goforitnicks’s BodyBlog

So I admit that I am an all or nothing gal. I have my perfect routine when I am doing well. Wake up early, do cardio, get my 5 meals in - all packed in tupperware a day ahead- Drink loads and loads of water, Meet my husband in the evening, do weights, have a shake, and then do it all over again the next day…until day 8-12, then I wonder why am I spending so much of my day around food and fitness and then I start to sleep in.

So now that I am on the other end of that perfect routine, I am wondering how to get back without having the strictness of it all. can I lose the desired weight, cut and develop muscles by only going to the gym 3 times a week? I didn’t think so. But I can tell you for a fact that right now the discipline gene is lying dormant and it can’t seem to wake itself up. So I need to develop some way of coping with my day if I don’t start off with a nice run. I need to realize that I could still lose weight, slowly but surely even if I am not competition strict (I am not training for one btw). I need to get away from this all or nothing attitude or else I will make no progress. So here I am saying at 2:30am on Thursday, that even if I don’t get cardio in later this morning, I will still move like a champion and eat right for the entire day. That’s my plan and I am sticking to it. Routine or no routine.

Last night, I did shoulders and tris. It was good considering I went from being in a deep sleep on the couch to dipping in the gym. I guess some of my resolve is coming back.

So I have had enough with the bad attitude. For the past few days I have been eating to reflect my mood and interestingly enough my body, mind and soul is sick of it. How does the average north American consistently eat crap?!! How could they stand such foods day after day? Don’t they feel sluggish and sick? Starting last Friday (5 days ago) I have indulged in chocolates, pies, frozen yogurt, beef patties, juice, cookies and bread and now I feel sick to my stomach. I didn’t have those foods all at once, they were spread out over the five day period but because my body is not used to eating like that, I now feel like throwing up. I feel like I had a big blue and purple slurpie from a convenient store. I never had a slurpie per se but I imagine them to be unsanitary and gross.  Anyhoo, I can’t put another morsel of refined goop down the chute. I’’ll convulse and spontaneously combust. It serves me right. I know better. 

So, I still don’t think fitness is back to top priority in my life but I know it can’t take last place anymore. I feel worse when I eat crap and don’t exercise. I am not sure how all the other fitness buffs deal with stress but I need to learn a thing or two because I can’t keep eating my life away anytime sh*t hits the fan.  So here I am. 5 lbs heavier and ashamed to be in the starting blocks again. I guess I will have a good start as I have been here before…now it’s just for me to finish this race.  

It took me a very long time to start typing this blog as I don’t think I have anything grand to say. But then I realize that this is my blog and it’s primarily for me to keep track of how I am doing, so I warn you, the ramblings today are for my record keeping, you may find it winter-blue…

So my life is a bit topsy turvy right now. Stress at work, stress at home, stress at church. I can’t seem to pull it together to go to the gym or eat sweet potatoes and chicken breast. Instead, I have been crawling home to stay in bed and eat carb-filled sugary bon bons. I know I need to pull it together. Get my resolve, face the world, activate my faith. I know, I know, I know but this is life. A journey that involves mack trucks and wrong turns that bewilders the most planned out routines. So here I am, standing. Swaying and buckling under the pressure. Trying to make health and fitness a priority, when really I don’t give a shit when everything else is falling apart.  But I’m standing. Waiting for a moment of solitude when I can then take a few steps forward and maybe see the light with my new coordinates. I will press on for the prize, I have no other choice. Tomorrow is a new slate and maybe, just maybe, I will hear His voice saying…"this is the way Nicky, walk in it".

Basically, I ate crap over easter weekend, so yes I am taking a ‘do-over’.

Everytime I have a good leg day I get a mental image of a horse. So strong and powerful. Yesterday was legs and I hit them harder than usual. the whole time I was thinking about the cookie I ate prior to going the gym, so I had to make up for it. I know the calories do not exactly balance out but I was so upset that I had to eat that cookie for fear of passing out. Another classic example of not being prepared with enough food for the day.

Anyway, it’s Easter weekend (Glory be to God) which not only means a time of reflection, but also family and food. So I will have to gird my mind up to eat clean, because it is sure difficult when homecooking is available and family is around. I am sure I will do well, I just have to sneak my snacks with me so I am full at all times. So off ot the inlaws I go…

Happy Easter Everyone!

I got in my 60 mins on the threadmill yesterday. I was so happy. It is alwasy a struggle to get to the gym in the wee hours of the morning, but oh so worth it. I didn’t end up going in the evening like I had planned to but that’s why morning workouts are the best! You just get it in! Eating was blah. I carried snacks but they still weren’t enough and I ended up drinking a soda and eating cheese. bleh! Unfortunately today I don’t have a lunch prepared (oh no!), so we will see how that goes. it is difficult to eat healthy when I go out. I need to muster up all the info about bad eating to help me conquer today’s challenge. We will see how it goes. 

 …As I am writing this, I realise that I can throw a can of tuna in a wrap for lunch! Silly me, I don’t always need to have a hot lunch. Ok, I am in the clear, today will be a good eating day! Whoo hoo!

I did arms today. Becuase I didn’t have much nutritious food in my body, I lifted sissy weights, much lower than my normal poundage but I was glad to be in the gym pumping. Tmr, I will start the day with cardio to start combatting the chubby tummy I have seemed to developed lately. I have realized a consistent regimen of morning cardio and weights in the evening is best for me. It is gruelling time wise, but I just get in the zone for a few weeks and hit the gym twice a day until I reach my goal. Then I coast back to 6 times a week.

 For the past week I have been fighting the sweet/carb cravings. How can I get rid of this? Any ideas? The weight loss I enjoyed recently with the new braces have diminished with the pastries I find myself eating. I don’t recognize myself because I speak against these refined foods all the time. This must be one motherload of a period coming up because I don’t get how I can eat cinnamon buns 4 days in a row and still not be satisfied. I need to get rid of these demons.

What is wrong with people? I am finally losing weight and feeling good about myself and people feel the need to tell me that I should not lose anymore weight. Friends, co-workers, family memebers. I am still 15lbs overweight for my height according to the medical system, it’s not like I am emaciated or something. Argh, the haters. That’s why I have my friends here on Bodyspace. People who really value hard work instead of criticizing.

Anyway, enough of that. Two days ago I did shoulders and tris. I was able to do 7-10 assisted dips and I was burning. That excercise is a killer, I dread them, I protest every time, but when I walk away from the machine I feel good about completing the task. My husband does them unassisted and one day I will surprise him and do at least 2. That’s my goal.

Big snow storm today, so I am not sure if I will make it to the gym today. It will have to be all about nutrition and tensing and flexing everywhere I go…maybe I should purposely walk in the snow for resistance and climb the snow banks for cardio. That’s something. lol.

My dream is to have a home gym. That will solve most of the winter obstacles.

So this is day 5 of my braces diet and I am starving! Not much variety in liquid forms of food. "Hmm, I wonder how liquified fish would taste…"

Anyway, I went to the gym after church (had to get it in) and wore one of my sexy gym tops instead of the usual oversized need-to-throw-this-out t-shirts. I felt great. I hit the chest and back today. While doing lat pull downs my husband was like "damn girl, look at those muscles". Apparently there was definition under the blanket of fat.

Today I learned however the difference between doing chest and feeling it in my arms and actually squeezing my boobies/chest to actually feel it in my chest. I so was not doing that before. It is the first time I feel like I have worked chest. Never felt those chest muscles before. Yay!

I love doing back. It makes me feel strong, and I know I am strong for my height. I love to see a woman with a sexy back and butt. So secretly I think getting those two attributes are my main fitness goals. "That’s right, watch me from behind everybody!"

Anyhoo, enough of the silliness. A new week starts tmr and I need to figure out what on earth I am going to slurp all day long. Tmr. I hit shoulders and arms after my chiropractic visit…can’t wait!

Crapola, this shit hurts!

I have nice teeth but my bite was off, so I decided to cough up $5000 for braces. Man oh Man, how do children wear these things? It feels like someone hit me with a baseball bat in my face. The only consolation is that I now fit into my size 0 jeans. yauh. I can’t eat/chew for about a week so I am basically on liquids. I lost 6 lbs already. I know those pounds may come flying back on once I start eating properly again, but I will wear all my small fitting clothes as payment for the screwed up funk my jaw is going through. You see, there is always a silver lining with every grey cloud.