Fit for Freedom

Focus on the prize.  Do not be distracted.  Keep mindful and aware of all that is…presence.  I have been remiss.  I have listened to that which is without instead of living that which is within.  True self is no self.  Lifting for the sake of lifting and not being desirous of admiration or contact from anyone for any reason.  People always will let you down.  Through no fault of their own they have their own ego issues to work through.  People are paranoid and fearful of genuine human contact.  What possible good would e-mail do in forming contacts.  It would be just as good to get a book.  We all want.  Like hungry ghosts we run around seeking one thing muscle.  But because we fear we are not enough or we want admiration to stroke or egos.  What pure lifter says little or nothing-potentially the greatest?

Rest day. Cardio and abs.  Rest compared to heavy lifting.  I made a weight miscalculation when I looked at my scales.  My bar weighs 40 lbs and not 30.  Good news that I am lifting more instead of less.

Soreness or ache in the right forearm/elbow today.  Almost like a stress fracture.  Very strange I must say.  I will see how that effects my performance today.  Biceps, squats.  These are becoming less fun and more of a challenge.  Diet is changing too.  Time to become a evangelical Christian/Republican in the diet-ultra conservative.  So fruit, protein, fluids.  Time so see "What Lies Beneath."  I did not sleep too  well last night.  Dark Chocolate might be good for you but not after 6-7 PM.  Restless sleep.  Also, I need to alter my sleep position.  My are is going numb on the left-a definite occurence since the muscles have grown.

Tis the time and day to work on those areas that get tense from stress.  The lat development is the slowest I think since I do not have a lat bar/machine.  The rows are OK but…The presses are a struggle as the weight has increased.  I have added my weight belt for these to give myself a little more spinal stability.  The shrugs are fine.  I did order a magnassager for post workout days.  Massage usually helps quite a bit to ease the pain/soreness away.

Good work when the next day they are sore, not hurt but sore.  I broke through a plataeu with pure will power yesterday.  Will continue that feat in the future.  I did not lift heavy enough on the stiff legged deadlifts so they will be added onto slowly.  I was afraid of blowing a disc.  I wiould rather be a pansy and start slow and steady.  I am shocked though at how strong certain muscle groups are like the lower back and traps.  Stomach day, grips,  yuk on the former…

Lift day for the old man.  It is funny how I can get excited about lifting but ab work makes me want to hurl.  But, I did it anyway.  It is too akin to nausea when I am finished, not to mention the cramps afterword.  I am experimenting with moxabustion to see if it improves or retains more muscle during the cold season.  The trouble is that it smells to high heaven.  I don’t care but Sandy is not to fond of it.  It could be worse.  As far as the triceps go it is time to confuse them a bit so I will switch over to kick backs give the close grip bench press a rest for awhile…

My left hand has started to tingle after I do  biceps.  I notice it in the 2 fingers laterally and thumb.  I wonder if I am squeezing up to hard.  I know the muscle mass has increased to the point I cannot get close to my shoulders.  I decreased the heavy weight and dropped weight to go to higher reps.  Will see if that works.  Chest is still sore.  Biceps tight and hams/quads sore for squats. 20×3 at 200 lbs.-until I get a concrete floor.

I will get the captains of crush grippers and start doing those soon.  That should help the deadlift quite a bit.  I can do the weight but hands cannot hold the bar.  The curse of strong legs weak arms…

Biceps and squats today.  Chest is still sore from Saturdays benching, flys, etc. Diet improved but will take fine tuning.  Stress makes it hard to lift.  My kids will not be with me this year for Christmas.  They do not want to come down anymore related to remarriage.  How sad is that?  I cannot change anything except to tell all parties to growup.  Or I could just vanish.  That sounds fun but not mature.  Maybe I will just lift.  Just lift today!

Sometimes all you can do is cry. Can’t lift-your sick.  Wife sick.  Kids 125 miles away.  God won’t talk to you like you wish He would.  What do you do?  Lift where you can and let go of what you cannot.  We are social and part of something greater but it is overwhelming because before we can look through the eyes of others we have to accept the vision we have.  Whether you are attempting to breakthrough a physical or emotional plateau each is hard.  Some of my friends in this space have it hard-no money, problems with spouses, kids, freaking everything.  The only consolation is that everything is looking up when you hit bottom.  We allow our selves to hit bottom to learn there really is no control over this life.  You cry about what we wish we could change and then move on praying God and the Saints will heal our wounds as we walk battered and bleeding into Nirvana, the pearly gates or whatever.  May God bless each of us this day as we find strength and comfort in ourselves and one another.  And yes, today is a lift day.  When you are really burdened becareful, heavy weights when you are sad can be really dangerous.  The umph just isn’t there…