hammiemam’s BodyBlog

My doc cleared me for lifting come monday (I love jimmy buffet!).  Until then he said I could do legs, but I really don’t think he understands that when I do legs I am almost always doing dead lifts and other training that involves my back and shoulders.  So I will be back to running this weekend, but no lifting until Monday, I don’t want to take any chances of hurting myself further.  But come monday (it’ll be alright…) I am starting with a tough leg and ab day and will continue on an easy back and shoulder day on Tuesday.  I want to take things relatively easy, but once I feel I am totally up to it, it is balls to the wall!  I can’t let this accident push me back too far, I have already done enough damage to my own progress, I can’t let something from the outside hold me back. 

I am back to training on monday, and I am back with a fury. 

I had a pretty rough one this weekend.  Friday I headed to the dog park with my new boy Benson.  I looked down at my phone, tried to push Benson toward the back seat and looked up to see a stopped car in front of me.  I hit the car, totalled mine.  I felt okay after the wreck, though I felt like a dumb a$$ for not paying attention like I should.  My arm swelled up immediately.  Benson was fine, and the old couple I hit (yeah, had to be a sweet little old couple) were fine also.  I went to bed that night with a huge feeling of defeat, not having a car, not really knowing what to do.  THe public transportation system isn’t too bad, but I would have to never close because they don’t run to my work after seven.  I couldn’t ride my bike because it was stolen earlier this summer, and I still haven’t replaced it.  Saturday morning I woke up, and could barely move.  I went to the doctor and she said I shouldn’t lift for at least two weeks.  THankfully she didn’t send me home with that stylish little necklace (ie neckbrace).  On a lighter note, my car was pretty bad off anyway, and my stepdad found a really great deal on a barely used car by another little old lady.  I will take possession of it pretty soon.  It is a lot better car than my now destroyed one was. 

I am very thankful no one was seriously hurt, but it is pretty tough to deal with this in addition to dealing with some other pretty big stressors.  I still worked every day this weekend, and finals are this week, so I have been working on school projects also.

I have another appointment with my doctor on friday and hopefully this time I will be cleared to lift again sooner than next friday, but I don’t want to do anything to hurt myself further…  I would almost think tht some lifting would be good for me.

Well, think good thoughts for me guys, I need it!

How can I love something I hate so much!  Pain is my body’s way of telling me it is healing and I worked hard toward a goal.  This I like.  But pain also is not comfortable.  It is causing me to walk as though I was injected with polio.  I worked my legs so hard on Monday, and now my legs are telling me how hard I worked them.  I couldn’t live with knowing I went to the gym and didn’t put in my whole effort, but I could live without my effort causing a slow gait two days later.  I worked so hard on mondays legs, I just wish today I didn’t have to work so hard to walk….

Perhaps someone can explain this to me…  The mercury rises, I become more active, and my appetite declines.  It happens every year.  I am afraid that my metabolism will decrease with the less I eat.  I understand most of the time this can be a good thing, eating less is great, but when my diet is already clean and small meals, I am concerned I won’t eat much at all.  On a day off, spending time outside, I don’t even get the slightest desire to eat.  I could let hours go by with no appetite or pangs of hunger.  I feel like I am forcing myself to eat.  Does anyone have any words of advice or comments?

I had a fantastic leg workout today.  I know my lower body is where I will need to work hardest over the next few months.  My upper body responds amazingly to training, but my lower body is a struggle, though I have a great amount of muscle down there.  I am wondering if I will be able to obtain the right amount of balance, being that my hammies and glutes are so big.  Maybe it is just the way I percieve it, but I feel as though it is important to be extra aware of the areas of work I need.  Well, I am rambling on.  My legs now feel like jello, and my chicken isn’t cooking fast enough.  I am having a crazy ADD day.  I will post more regarding what my schedule will be like soon.

I just got my letter of defeat from my city’s fire department.  I did not have what it takes to become a fire fighter, at least this go around.  I was up against a couple hundred people for only twelve positions.  What I am happy about is that I have what it takes for the next process.  The biggest concern I had was not being able to finish the physical portion in the alotted amount of time.  But I did pass this part of the test, proving to me that I can do it again.  One thing I believe I had stacked against me was my total lack of experience.  I plan to join my volunteer department and also start a fire science program next spring.  Though my not making it this time around is pretty disheartening, it is also becoming a catalyst to make myself much, much more valuable to the department next go around. 

Additionally, I got together with a great group of friends last night, and we discussed the physical goals we each have.  Starting in two Tuesdays, we are begining a journey together to help eachother reach our goals.  We will be a support group for eachother, and also help train together.  One in the group wishes to complete a triathalon, another is a half marathon.  My goal is to compete in a fitness competition (and of course work toward the fire department’s next try-out process).  We plan to start individual blogs on our own website and update with pictures and progress of our training.  I will post more once the website is up and running.  I have also decided in the meantime that I will compete in a figure competition on October 25.  I have a long way to go, but I know I can do it.

Thanks to all of you and your support the last few months!

Earlier today I got the opportunity to take the physical test for my city’s fire department.  I volunteered to go as soon as I could.  My group had eight people and I was the only girl.  There were only about six girls total of close to 200 that began the process. 

The first part of the process was to climb an 85 foot ladder at a 70 degree angle untimed.  This went off without a hitch.  I looked straight ahead, rarely looking up or down, and rang the bell at the top.  I carefully climbed down and proceeded to my next event.

The next event was a blind crawl.  In addition to all of my firefighter gear, I also wore an SCBA mask that was blacked out.  I was to crawl through a maze and not take my hand off the hose.  At times I felt like one of those robots that walk into a wall, say ouch, turn ninety degrees and walk into another wall.  This event, though awkward went well, also.  Next it was on to my timed event.

The timed even began by grabbing a hose and carrying it about fifty feet passed the checkpoint.  Next I had to pick up two medical packs weighing about thirty pounds seventy five feet to the next stop.  After this I had to pick up a charged line and carry it fifty feet.  I then proceeded to a forced entry simulation where I hit a target with a sledge hammer ten times.  I then walked up four flights of stairs that I thought would never end, with a high rise pack (a fifty-seven pound hose).  I went down one flight of stairs to where I pulled a rock on a rope up to the third floor then put it back down.  I came down the three flights of stairs to my final part of the timed event, the victim rescue.  The victim rescue was, by far, the most difficult of all tasks.  I had to drag a 160 pound dummy backward 75 feet after I did everything else.  Now let me explain the drag a bit.  Several weeks ago, and EMT friend of mine gave me explicit instructions on how to do the "fireman’s drag."  I picked up 220 pound Jared like a feather, I was pretty excited about my abilities, I even practiced on him a little before the test.  Now lets take a look at the differences…  Jared, a real human being has arms that bend, dummy does not.  Jared is small enough in the chest that I can wrap my arms around him without a problem, dummy does not.  Other differences lie in the fact that I was practicing dragging Jared around in a tee shirt and shorts, not firefighter gear.  In the real test I had thick firefighter jacket on, and an SCBA that may have been restrictive.  So  guess to make a long story short, when I tried to pick up the dummy the way I had been told before, I could not, my arms would not wrap around his body.  I ended up using just my hands under just his armpits and walking backward.  MInd you, this is the very last part of the test.  I am tired and I am giving it my all.  I am wanting to give up, but the guy giving me instructions is telling me I only have a little bit further to go.  I again want to give up, but there is a group of six or so firefighters cheering me on.  This was the coolest thing of it all.  Here was this group of people that were routing for me to finish on time.  They were there telling me how great I was doing, cheering me and encouraging me.  Why would I not want to work with such an awesome group of individuals?

So I finished with eight seconds to burn.  Instead of shaking my proctor’s hand, I gave him a hug.  My muscles were so sore and so much like jello that I had to have help getting off my gear.  Once I got inside, the chief had to help me get my pants off! 

I feel pretty proud about what I’ve accomplished today.  There was a point in time I wasn’t sure I would be able to make it.  The more I am around this group, the more I want to work with them.  I want this job more than I’ve wanted much of anything. 

 Thank you again to all of you that have been so supportive over the past few months, weeks and days, you know who you are.  I really appreciate your encouragement.  I will keep you all posted on how the rest of this process goes.

This Sunday I get the opportunity to take the physical test for my city’s fire department.  Last Saturday I did well on my written test, which qualified me for the physical test.  I have so many people that are supporting me right now, from people at BB.com to people in my tangible life.  I have so many people telling me that I can do this, that I can pass the physical test.  But I am human and though I have a great deal of confidence in myself, I still have so many doubts.  What if I am too slow?  WHat if I don’t follow directions?  What if I get freaked out on the ladder and can’t even go on to the agility test?  I have a bazillion what ifs in my head and it scares me.  It scares me to think that if I fail, I have to explain to all of these supporters I have that I didn’t make it.  I will already be disappointed in myself, but then I have to relive it every time I explain to another.  My only alternative is to do fantastically and be able to tell all these people how well I did.  I want this fire department job so bad, the more I think about it, the more I want it.  I am not sure I’ve ever wanted anything more.  And when multiple people tell you it is the greatest job ever, you start to believe it.  When I took my written test I found that there are about two hundred people trying out for maybe twelve positions.  The odds are pretty against me.  I guess I will take it a cliche one step at a time.  I will keep you all posted on what happens on Sunday.  Feel free to send me encouragement or advice. 

Thanks guys, you have all been pretty awesome with your support.

I feel the guilt of judgement right now.  I ran into two situations today that caused me to feel shame for another person. 

I work in my local mall, and every morning I cut through Panera Bread Company in order to get to my store.  Occassionally I will order a salad, and often I get a large cup of Iced tea with sweetner.  Every morning I go in, a large woman sits with another large woman eating her two pastries and iced coffe with whipped cream and chocolate.  She talks for hours with her friend.  This morning I overheard her talking about her struggles, and how she can never find time to exercise.  The other woman agreed with her, and how hard it is to find time in the day to get in physical activity.  I quietly took this in as I poured my tea.  It was still on my mind as I vacuumed my store.  My mind continued to wander off as I counted my drawer while watching mall walkers do a lap around the kiosk in front of my store.  The thought of her dilema eventually dispersed as people came into the store.  However, as soon as my coworker came in, and I again stepped into Panera for my refill, I saw the woman again, over two hours later.  This woman was in Panera at 9:00am when I walked in, and was still there after 11:30.  I am not going to say much about her food choices, that is already stated.  But she sat socializing with her friend for over two and one half hours, just sitting on her rump, complaining about not having time to exercise.  She has a whole mall to walk, yet she was just sitting doing nothing but complaining.  This would not have bothered me so much, with the exception of the fact that she comes in every morning and sits with her friend for several hours.  It seems like such an opportunity to me. 

Later today I headed to my local grociery store.  I filled my cart with lean meat and fresh veggies, natural peanut butter, frozen brocolli, M&F for Her Magazine, and toilet paper (what, that clean food has to go somewhere).  I was proud of my clean cart.  I walked up to the checkout, the family in front of me were loading up the conveyor…  It was easy to see the little boy in the family was incredibly overweight.  The also very very overweight mother and older daughter were putting their food up there.  I saw vegetable oil, hot dogs, mac and cheese, soda, sugary cereal, candy bars, sausage, chicken patties, potato chips, funyuns, and sugary lunch snacks.  There was not a single clean food item in their cart.  Then, as the young son grabbed for another candy bar, his mother yelled (and I mean yelled, she was not quiet at all) "You don’t need any of that bad stuff!"  I was so appalled.  If you as an adult want to jeopardize your healthy longevity, so be it.  But it is so unfair to subject your children to the same poor choices.  Is it ever my place to humbly criticize someone else’s poor decisions and mention a better alternative?