Falling back in love…

So today (the 13th) I just did some aerobics/kick boxing in the living room… I did an hour yesterday after hearing I didn’t get a job I wanted… It was really rough… I really just wanted to start drinking, but I didn’t, not even one drop.  Instead I just worked out and told myself that tomorrow I would’t care… And I was right.  I’m over it.

However, my SO and I ordered in dinner last night, yummy!  Way too many carbs and not enough protein, but caloriewise it wasn’t a total bust.  I actually did ok, thanks to not eating very much earlier in the day…

Today I woke up, and didn’t eat right away, oops.  I searched for jobs online and that took about 2 hours, then I grabbed a banana and worked out.  It wasn’t until about an hour later when I decided I should eat something else, so I ate some chicken strips that I had marinated and cooked the other day.  They were delicious!  Today I’m going to make 4 oz turkey patties that I can just wrap up and eat whenever.

Yesterday I switched up the order of my upper body workout and I can really feel it today!  It was a kickass workout, and the DOMS isn’t so bad that I can’t move my arm, but good enough to know I worked hard.  Oh, and I’m waiting for a delivery from bb.com, yay!!  Lipo-6 and some syntrax nectar, mmm mmm mmm!

Ok so I really DID leave the house to go buy a measuring tape   And whoooooo… the results are rough.  I have my 33 inch waist again, I swear to god my body just wants to always hang out right there… My chest is 41.75 (ah!!) and my hips are 42.5 (ugg).  However, my waist to hip ratio is still ~ 77% so that’s good.  I’ll always be curvy, thank goodness.

Now for some happier news… From my absolute PEAK of fitness, I have only lost 3 pounds of muscle!!!  However, after that peak, I went on some meds that made me not eat, at all, and I lost about 10 pounds in 3 weeks, alllll of it muscle.  So from that point, I’ve actually managed to gain about 8 pounds of muscle   But, I have gained 28 pounds of fat since my peak, so that’s a bummer.

So here are some raw stats

June 2006

Weight= 158

BF= 17%

Lean Mass= 131

Fat pounds= 27

March 2007

Weight= 184

BF= 30%

Lean Mass= 128

Fat Pounds= 56

But again, like I said, for the first time ever I don’t hate myself for the state of my body.  I knew, with every pound I gained, exactly what I was doing and why I was gaining weight.  I accept 100% responsibility for it, and with that, comes the knowledge that I have 100% control over changing it.  And on that note, it’s upper body day, yay.  I think I’ll grab some string cheese to eat first, since I haven’t had anything to eat for over 10 hours, eek!

I weigh more right now than I ever have.  I just have my first real yo-yo diet where I gain it all back and then some.

However.  I have nearly all my muscle left.  That makes me really happy.  I don’t feel like I lost much lean muscle mass, just gained fat.  So I’m hoping I’ll be able to drop some fat faster this time since I’ll *hopefully* be burning more calories per day just by having more muscle…

Ok that does it, I’m going to go buy some measuring tape and try to get my BF %

I love March.  It may soon become my favorite month.  Here are some reasons

1) By the 20th, it means that my parents have been married one more year, which is something to be extremely grateful for.

2) Spring is coming!

3) Basketball!  March Madness!  Pac-10 tourney!

4) And finally… By March I have gotten sick of not working out all the time… I’m usually good about losing weight and work out from March to June… and then during summer I enjoy the fruits of my labor, and by Fall I’m enjoying sweatshirts and football games.  But working out is fun, results are fun, drinking enough water is also fun… I’m bummed about the lack of cardio I have going on based on the fact that I don’t have a treadmill, but I’m doing aerobics so that’s good.  And I’m watching what I eat, so that’s good too.  It’s hard for me to get in the routine of dieting.  I’m not one of those people who can just go gung ho… So I’m super proud of myself

Today has been laaazy… Well, sort of… I just don’t feel like I got a lot done around the house, and it’s already 3:30.  I woke up earlier than usual today, but had errands to run… I grabbed a taco salad which was ok except I’m a little concerned about what they consider ‘ground beef’… Hmmm… Oh well, it’s protien and some veggies and some cheese.  I’m probably maxed out on my fat needs for the day tho, ha.

I worked out on the stationary bike for a little over 20  minutes doing good ol’ intervals.  It’s such an old bike and hard to gauge the different resistances, but it got my heart rate up.  I’m pissed tho, because I forgot I am not allowed to do spinning or ride bikes because of my blown shoulder.  I injured it last Xmas doing spinning classes.  Oops.  NO SUPPORTING MYSELF WITH MY ARMS!!  Must remember that!!!
I’m slacking on the water today too… One glass and then another 16 oz from my water bottle… Looks like I’ll be peeing all night!!  No Xenadrine today, it made me feel really sick when I was working out, so I’m gonna go without for now.

So I’m not atually going full speed ahead quite yet as far as my eating goes.  I’m trying to make sure I get enough protien for my muscles, but right now, that’s ABOUT it… Yesterday wasn’t too bad… 2 soy milk and whey protien shakes, 1 sweet potato, 3/4 of a bbq sandwich (yeah, too much sugar in the sauce and potato bread, eeek!!!!), then some cheese and crackers… Whih, for all the crap we have in the house, isn’t so bad…

What WAS bad was when I decided to drink vodka… and as if the vodka isn’t bad enough for so many reasons (#1 right now being that my muscles are screaming from dehydration), I of course chased it with orange juice… And left the orange juice by my bed, so I basically drank a half gallon of orange juice by the time I woke up, eeep!!!

Meh, that’s what I get for drinking in the first place.  I’m soooo sore from my lower body workout yesterday… I think some good time on the stationary bike is just what I need

That and lots of water.  And some advil, uuuugggggg

It’s been 5 hours since I woke up and I haven’t had more than a soy milk protien shake to eat, uggg… My memory is all foggy too, I can hardly remember if my boyfriend came home for lunch or not… Oh wait, yes he did, he went to the bank and then came here.  Crazy how it feels to have your brain space out…

I took some Syntrax Guggulbolic Extreme today, as well as the fat burning pair- Xenadrine NRG.  I am just now forcing myself to chug down some water.  I hate the water in this old house, but I know I need to be drinking SO much more.  I hate feeling dehydrated, but feel blessed that I have the ability to tune into my body and know what it needs.

Boyfriend is on the way home- we are gonna do bills and then I’m going to do my lower body workout while he hangs out on the stationary bike and rowing machine.  I need to eat before I work out.  I think I’ll have a sweet potato.

I haven’t gotten on the scale in a month… I’m so scared…
Aw, my love is home.  Bye for now…