gymrat0226’s BodyBlog

One other thing I forgot to add my my last blog is that my trainer told me not to carb deplete/load or water deplete!  I have NEVER heard of not doing that.  He said my body is already in a catabolic state and you shouldn’t do it.  He said just don’t eat the morning of the prejudging except maybe a yogurt.  So how do you get to that peak???  I don’t understand and I need help.  I don’t know what to do because now I have no one to help me.  He said as long as I’m down to 120lbs I’ll be fine.

I only have 17 days left.  I’m exhausted from doing cardio 3x a day.  I’m so desperate to get the remaining fat off my legs.  My bodyfat hasn’t budged in weeks so I’m started to freak out.  My trainer said my upper body is ready I just need to work on the lower.  I just can’t seem to get that last layer of fat off to really show off my quads and glutes.  I changed my diet and started eat alot more fish, at least a can of tuna a day and some salmon with brown rice and asparagus 2x a day.  Robert told me to switch my diet around so I’m eating different things at different times of the day.  He said it worked for him by switching his morning snack to his breakfast and breakfast at morning snack.  Fine with me as long as I get to eat.  I’m going to cut out the caffeind and switch to decaf until the show to see if that makes a difference too.  I just need that coffee taste in the morning, caffeine doesn’t do much for me anyhow.  I changed my workouts again too and I’m doing full body workouts everyday but focusing mainly on hamstrings, glutes and calves.  Pretty much my whole back end.  I’m really trying hard to get extra sleep too because I was going on 5 hrs for at least 3-4 days of the week and it was killing me.  Well I’m pooped…I’m going to bed now…peace out

I took that day off work to get caught up on a few things and to just relax.  I slept 10 hours last night and it was well needed.  My hip is really hurting me from my workout with Robert the other night.  Hard to explain but I told him about how worried I was about my butt so he took it to another level.  Basically I sat at the end of a bench with one foot flat on the floor and one leg was extended straight out.  I used his shoulder just for balance and stood straight up.  Extremely hard to do.  The first set I did 6, second 8 and third 10.  So our workout today was mixed with some posing because my left his is really sore.  He thinks it’s because my left leg is shorter than the other.  So I bought these memory foam inserts for my shoes and I’m only going to put it in one shoe to see if it helps at all.  It’s been hurting me since last week when I started running more often.

Today I got a massage, had a tan, got my hair cut and tonight I’m going to stone the other half of my 2pc.  No cardio today…Robert’s orders.  I’m just supposed to relax and rest my hip.  Boy does this feel nice….

I didn’t do my 3 week out pics today.  Maybe tomorrow.  I’m just chillin’ tonight.

I’m 3 weeks out and seriously considering that I won’t be ready.  I can’t stress about it anymore.  I’ve invested too much time and money into this and I’m not stopping now.  I don’t have time to be depressed and feel sorry for myself.  I’m working as hard as I can.  I’m extremely tired now.  I’m running every night after working out and then practicing my posing at least 4x a week for an hour not to mention everytime I walk into the bathroom.  I’m getting up most mornings and doing the elliptical with my sauna suit on.

I spent another $106 on some crazy stuff at the supplement store.  I bought Cheaters carb blocker to help me a little, T7 Extreme-some kind of fat incinerating metabolic agent and Metaboderm fat loss lotion.  It’s supposed to help with skin tone, firmness and elasticity.  That was $50!  I’m so desperate right now I’ll try anything.  I’ve been stuck at 16% bodyfat for weeks and I just don’t know what to do anymore.  I increased my vegetables and protein.  My trainer told me I wasn’t taking enough amino acids.  He wants me to take liquid amino 3x a day.  Well I told him that when I add that to my daily calorie intake I don’t have much food left to eat and I’m starving.  I’m so hungry sometimes I start shaking.  He told me not to count it and make sure I take it.  I’m losing muscle and it will help to fill me out.

I met with Vanessa the suit lady at the gym last night and tried on the bottoms of my 2pc she altered.  I almost started crying in the changeroom.  They’re so tight I have 4 asses!  The material is velour so it expands every little place you have a bulg. In my case my butt.  So I asked her today to just remake them for me.  I’m just not comfortable in them.  The 1 pc looks good because the material’s different.  She said she’s going to putt a liner in the back so that the material doesn’t give as much and she’s not even charging me for it.  She’s so nice and she’s been so helpful.  She even showed me how to decorate my suits and where to buy the stones in bulk.  By the way her website is teazfashions.com.  She has the cheapest suits.  She charged me $160 for the 1pc and 2pc undecorated.  She does most of her business overseas.  She’s very good and extremely patient.  I also tried on my dress she designed for me and it looks awesome.  I can’t wait to try it on when she’s finished altering it.

I’ll do my 3 weeks out pics tomorrow and post them.  I’ll probably be crying and feeling sorry for myself again!

Well it’s 4 weeks from today and I haven’t had the sick feeling in my stomach yet.  I think it’s probably because I don’t have time to even think about it right now.  I had my first posing session today with my trainer.  Took some picks that I’ll post later.  My front side and back pose are perfect.  I really have to work on my front left pose.  It totally sucks and I can’t seem to get my elbow up high enough and at the same time straighten my wrist out, and oh yeah, tighten my legs.  The posing is the hardest for me.  Training is the easy part, then comes the diet which I think I have a handle on now and then the posing.

I registered for the show, bought VIP tickets for my husband and kids.  I also, met the suit lady at the gym after posing and showed her a pic of my suits.  The one piece is so high it looks like granny panties in the back so she’s going to lower it by a good two inches.  My two piece also needs to be lowered in the back and she forgot to put the loops on when she altered it the first time.  She’s also taking about an inch in the width on the back because it’s too wide.  I think what happened was when I got fitted 5 weeks ago I was so scared and told her to make it cover as much as possible.  I lost so much weight since then and have a little more confidence so I told her to cut it up!

I bought a sauna suit from Walmart for $7.  I’ll wear the bottoms to help me loose that weight off my legs.  I’m not really sure what the deal is with those but I’ll try anything right now.  I’ve heard good an bad so if anyone knows anything please let me know.  I also bought some adjustable ankle weights for leg lifts.  The YMCA is pretty limited on their little things like weighted balls and stuff like that so I thought this would be easier than trying to stick a dumbell between my feel for weighted leg raises.  I also want to find some weight clips so I can increase my weight a little on barbells.  Not sure where to find those.  No one seems to have them.  Maybe I can get them online.

Now I have to start eating all the gross things I hate like asparagus, brussels sprouts and yams.  OMG I hate yams more than asparagus.  I gag when I eat it.  When I was a kid my mother used to my squash all the time and I used to almost throw up on my plate.  She would make me sit at the table until I ate every last bit of it.  I did not do that to my kids by the way.  That’s just torture.  So anything orange and squashy doesn’t sit right with me.  I bought some greek yogurt too.  My trainer told me about it but holy cow it’s expense.  I found it at Walmart for $1.57 for one small one.  But it has 0 fat and 16gm of protein.  It’s nice and thick too, not like that Yoplait stuff.  As for the yams, I’m going to put them in the oven like french fries.  Slice them up and baste them with olive oil and italian seasoning and see if I can eat them that way.  Hopefully they’ll go crispy instead of mushy.  I found a great recipe in the fall special edition issue of Oxygen Nutrition for sweet potato and vegetable leek soup.  Here’s the recipe:

2 tsp extra virgin olive oil
1 cup chopped onion
1/2 cup diced celery
2 minced garlic cloves
1/2 tsp ground black pepper
1/2 tsp sea salt
8 cups low-sodium chicken broth
2 cups water
1/2 tsp dried oregano
4 cups chopped sweet potato
3 cups thinly sliced leeks (use the stalk, not leaves)
1 heaping cup brussels sprouts
2 tbsp chopped fresh italian flat leaf parsley

Makes 12 servings
Sautee onions, celery, garlic, pepper and salt, then throw everything in a pot a simmer for 25 min.
Nutrition: Calories 144, fats: 5 g, Sodium: 16 mg, Carbs: 25g, Fibre: 3 gr, Sugar: 9 gr, Protein: 4 g, Iron: 2 mg.

Okay, gotta go do cardio…yippeee

My workout kind of sucked last night because of the detox.  I don’t think there was anything left in my body but I was able to keep my dinner in me.  It’s hard because you’re not supposed to have caffeine or anything like that and that’s what gives me that little kick for my workouts.  Sometimes I take a caffeine pill with some liquid L-carnitine or I take N.O.2 Explode.  My trainer told my not to take anything like that while doing detox.  I couldn’t do abs either because my stomach was so sore from my traumatic detox experience.   If I have the same experience as yesterday I’m going to cut the dosage in half tomorrow.

The last two mornings I was able to get up at 5:30 to do cardio so I’m feeling really good about that along with my evening cardio.  I took everyone’s advice and stopped running.  It was really taking a toll on my hips.  They were really aching from running so much.  My trainer insists on me running and I don’t know why because we all know that it’ll break down what muscle when you’re dieting down.  I’m eating between 1300-1500 calories a day and I’ve cut back on my carbs.

Tonight will be a hectic night.  I have to stop by and pick up my posing suits on the way home from work and I have an appointment with my trainer at 7 so somewhere in between there I have to feed the kids.  And then there’s Adrian.  He’s my 15 yr step son who’s a big thorn in my side.  He’s on the football team and thank God this is his last week because I’m so tired of having to schedule our lives around him.  He’s a spoiled brat and the laziest child I’ve ever met in my life.  In the past 2 years since I’ve been here I can’t even count the number of times that I packed my bags to go back to Canada because of him.  That’s the only thing I get pissed at my husband about, other than that we have a great marriage.  He has spoiled his kids and I have to constantly try to break him of it because he’s created high rolling monsters.  It’s been a constant battle between Adrian and I.  Anyhow, the school never knows when or where football practice is and we have to sit and wait for him to call us if he missed the activity bus.  Well I won’t do it.  He doesn’t deserve to be catered to since he has 3 F’s, 3 D’s, a C and 1 A and that’s in Airbrushing.  I can’t believe he hasn’t been kicked off the team yet.  Not to mention my husband still lets him on his computer ALL night long from the time he gets home from school until the time he goes to bed and NEVER does homework.  My husband works afternoons so this is what I have to deal with 3 school nights of the week and it’s very stressful for me.  So tonight we have no idea how he’s getting home or where he’s even practicing.  I’m at the point where I don’t even care anymore.

I don’t even know why I went on about him but I guess this is where you share your experiences and stresses in life.

I’m starting to get the pre-show jitters now thinking “what the hell have I gotten myself into”.  I’ve been following two of my friends on bodyspace and their journey through a first and second figure competition and their blogs just scare the life out of me but I’m still so pumped and excited.  It’s very weird and hard to explain.  I don’t think anyone walks on stage not being nervous.  It’s not like I’m going to die or anything.  Well maybe from heart failure.  Is there some kind of pill I can take to calm my nerves???  I’ll seriously have to check into it.  Yesterday morning during our weekly production meeting we all go around the table and tell how many jobs we have and the status, etc.  Well when it came to my turn I paid attention to how I reacted talking in front of everyone.  It wasn’t bad because I know everyone but I sat there and flicked my pen the whole time I was talking.  Next was Brian.  I watched him and he scratches the back of his neck the whole time.  Then Alice.  She rubs her nose a few times.  Everyone has some time of nervous tick when speaking in front of people.  Then my mind started to travel.  Thinking, could I actually put a bikini on and walk in front of all these people in 5” heels????  NOT!!!!!!  Then I started picturing myself on stage standing in front of all those people and how I would be.  Would I trip, would I be able to smile, would I be shaking?  OMG I started to panic!

So I started a detox yesterday…holy crap…that’s all I have to say.  I feel like my insides are being sucked out of my body.  The morning pill tastes like something scraped off the bottom of a barn floor and the evening pill tastes like it’s been poisoned.  Then there’s the powder that turns to slime when it hits water.  OMG it’s so nasty.  I feel like throwing up everytime I take it.

My training is going very well.  My diet is pretty strict except I slipped up on the weekend and had 15 tostitos and ice cream.  OMG I paid for that!  I seriously am not cheating again!  I don’t care if I feel like I’m dying of hunger.  It’s crunch time now and no messing around.  I’m picking up my suits tomorrow night.  My stones should be here tomorrow too so I’ll have to start designing how I’m going to decorate them.  The lady is also working on my evening gown…it’s over the top!  I love it.  It’s going to look sooooooo nice.  This weekend I’m going to get my tanner at the supplement store and I’m going to buy a 1 month package at the tanning salon and start my tanning now to get a good “natural” base.  My head is just spinning now.  I have sooooo much to do still.  I haven’t even really started practicing posing yet!  I mean I’ve been posing but not the walk or anything like that.  So I booked Thursday afternoon off and made an appointment with my trainer to do posing.  I’m also going to ask the manager at my gym if I can come in on Sundays and use the cardio studio to practice and try to get my friend Cecilia to practice with me.  She’s also competing with me but not against me.  I’ll be with the over 40 ladies…thank God!  Okay, I have to do so work now…peace out.

Well I waited two weeks to take new pictures and I’m not happy with my progress at all.  The only difference I see is my back.  My legs look terrible and I really don’t think I’m going to be ready in 5 weeks.  Looks like I’m going to have to do ALOT more cardio.  I’m going to have to start running 2 times a day if I want to be ready.  In the past 2 weeks I lost about 3 lbs and I lost 1/2" off my waist, 1/2" off my hips and 1/4" off my legs.  The funny thing is in real life I don’t look like my pictures.  That’s what’s so discouraging.  I had my husband look at my pictures I took and my in real life and you can’t see the fat that you see in the pictures.  I mean it’s there but not as prominent as the pictures.  I don’t know if it’s the lighting or what.  Needless to say I definitely need to do more cardio.  I have to do this if it kills me.  This has been my life long dream and I have so many people rooting for me and want to come and see me so now I feel obligated.  Not to mention I spent $900 on a trainer, $900 on an elliptical machine, the supplements, my two posing suits, evening gown, shoes and it’s still not over.  I have to spend about $100 on stones to decorate my suits, make-up, tanning.  I’m sure this show has set me back around $3,000 and this is just an amateur show!  Not to mention the amount of time and stress.

I’ll finish this blog tomorrow…I’m tired just thinking about all this.

Peace out…

Okay, seriously have to get serious about my diet now.  NO CHEATING AT ALL!  I went for my first fitting today.  She did an excellent job and I’m really happy with my suits.  She added a little more material than usual which is fine with me.  This is just my first show and it’s an amateur show so I’m not too worried.  I’m just going through the motions.  She has to take alot in on the hips and waist because she didn’t expect to lose that much but I told her that’s the first place I lose it.  Too bad that wasn’t the case for my legs!   The lady I went to is Vanessa at www.teazfashions.com.  She happens to be 5 min from my house. Her prices are dirt cheap and she even gave me all the info of where to buy my stones and she show me what glue to use, how to do a pattern and how to put them on.  She gave me lots of tips too so if you ever need a suit made, check her out.

The issue I have with my rear end was taken care of by the suit…lol…but I still have alot of fat to lose and tightening up to do.  So I’ll focus on that.  I’ll be doing lunges everyday after cardio so hopefully that’s going to help. My problem area is my lower body which is where most women have a problem.  I’ve just had all this excess fat for so long it’s not going to be easy to get rid of it.

Everyone seems to have faith in me except me…My trainer, husband, everyone on bodyspace…It’s just so hard for me to believe that you can transform your body that drastically in only 6 more weeks.  Last week has been the hardest week for me.  My diet sucked, I was depressed because I think I’m running out of time.  I was feeling like a big failure…again…but it’s time to pick up my sorry ass and stop feeling sorry for myself and DO IT RIGHT!

Peace out friends…

Why do some people feel it’s okay to criticize others on here.  Are we not all here for the same thing…inspiration???  It’s sad that people do this.  Kind of like the bully in school.  That’s what this guy reminds me of.   It’s really amazing how 200 people on bodyspace can give you compliments and make you feel so great and one fat ass idiot comes on and starts writing all kinds of crap on your board that you have a fat ass.  That just pisses me off!  The first comment kind of made me wonder and I made a funny comment back to him but then he came back with something even more rude.  I was so upset and hurt by this I went and ate a piece of coffee cake at Starbucks.  Things piss me off and I can get over them but when someone tells me I have a fat ass it just sets me back into such a deep depression.  This is the last thing I need 6 weeks before my contest!  I wanted to remove my profile because of this but why should I!  Screw him…big fat mouth of his.  If he was some hot GQ guy, it might be a little different.  Not saying it’s okay but what I’m saying is this guy’s a fat ass and has no right criticizing anyone!  Wow…I feel much better now that I got that off my chest!  He can BITE ME!!!!