hammiemam’s BodyBlog

Earlier today I got the opportunity to take the physical test for my city’s fire department.  I volunteered to go as soon as I could.  My group had eight people and I was the only girl.  There were only about six girls total of close to 200 that began the process. 

The first part of the process was to climb an 85 foot ladder at a 70 degree angle untimed.  This went off without a hitch.  I looked straight ahead, rarely looking up or down, and rang the bell at the top.  I carefully climbed down and proceeded to my next event.

The next event was a blind crawl.  In addition to all of my firefighter gear, I also wore an SCBA mask that was blacked out.  I was to crawl through a maze and not take my hand off the hose.  At times I felt like one of those robots that walk into a wall, say ouch, turn ninety degrees and walk into another wall.  This event, though awkward went well, also.  Next it was on to my timed event.

The timed even began by grabbing a hose and carrying it about fifty feet passed the checkpoint.  Next I had to pick up two medical packs weighing about thirty pounds seventy five feet to the next stop.  After this I had to pick up a charged line and carry it fifty feet.  I then proceeded to a forced entry simulation where I hit a target with a sledge hammer ten times.  I then walked up four flights of stairs that I thought would never end, with a high rise pack (a fifty-seven pound hose).  I went down one flight of stairs to where I pulled a rock on a rope up to the third floor then put it back down.  I came down the three flights of stairs to my final part of the timed event, the victim rescue.  The victim rescue was, by far, the most difficult of all tasks.  I had to drag a 160 pound dummy backward 75 feet after I did everything else.  Now let me explain the drag a bit.  Several weeks ago, and EMT friend of mine gave me explicit instructions on how to do the "fireman’s drag."  I picked up 220 pound Jared like a feather, I was pretty excited about my abilities, I even practiced on him a little before the test.  Now lets take a look at the differences…  Jared, a real human being has arms that bend, dummy does not.  Jared is small enough in the chest that I can wrap my arms around him without a problem, dummy does not.  Other differences lie in the fact that I was practicing dragging Jared around in a tee shirt and shorts, not firefighter gear.  In the real test I had thick firefighter jacket on, and an SCBA that may have been restrictive.  So  guess to make a long story short, when I tried to pick up the dummy the way I had been told before, I could not, my arms would not wrap around his body.  I ended up using just my hands under just his armpits and walking backward.  MInd you, this is the very last part of the test.  I am tired and I am giving it my all.  I am wanting to give up, but the guy giving me instructions is telling me I only have a little bit further to go.  I again want to give up, but there is a group of six or so firefighters cheering me on.  This was the coolest thing of it all.  Here was this group of people that were routing for me to finish on time.  They were there telling me how great I was doing, cheering me and encouraging me.  Why would I not want to work with such an awesome group of individuals?

So I finished with eight seconds to burn.  Instead of shaking my proctor’s hand, I gave him a hug.  My muscles were so sore and so much like jello that I had to have help getting off my gear.  Once I got inside, the chief had to help me get my pants off! 

I feel pretty proud about what I’ve accomplished today.  There was a point in time I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it.  The more I am around this group, the more I want to work with them.  I want this job more than I’ve wanted much of anything. 

 Thank you again to all of you that have been so supportive over the past few months, weeks and days, you know who you are.  I really appreciate your encouragement.  I will keep you all posted on how the rest of this process goes.

This Sunday I get the opportunity to take the physical test for my city’s fire department.  Last Saturday I did well on my written test, which qualified me for the physical test.  I have so many people that are supporting me right now, from people at BB.com to people in my tangible life.  I have so many people telling me that I can do this, that I can pass the physical test.  But I am human and though I have a great deal of confidence in myself, I still have so many doubts.  What if I am too slow?  WHat if I don’t follow directions?  What if I get freaked out on the ladder and can’t even go on to the agility test?  I have a bazillion what ifs in my head and it scares me.  It scares me to think that if I fail, I have to explain to all of these supporters I have that I didn’t make it.  I will already be disappointed in myself, but then I have to relive it every time I explain to another.  My only alternative is to do fantastically and be able to tell all these people how well I did.  I want this fire department job so bad, the more I think about it, the more I want it.  I am not sure I’ve ever wanted anything more.  And when multiple people tell you it is the greatest job ever, you start to believe it.  When I took my written test I found that there are about two hundred people trying out for maybe twelve positions.  The odds are pretty against me.  I guess I will take it a cliche one step at a time.  I will keep you all posted on what happens on Sunday.  Feel free to send me encouragement or advice. 

Thanks guys, you have all been pretty awesome with your support.

I feel the guilt of judgement right now.  I ran into two situations today that caused me to feel shame for another person. 

I work in my local mall, and every morning I cut through Panera Bread Company in order to get to my store.  Occassionally I will order a salad, and often I get a large cup of Iced tea with sweetner.  Every morning I go in, a large woman sits with another large woman eating her two pastries and iced coffe with whipped cream and chocolate.  She talks for hours with her friend.  This morning I overheard her talking about her struggles, and how she can never find time to exercise.  The other woman agreed with her, and how hard it is to find time in the day to get in physical activity.  I quietly took this in as I poured my tea.  It was still on my mind as I vacuumed my store.  My mind continued to wander off as I counted my drawer while watching mall walkers do a lap around the kiosk in front of my store.  The thought of her dilema eventually dispersed as people came into the store.  However, as soon as my coworker came in, and I again stepped into Panera for my refill, I saw the woman again, over two hours later.  This woman was in Panera at 9:00am when I walked in, and was still there after 11:30.  I am not going to say much about her food choices, that is already stated.  But she sat socializing with her friend for over two and one half hours, just sitting on her rump, complaining about not having time to exercise.  She has a whole mall to walk, yet she was just sitting doing nothing but complaining.  This would not have bothered me so much, with the exception of the fact that she comes in every morning and sits with her friend for several hours.  It seems like such an opportunity to me. 

Later today I headed to my local grociery store.  I filled my cart with lean meat and fresh veggies, natural peanut butter, frozen brocolli, M&F for Her Magazine, and toilet paper (what, that clean food has to go somewhere).  I was proud of my clean cart.  I walked up to the checkout, the family in front of me were loading up the conveyor…  It was easy to see the little boy in the family was incredibly overweight.  The also very very overweight mother and older daughter were putting their food up there.  I saw vegetable oil, hot dogs, mac and cheese, soda, sugary cereal, candy bars, sausage, chicken patties, potato chips, funyuns, and sugary lunch snacks.  There was not a single clean food item in their cart.  Then, as the young son grabbed for another candy bar, his mother yelled (and I mean yelled, she was not quiet at all) "You don’t need any of that bad stuff!"  I was so appalled.  If you as an adult want to jeopardize your healthy longevity, so be it.  But it is so unfair to subject your children to the same poor choices.  Is it ever my place to humbly criticize someone else’s poor decisions and mention a better alternative?