goforitnicks’s BodyBlog

You know, like any other person, I thought it would be a great idea to start my transformation this spring/summer for that hot summer body. I soon discovered that with the sun out, warm weather approaching and the BBQs dusted off that this transformation will be tougher than I thought. In the last two weeks I have been invited to dinners and lunches so many times, I have stopped counting. I didn’t even have to buy groceries for an entire week! Though the social gatherings are great, it’s horrible when trying to start a transformation. Knowing what I know now, I will do my major transformations in the fall/winter from now on. When everyone is a hermit and I don’t have scrumptious soul food to tempt me.

Anyhoo, my co-workers have made it a point to tell me that I have gained weight. I was just pregnant! Give me a break! That’s how anorexia starts I tell you… insensitive people. Anyway, I am just using this situation to motivate me. I’ll show them.

My bodyspacer friend julofthenile recently gave me a gift of a nutrionist to help me kickstart my goals. I do not know how to begin to express my thanks. I was feeling so overwhelmed and depressed having gained weight, gone through physical torture and still had no baby to show for it…Her kind gesture did more for me than she knows. Give it up for Jules everyone! Yea!

(The nutrionist is another fellow bodyspacer if you want info, let me know. She is really good).

 Anyhoo, today is my wedding anniversary (yea!) so I am taking off for a week. I am not sure of my access to internet, but I will try and keep in touch. I am planning not to totally blow it in the meals department.

In my next blog I will talk about a challenge I joined (Fight the Fluff). My husband needs the computer, so I am off to clean house.

Be good everyone!

I went back to the gym for the first time in about a month. Yea. I was so excited. "whoo hoo". However, the cheering was shortlived by my husband’s injured elbow and a trip to the grocers. We cut the workout short and I decided to run to the grocers for some milk and came out with milk and pecan pie (my husband’s doing). So the rest is history. A good day ended with pie. Oh why, oh why. Oh well, tmr is a new day.

I am off now to discuss eating habits with my husband (not over pie, I promise) and tmr I will post some goals. We both need to get back on the wagon, so perhaps a detailed discussion/covenant will do us well.

I am back at work today after a week and a half off. As much as I would like to think that life would be better not working but instead sitting on the beach sipping protein shakes in between workouts, the reality is that work gives me purpose to my days and help keep me from becoming lazy.  So there, I can’t believe I am saying this but I am glad to be back.
 
Of course on my first day back, with my new clean eating resolve I had to face the staff lunch invite to jerk chicken, rice and peas, coleslaw and gravvyy…yummm. Oh was it easier when I was home with no temptations. To be honest, against the lunch invite, my dry boiled-egg veggie pita was looking bland in comparison. I almost caved in, then I got the idea of browsing through BB.com during my lunch hour to help reinforce why I am giving up soul food for lettuce and egg whites. It helped! I ate that pita in less than no time and I was refocused after watching people’s profiles and transformations. So from now on when my resistance is low, I will be eating with you. You don’t even know it but you helped me from blowing my diet today. Thanks for your company!

It’s 2am and while everyone is sleeping, I am thinking about fitness. Ah yes…It’s deep in my blood. I had set a come back date of June 1st to supposedly allow my body time to heal. Heck, I am healed, let’s get on with it!

I haven’t been in the gym for about a good month now and I think later today, as soon as the doors are open I will be walking on that threadmill. I would not go hardcore but I need to go. If I feel pain I will stop but I just can’t wait anymore.

Yesterday I spent some time with the inlaws eating chips, cake, cookies, and white-everything. At this ghostly hour in the morning I am paying for it. I am sick sick sick to my stomach. I am realizing that I can’t go back to unhealthy eating. My body wouldn’t let me. Yea…. I feel like a vegetarian eating meat. So I guess the past two years I’ve dedicated to this sport has some residual effect. Even though I don’t have a competition body, I have a healthy one that would not tolerate crap anymore. Hmmm, I kinda like that.

So my new comeback date is today! Why put it off for tmr? I can’t start trying to have another baby until September so until then, it is birth control, hardcore training and a new diet! Whatever it takes…It’s my time this summer.

I am really pumped. Even though my body is not ready for the gym, my mind is. AND THAT IS WHAT MATTERS.

Yesterday while cleaning (which I am not supposed to be doing), I was listening to episodes of the fit show and reading other fitness articles. I had remembered how I first got into bodybuilding. I would spend hours on this site and others feeding my mind. So yesterday I set a target date to start my workout regimen. June 1st. That should give my body 2 more weeks to recover and my mind plenty more time to get grounded. I could hardly wait.

I heard one preacher say the following…which is so so true:

words defines your thinking

thinking defines your decisions

decisions defines your actions

actions define your habits

habits defines your character

character defines your destiny

Pay attention to the words you are reading, listening to and telling yourself!

I am sure that there are folks on this site who have suffered or are suffering from some kind of ailment. Not only sports related but probably hereditary, or because of negligence or a case of misfortune? It’s tough. What do you do if you want to work out and can’t. What happens to your soul, to your mind when you are bound in bed and can’t go out to play? Does perusing bb.com helps when you can’t engage in the stimulating blogs as you have not done anything in a while? I think so. I tried to stay away from this site because I felt like a loser, gaining weight and watching my hard work turn into blubber but I think that is working against me. I have been feeling worse. Most people on this site are gracious, kind and encouraging. I am glad I checked my mail, because I had a few pick-me-uppers that really boosted my confidence. So even though I can’t go out there and  lift heavy, I am guarding my mind against complacency through this site. 

So if you are out of commission like me, don’t let that stop you from feeding your mind with the armour you will need when you are physically ready. Get well soon!

So I am mostly on bed rest waiting for this ordeal to be over with. My friends have been trying to do the kind thing and so I have had an outporing of high fat home cook meals so that I wouldn’t have to cook. God bless their hearts.

Yuck…high calorie coconut water and sweet muffins… I really mean yumm, because it tastes good but the calories scare me. Anyway, I have decided to clean up the goodies because it is there in front of me and I don’t want to waste people’s money and time. Actually, I am really eating the foods because I haven’t had them in a very long time and they taste good. I know I will probably pay for it so when you read my blogs in the coming weeks of how much my stomach is sticking out please feel free to tell me "I told you so!" If it isn’t in the house I won’t eat it but I don’t know how to tell people stop bringing me these things. It does not help that I am laying down for most of the day. ewww. I don’t know how people can be couch potatoes, seriosuly, it’s such a waste of time and mental energy.

I am on chemo drugs so it is knocking the wind out of me.  I am hoping to be up on my feet and in the gym from next week. I really hope I heal fast. I can’t stand it any longer.

I have 2 more muffins and some pot pie to finish off, so I will eat that some time this week and start anew next week. I must arrive in style by summer. Since my plans change, I can hit the weights and go back to my strict eating plan with a vengeance. Though I am sad how this summer opportunity came about I am excited to work this body into hotness. My husband and I will start again in September. By then I should have something to be proud of.

I am waiting for the drug to take full effect. Who’s idea was it to invent something that will slowly end a pregnancy? Fine. I get my body back, no more puking and putting on weight. No more dairy because I don’t need the extra calcium. I can workout twice a day now and eat strict.

How will I choose? Will I sink into a depression and regain all the weight or will I hit the gym and destroy every set I attempt to do? How will I choose to channel this anger and disappointment? I hope the latter.