders (with glutes to match). I’ll be discussing my goals with JD as soon as all this comp malarky is over. I feel so feircely determined to build a better body, must be my stubborn streak.

In the meantime here are my quads (tara inspired):

What a line up!

Pre-judging’s over and I’m ignoring the boss and getting pizza before the night show.
I woke up really really flat. I was massive when I went to bed. Made my sister poke my quads 4 times, at least. I had my rice and bananana and added a small amount of honey on instinct. Did my hair and make-up (what a team!) and rang JD for instructions. It’s so hard to describe over the phone what I saw and be sure I was getting it right. He prescribe a very mild course of sugar and warned me to not have too much.

We weren’t allowed backstage until after the first class had competed which gave us NO time to tan and pump. Thankfully one of the other competitors BF’s offered to help and I had complete strangers slapping dream tan on my bum. Mad props to Suzie Q, who made my suit, who made sure I was glued and tied in perfectly. Couldn’t find Mareike anywhere to get instructions on pumping up until the last minute. She walked in the room and the first thing she said was “OMG you’re flat!”. Yikes! Thank lordy for the free gummy snakes. I was doing pushups one handed while eating snakes with the other. I’ve never done a one handed push-up before!

Before I knew it, we were called. The whole line came out and I was center stage, feeling radiant and calm, praying to the figure gods I got my sugar in time. Then they split the line in half. I wound up on the end in the back for what seemed like an eternity. I held my relaxed pose strong. Flexing my awesome quads all the way. Nailed my worst pose (rear db bicep) but didn’t get a call-up. By this time all the girls who where in the back were giggling and whispering amongst themselves. Thanks Josh (black bikini), I had a blast. It all felt so easy to smile and feel amazing, I felt amazing.

I got off stage and straight off with the heels and out of there. I felt confused, angry, amazed, excited all rolled into one. All I could say to anyone was, ‘what a weird sport’. We hit up Cibo for coffee and the boy suggested a cake to me. I’d had mountains of sugar by this point and didn’t really feel like anything too big so I shared a mini chocolate tart with makeup-S. Sure enough within 15 minutes I finally felt the sugar kick in and my body tighten up. Doh! Dad had great photos and we all decided the judges were insane and that I looked awesome.

So it’s onto the night show. I’m not sure how much more sugar I can handle. JD wants me to have chicken and greens and S-potato. I decided to ignore better judgment and eat the chicken and wait for my Dad to bring me the best pizza in Adelaide. I’m feeling pretty full and will only have one or 2 slices, I’m so over this fat-fobia.

Over-all I’m a bit disapointed but I can’t wait for next weekend when I get another chance to get it right and next year when I can be even bigger and leaner.

I can’t wait to shake this joint
No, I can’t wait to fully illustrate my point
I can’t wait to let it flow
No, I can’t wait to bring down the house with my microphone

Brassy-I can’t wait

This was almost my posing song, but I’ve got something just as cool.

My first coat of tan is on and, dare I say it, I look HOT. I can’t stop posing. I can finally get my lats out nice and wide and can’t wait to show JD more photos. I can’t wait to see how good I look on Sunday.

I knocked off my last day of work for the week today and didn’t loose my job or cry, so things are going better than expected. I’m actually feeling a lot less T&E than I thought. I didn’t have a weights session scheduled this evening so I was inspired by Charlotte to throw in some extra cardio. Kev and I had a lovely after work walk. Tomorrow I’ll wake and do a short walk with Kev (for his benefit), eat my 8 egg whites +1 and greens (depletion time), pack the rest of my food and walk the 7km to my hair appointment. I love functional cardio. I’ve also got a massage booked for the afternoon and am meant to train chest (yuck/ouch) but might skive off and do a pilates class as it really loosens up my back nicely. Then, more cardio and I await my instructions on my carb load.

I’ve got a whole lot of my life tied up in Australia post too. I’m waiting for my Sann’s Shredded (Taraxatone replacement) and my foundation to come through tomorrow. At least, unlike some girls competing this weekend, I’ve had my suit and shoes for weeks. I’d be losing it otherwise.

One thing I didn’t expect was how thirsty I am. I voluntarily drank 8L of water yesterday, just because I was thirsty. Today I did about 6L and it was a breeze. Apparently, the thirst is to be expected. My lips and hands are also feeling very dry. Lucas’ Pawpaw for my lips and olive oil for my hands.

Might post some photos tomorrow when I’m fully depleted out of interest.
Goodnight all.

and I need every one of them.

Mentally I’m exhausted. I’m so glad I bit the bullet and got Jon to look after me. I can’t imagine the mess I’d be in otherwise. Doing my pwo cardio I’ve been wiped but then I suddenly realise, I really am following my dreams and succeeding and all of a sudden I get a new wave of energy.

My workout’s are feeling a bit half assed. I’m telling myself it’s all mental focus, because if I really work on the visualisation I can still match my PBs. My shoulder is really starting to hurt again too. I can’t wait for contest prep to be over so I can get back on a program that works better for it. Right now I’m following Nick’s instructions and not arguing with the big boss about anything.

Today I went and handed in my music and completed my registration. If you’re looking for me, I’m competitor #1, which has to be a good omen. Sean, one of the organisers, still has me pegged for a top 3 finish which has bouyed my spirits after I got my first rush of nerves at registration.

My organisation seems to have back fired on me, as the diuretics JD wants me to get haven’t been available in Australia for 9 months according to the boys in Aussie Muscle. I found them on ASN and have ordered them and bought backup ones for 1/4 of the price incase they don’t come through. I went to the stage shop to get my foundation and they have to order it in, but promise it by Friday (!). I got them to write down the color and I will ring the other dance shops on Monday morning and see whether I can get some before then, otherwise it’s Revlon color stay mixed in my dream tan.

I’m only working 3 days this week, which I’m entirely thankful for. I was starting to get a bit snappy at work on Friday, which isn’t a good thing for a new job. I’m really worried how I’m going to be in the 2 weeks between comps. I’m actually starting to feel quite crazy for entering the Whyalla titles, but it’ll be good stage time if nothing else. I really wish I could get the Friday beforehand off work, but I’ve already asked the boss for too much time off.

So I’m taking each day at a time, meal by meal, workout by workout. When I feel down I find a mirror and look at my (sunburnt) quads and feel a bit better.

Tonight I’m off to a posing workshop run at City Gym. I’ll get to meet some of my fellow competitors (did I mention there are 12 people in my line-up!?). I wish I could feel a bit more excited about the workshop but I really need a night on the couch.

I actually sound a lot less happy than I am. Sorry it’s just easier to complain. This is all an amazing process and I’m so lucky  to have family who support me.

*end ramble*

Here’s a sneak preview of my ‘kini. I love it.
I’ve been bejewelling the front all weekend and am almost ready to start on the back.

12 days to go and I’m feeling GREAT.

P.S congrats to everyone who competed in the WNBF show on the weekend you all looked amazing and it was a great show. Vivienne Kristic’s routine and posing was particularly inspiring.

I was honestly expecting to feel like death heated up by now, but I feel great. Better than I did a week ago even. I have to give credit to JD. I’m sure I piss him of with my "can I have this? why not that?" questions, but he’s got me feeling great and looking awesome.

It’s strange, the diet is pretty much lean and green but I don’t feel at all carb depleted. I’ve been on similar macros before and felt like a zombie so it must all be in the timing. My diet is very conservative body-builder stereotype (though this really isn’t JD’s style from what I understand) as I needed urgent ass-kicking. Breaky is egg-whites+egg and greens with 1/3 cup oats if post cardio, 3 of my meals are 120g roo/fish and buckets of green and lunch is always a chicken, almond and avocado monster salad. The secret weapon, I suspect, is the 20g pure-carbs in my training drink. On non-weight days I really miss it and feel flat. If I’d been in charge I would have ditched this weeks ago, shows what I know.

A lot of people complain that lean and green is boring. I’m doing pretty well. It’s really not that different from how I’ve eaten for a few years anyway, just less fat and forbidden sauces and condiments. I’ve been buying lots of different kinds of fish to add variety and love my roo and zucchini meatloaves.The one thing I miss is my weekly restaurant meal which has been strictly off the books for the last 5 weeks. I jokingly asked JD if there was a curry in this week’s diet plan and he handed me a freebie! Tomorrow lunch I have a date with a thai curry, a whole mess of rice and maybe some quail to be eaten beachside at my favourite Thai restaurant. I swear I almost cried with excitement. Along with being told fruit is no longer forbidden I was a happy girl this week. I thought things were meant to be dissapearing from my diet not re-appearing. AWESOME!

To be honest, I’m a little worried about my ‘free’ meal. My weight’s been hitting all time lows this week and dropping daily and I’m going to be a little thrown by the inevitable spike. However, after 4 weeks of no movement on the scales I have a reasonable disregard for them. I know how to get the lighting just right in my house to make me look great in the mirror (it’s my tan substitute).

I spent the day gluing diamantes to my bikini. I’ve done an impressive job on the bottoms but haven’t quite got the boobs even (story of my life). From where the judges/audience sit it shouldn’t be to noticeable.

I went on a huge shopping spree, Friday after work, and bought my nails, toe-nail polish, eye-lashes, jewelry and a feather combo for my hair (thanks stage shop lady). Teeing up a time with my makeup girl is proving dissastorous so I may just end up doing my own. C’est la vie. I also bought my only pair of ‘comp-prep’ pants, a pair of skin-tight black jeans. They were only $50, reduced for $140 and I figured I needed something to remember me by as I have no plans of staying quite this skinny for any longer than I have to.

It’s getting late and I have a early morning chest workout, visit to the farmers market and a date with a thai curry tomorrow so it’s beauty sleep time. Good luck to the ladies doing the WNBF this weekend.

Wow, this week has flown by. I’m feeling a lot better since my last post. My joints are much happier and I’ve had some excellent workouts and delightful morning walks. It was so delicously warm this morning, just a little overcast, a great day for walking in the national park. Sunday was my rest day so I added in some extra fats to replace the carbs I wasn’t eating (didn’t tell the boss any of this) and it seems to have helped my joints and also triggered a nice bit of weightloss (FINALLY). Who knows, I might actually break the 60kg mark after all.

I got my suit last night, with both pairs of bottoms. The cut of the second pair is much more flattering in the front, the bum is still tiny but I think I’ll wear it. The embarrassing thing is, I couldn’t figure out how to tie the top onto the bottoms. I thought there were meant to be loops in my bottoms but couldn’t see any. I looked a lot better in good light and felt a lot happier with how I’m looking. JD told me this would be the case, and that I’d look silly in it without my heels and a good tan. Now I’ve got to pick up some sparkly bits to start decorating my suit.

I think I’ve finally managed to please JD. He actually said I was looking good and just needed a tan! I was grinning from ear to ear. I’m not going to do the WNBF show this weekend, but am still thinking about going to Whyalla for the second INBA show. It’ll be good practice. I just don’t know how long it takes to get up there and back.

I need to start a things to do list.

• Buy sparkly bits for costume
• Sew sparkly bits for costume (my mum used to do this for my sisters ballet, maybe I can con her)
• Book waxing (Legs & bikini, eyebrows)
• Buy nails
• Meet with S, my makeup girl
• Buy foundation, lippy, nail polish & other makeup bits
• Practice routine, lots
• Burn CD of music for comp
• Panic