Getting nervous
I ordered posing videos and watched them on the weekend. Now I’m seriously crapping my pants. I don’t know if I can do it. I keep getting discouraged because I’m afraid I’m not going to be ready on time. I have to really tighten up my ass and abs or I won’t do it. I saw some of the girls on the video and I’m sorry but if I look like them I’m not going to humiliate myself and walk out on stage. I don’t want anything jiggling when I walk. Some of those girls had a fat ass and you could see wrinkles when they walked and turned. Not me!!!! I have to go buy my shoes this weekend and start practicing.
My training is going very good. My trainer said I’m starting to get that indent now on my ass that shows I’m in really good shape. I’m feeling tighter now when I walk so I think I’m making some progress. I just have to keep taking pictures to prove to myself that I am making progress. My diet sucked all weekend. I felt like munching a lot and I was really pissed at my stepson and husband which made me self destructive. I was so mad I felt like having a cigarette but I’m not going to let some little lazy ass kid make me that mad. I’m starting to think I’m making excuses about not being ready because I’m too afraid to walk out on that stage. I have serious stage fright.
Tonight I training with Robert and I’m going to show him my bikini pic and show him how much work my ass seriously needs. Maybe he’ll step things up a little when he sees the picture.
August 20, 2008 at 6:38 am
I am also preparing for my first competition in October. I ordered a video of the 2007 Jr. Nationals and have been watching athletes posing whereever I can online. I, too, saw some women that made me think, initially, ‘they don’t look ready’. But, then, I thought it takes courage to get up there regardless of one’s conditioning. For some women, it was a HUGE personal journey to get to that point. And every athlete starts somewhere and improves over time. Or tried something that didn’t work.
I know how you feel–I am so nervous. AND I just twisted my ankle with is going to put cramp in some of my training. I too, am having ‘glute issues’ BUT I am going to finish what I started. And seven months later, in my next competition, I’ll know more and be that much better!
You look great and have made tremendous progress–great legs and abs!