goforitnicks’s BodyBlog

So yesterday I had one of those days that I tried every single cardio machine and did some sissy weights on the leg machines. Goodness gracious! I am never doing my workout after lunch again. I ended up doing something or the other on the elliptical (which I never use) for 35 minutes. I must say, I am carrying some determination that I didn`t have before.

Anyway, after wanting to quit because of my husband`s honesty, my friends here `smacked`me out of it. THANK YOU.  You guys have no idea how this site acts as a life saver sometimes.

I got my husband to join my efforts of losing weight (toning up for him) by a target date… so I hope that helps. The funny thing is, he expects me to not have any cheat meals and he eats like a kid in a candy store.  Shame. I should post a pic of him to let you see how much potential he has.

Anyway, i should get off my hiney and go to the gym now. Cheers.

So this weekend was wedding #7. I had an orange long dress waiting on the hanger for over a year now. This weekend, I was sure it would be the one. It zipped up alright, "yea Nicky", but everything was bulging and poking out. My husband pleaded with me not to wear it. I was so upset. Argh! I didn’t reach my goal.

On top of that disaster, I shared some of my fitness goals with my husband and he blatantly told me that I wouldn’t reach my target. (sigh) I know he is right, I need to do more, but I would also like to live my life and not feel that a cheat meal twice a week should be a no-no. Summer is the time when we go out the most and I should deny my friends and family? This is such a personal battle.

I thought I was doing so well but my husband basically told me to step it up from the already high rung I’m standing on. What else would he like me to give up? toothpaste, lest I swallow some and gain a few calories.

Maybe I’m not cut out for this? Maybe my 6-7 times in the gym and bland oatmeal breakfasts and soggy lunch salads are a waste of my precious time.

Argh

Geez Louise. Why can’t you grownup men and mutant ladies put back your 85lb dumbbells? I tried working out this morning and all around the benches were leviatian weights. I almost lost my footing doing an excercise because the weights were in my way. If I could have, I would have clean up after you, but I can’t move those things so if you are guilty of leaving weights everywhere besides the rack… you know what to do. For pete’s sake.

This year has been one for weddings. 11 friends are or will be getting married this year. Luckily for me, two are out of town.

This Saturday I am juggling two weddings, so I am supposed to be eating really clean this week in anticipation. Like hell that has been happening. I’ve been in such a mood lately that I have been knawing on a block of dark chocolate for the past 3 days. What is it with women and emotional eating?!

Anyway, I’ve been in the gym without my husband, because he has been really busy.  So usually I know what I am doing but this morning I  just aimlessly did some chest and shoulders and 45 mins of cardio. I really need to stick with working out though, though my diet is not exactly the cleanest. I can’t just let the two slide.

I am starting to recognize this pattern of "I don’t care, I just want to cry and eat everything" feeling. Ladies you know where I am coming from. It’s ridiculous. At this age, I shouldn’t have to be dealing with this emotional drama of a teenager every single month. How do the pros handle this?

Anyway, I think I’m down 1lb. That is incredible because it usually takes me like two weeks for that to happen. I have to weigh myself again tmr morning to make sure before I celebrate to early. Just thought I’d write it in black and white so at least it is real for a moment.

Last week I was away on business and literally had no time for the gym and ate several of my meals at buffets. Needless to say I was having anxiety attacks and couldn’t wait to get home. Instead of losing my 1-2lb that week I gained a lb but I’m ok. I think my mind needed that. I needed to eat dessert and taste real food again. Yea in the long run dessert has little nutritional value, but life is too short to totally deny these pleasures. Now that I’m back I’m ok. I splurged for a while, nibbling on bacon and waffles but overall I am content and could continue on this clean eating plan for another few weeks or so.

I am going to the gym tonight with the hubby to hit legs and shoulders. This morning I did 45 mins of cardio on our bike. The week has started off well.

My husband keeps showering me with compliments lately and he is usually a crtic, so even though the scale is moving at a glacial pace, I know that my physique is improving. I am so happy.

For the past 2-3 days I have not been feeling the greatest. Today for the first time in a while I succumbed to emotional eating. I had some dark chocolate and banana chips.

I forced myself to go to the gym this morning and the previous days that  I have been feeling down..tmr though is looking really tough. I hope I can muster up the strength to go.

Ever had that "I don’t give a damn, life is unfair " attitude? Well I am fighting with that right now. How do competitors fight this off and still desire to workout and eat boring crap?

Anyway, I did bodypump for the first time today. It is a weight training class that depends on endurance. It was quite interesting. Being the gym guru that I am, I wanted to use weights, which I would normally lift. But yikes, lifting in a class is so much different. They just kept going.

Not sure if I will do it again.

Ate like crap today and I am going on a business trip tmr. Yay, hotel food. Not.

So I was having fun with my church friends at our annual summer bbq/pool party yesterday when for some reason the host of the party decided to bring out her BMI scale just for freaking fun!

Having weighed myself earlier that morning, I was one of the first ones on the scale to show off the fact that I was 130lbs and very soon will be crossing over into the 2’s.

"WHAT"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!! I screamed with disbelief! "you mean to tell me that my Sears $79 scale is inaccurate and I am actually heavier than I thought." I blurted out.

The reading on the scale was 134lbs with bf% at 37.7%. Argh!

Now, you may think that 4lbs difference is not so bad, Since I thought I was 130lbs all this time but when I’ve been working for 2 1/2 years to get into the one-twenty-something, this extra 4 pounds seems like a tonne. Torture.

For the rest of the evening I felt like Sh*t. All morning today, I just sat here on the computer, going through this site and others to determine how on earth do others do it. It takes me so long to lose a pound. blah, I feel so blue.

I know I will gain some perspective sometime, but right now, I’m upset.

OMG!

I have been walking bent over writhing in pain. Has anyone had severe stomach pain after starting a new workout/nutrition routine? I could hardly walk so my workouts for the past few days have been trifle. I dragged my ass to the gym and did shoulders and 35mins of cardio but Lord have mercy!

I feel like someone punched me in my stomach and left a burning hole on impact. I wonder if it could be my old ulcers flaring up, but I am eating!! Here is a typical day this week.

Meal 1: Oats, 2 egg whites, green tea

Meal 2: fruit, cottage cheese

Meal 3: whole wheat pasta, veggies, chicken

Meal 4: protein shake

Meal 5: Salad with grill chicken

Meal 6: fruit or cottage cheese, green tea

Lots of water!!

I think that’s a decent meal? (and that’s modest, I have had chinese food or roti for lunches too). I obviously splurge on my lunches.

So someone, if you have experience this debilitating pain, or have advice on my nutrition, please help. Another barrier to push through to keep on going but this one is tough.

I felt like puking at the gym this morning after cardio and mentally I can feel myself shutting down for the gym tmr.

After yesterday’s fiasco, I would have normally ate those ice cream bars,but I didn’t. I went to the gym with my husband and did back and bis. I really need to realise that things WILL happen along the way to throw me off course and if I give in just that once, I will never make it.

I was up early doing paperwork so I didn’t get time to run. We will see how today goes. But I am determine to still think like a champion. Come what may, I am reaching my goal.

Apart from running a small business, volunteering and a number of other time demanding activities I work with mentally disabled people on a part time basis. I love what I do but of late, I have been going nuts with the demands of the job. Today an individual knocked me into a wall and pulled me to the ground by my hair. In the process scratching my beautiful face .

 Damn. I am so upset. Last week, a woman bent my hand till tears were edging to pour out. Why am I doing this I ask myself?! I am so emotional and upset with a gigantic headache of course, I want to eat eveything in sight. For the past week I’ve really been good. I mean really! And though I felt slightly unwell this morning I went for a run. Now this happened at work and I feel like shit, not wanting to go to the gym.

Why does life get in the way? I was doing so well with my eating and workouts. Now all I want to do is curl up in bed and nurse my wounds with chocolate and ice cream.